The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007)

MARCH 25, 2007


This review will not contain any jokes about the lack of canine flashbacks.

Lots of folks are complaining that Hills Have Eyes 2 is the same as the first movie. And to them I say: have you ever SEEN a sequel? All sequels have the same basic synopsis: new folks come along and the same killer or killers as before kills them. Sometimes there’s a new location.

They’re also wrong, at least compared to many sequels. The first film (though not so much as the superior original) dealt with families doing what they had to do to survive. This is simply a bunch of people. They are supposedly an army (or marine, or national guard, I already forget) unit, but they have little to no real attachment to one another. Two or three of the guys give the ‘fuck you, I’m out of here, I’ll send for help!’ speech before eating it. Semper Fi! Or whatever.

Kudos to the Cravens and whoever got credit for directing it for casting not a single recognizable person in the film. At least, not recognizable to me. I must say I enjoyed the performances of the Tim Olyphant-ish main guy and the Kristen Wiig-ish main girl (who was also cute as hell). The rest: eh. Actually now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure one guy was on Smallville. Step up, or step down? Time will tell…

Probably a step up.

As remakes of sequels go, it’s not terrible, but it’s still pretty half-assed. But unlike the original remake, there’s no idiotic flag waving and “you created us!” nonsense, which is a relief. Here, the jingoistic elements are more subtle: one of the guys shoves his rifle into the main mutant’s head.

Hills III is set up at the end. Hopefully it will turn into Mind Ripper II by the time it comes out.

What say you?


  1. I really disliked that movie. I loved the first one! Well, the recent first one I mean! It's a bit weird... I saw the II old one, and the I and II recent ones. Anyway. I disliked this one! I mean...I have nothing against violence for violence in movies, but I didn't think this was going to be that kind of movie! It was just blood and then blood...and then blood! and some quotes are just so ridiculous! Pff... I think I liked the old better, at least it was funy! Yay, "dog remember...."

  2. Yeah the old one is definitely better. Also, almost everyone in this movie died of their own stupidity (falling off a cliff, shooting themselves...)

  3. Aaaannnnnd I'm back (my overflowing ego is showing oh... ah I don't care enough to hide it)

    Okay first thing first I came back round here abouts to see what you thought of house of 1000 corpses, but a quick few searches uncovered little to nothing.
    Then I figured I would comment on the hills have eyes as clear lines can be drawn between the two except in 1000 corpses case I feel it was how it should be done... and on a smaller budget to boot... buuuuttt I couldn't find that. So here I am, commenting on a most hated sequal remake thing.

    First thing first, totally agree with your assesment of the character choice, I see no reason why the military men didn't have a bit of a closer relationship in some way or sense, not to mention they all seemed ill trained, deaf, blind and unable to work cohesivly to combat a very obvious threat. (film currently coming to mind is dogsoldiers)
    But not only this for some unknown freaking reason the disfigured canible ones are given even more ungodly strength than they used to have in the first one, sure it makes for nice gore but it is just silly since they don't have super powers and some of the stuff they do defies all body laws (Yup I am sounding stupid once again at 2:30am complaining on the lack of realisum in horror films, it is like a man who wrote in to "The Walking Dead" and complained about rigour mortis not being present in the reanimated dead, but one scant paragraph below this complained again but this time about the lack of running *ugh* zombies)
    But seriously, if the prey are even weaker than the first bunch of civilians despite being a larger group, military trained and owning guns... why in god's name do the disfigured ones have to possess herculean streangth.
    My mini rant in closeing here I would like to continue onto a few other topics and close loose ends if you beg my indulgance a while more.

    Noooooww onto house of 1000 corpses, yes has been done before and certain as hell doesn't suprise BUT what it does do it does well and focusing on the firefly clan and giving everyone a personality and dialogue outside of the scenes with victums was character building gold, that added to I love carnival masks and the first scene made my face light up like a child reading his very first clive barker book (I read damnation game at 11 and love CB for life... just not as much as HP Lovecraft, oh and I don't read much horror fiction as is so yeah)... Actually it was strange to see the only people who weren't chosen well for the acting were the main four characters (oh god fish boy EPIC) and god they had some stupid lines.
    I am actually looking forward to The Devils Rejects, doesn't sound like a horror at all but god from the sound of it it sounds like a damn good ending.

    And finally I shall clear up my gripe with running zombies(infected peoples whatever), it is purely because they are TOO damn strong, every movie/game I have seen them in the survivors have unrealisticly made it through somehow. Slow zombies add tension and a constant fear + the ability to have the main cast move from location to location rather than hole up in one place.
    That said the living dead series is damn good... actually I have liked all of romero's originals also, this said I hated zack snyder's remake and the quote "we couldn't keep the camera on the zombies for too long or they would look too lifelike" should say everything, that and the script taken went from being gold in the original dawn to that shit where I couldn't give 5 asses if any of them died.

    This all said and done. Sleeping now, or maybe a movie before sleep, who knows.

    Keep up the good work by the way you have a brilliant blog and I am sad I didn't find it earlier.

  4. I remember I saw this when I was sick and stayed home from school. I had nothing else to do, so I thought, why not? xD

    To sum it up, this movie didn't do anything for me, really. : /


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