The Invasion

(originally posted on May 9, 2007)

This is a non-canon review for Horror Movie A Day, since A. I already did a movie for today, 2. it was a test screening and thus I can't expect anyone else to have seen it, and D. its more of a plea to Warner Bros to reconsider releasing the film at all.

I have seen probably 3,000 movies in my life. Sounds a lot, but consider 20 years of watching, that comes out to about 150 a year. Even before this, I watched 3-4 a week or more, so I feel that's a safe estimate. Now, in all of those movies, as awful as some of them have been, there is one thing that I can't say about any of them besides The Invasion, and that is "Whoever edited this film needs to be raped to death with his own Avid".

Never, ever, in my entire movie-watching life, have I been so offended as an editor (my real job IS as an editor, non-intro readers you) to see such a god awful hack job on what is technically a major motion picture. Throughout the entire film, in addition to bizarre avid farts that show alien blood cells flying around, we are shown portions of future scenes. Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig will be talking about trying to escape, and 2 or 3 times over the course of the scene, the editor will cut to 5 or 10 seconds worth of said escape. Or Kidman will be looking for her son, and we will cut to them reunited, then back again. As you might expect, this effectively destroys every iota of suspense the film could have possibly mustered, and renders the film entirely useless, not to mention laughable. There are also repeated closeups of things like tailpipes and gas pedals being stomped, glaring continuity errors, etc. It is destined to be the most nonstop movie drinking game ever. Just taking a sip of beer every time we see something we had already seen in a previous scene will give you alcohol poisoning.

Please, Warner Bros, let someone who actually knows what the fuck he is doing re-edit this film into something that's merely boring instead of disgraceful. It's not like we don't already have THREE good versions of the film to watch in the meantime.

And goddammit, stop trying to wring some suspense out of people waiting for an elevator to take them to safety! It hasn't been exciting in 20 years, why the fuck do you think YOU can pull it off?

1 comment:

  1. my favorite moment in the movie was when the lady told nicole kidman her husband killed their dog and nicole prescribes a new medicine for HER! WTF!!


Movie & TV Show Preview Widget