Bloody Birthday

MARCH 18, 2007


I like to imagine that John Carpenter and Harry Manfredini went to see Bloody Birthday together, and then flipped a coin to see who got to sue first, but the coin landed on its side so they just shrugged it off all together. The music is stolen almost directly from Friday the 13th (they change a note or two to spice things up), and a scene early on between our two female leads (one of whom is even the daughter of the sheriff) echoes Halloween so closely I’m pretty sure it’s even the same block in Pasadena (I can’t find any info as to where the film was shot so I dunno).

But don’t let those things fool you: this film is completely classless. And hilarious. The scene where the cop comes to the school to talk to the kids features what may be the most uninterested performance in film history. He’s sort of looking off into space (or his cue cards) and speaking monosyllabically. It’s almost as funny as a few minutes later when they beat him over the head with a shovel a few times and tell his wife he ‘fell’.

Killer kid movies are at their best when they don’t try to make any point or include any symbolism. These kids just kill for the hell of it. Since they were born during an eclipse, they have no souls (possibly the most ridiculous exposition in a film up until 1989, when Jason Takes Manhattan had us believe that the sewers of New York were flushed out with toxic waste every night), so they go about killing their parents, a teacher, and a seemingly endless supply of horny teens.

Also, I most note that the kid with the glasses is the most terrifying killer kid I’ve ever seen in a film.

Sadly, they do NOT rip off Carpenter in the most important department: killing off other kids. While the three of them have no trouble beating a sheriff to death, they can’t manage to kill the neighbor kid. Lame.

Julie Brown gets naked. I’m pretty sure it’s against the law to discuss the film without mentioning that.

The film is relatively obscure, but I hope someone else has seen it. It’s too reprehensible a film to go otherwise unposted about. Also it helps smooth things over when you try to play “Ambulance” with the person next to you on the bus.

What say you?


  1. I love this movie. I can't believe it's as obscure as it is. I was interested in who the kid with the glasses was too because I thought he looked like Bobby Jacoby (who now goes by Robert Jayne)from Tremors. Turns out, he's his older brother Scott.

    Some funny Gonzo stuff at the end:
    1. When the three psycho kids were chasing the hero kid, they were very careful to stay on the sidewalk rather than cross through a homeowner's wide open lawn.

    2. Somehow, the kid with glasses is able to rewire the house's security system which trapped everyone in the house. Now, I dunno much about home security, but I'm pretty sure most've them don't control door and window locks. Also, if the doors were locked, how did psycho girl open the window to get out?

    3. At the beginning, how those tiny kids were able to hang the horny teenagers with a jump rope is beyond me. Later in the movie, the psycho girl tries the same trick on the final girl and she easily overpowers the little girl, so I guess you couldn't argue that their mystic birth gave them any sort of super strength.

    4. I loved the peep hole gags and it was super funny watching the psycho girl firing arrows through it. She would barely pull the string back 3, maybe four inches but would still provide enough power to propel an arrow into a girl's cranium.

    This was awesome from beginning to end!

  2. Sorry, it's Billy Jacoby, not Scott.


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