HMAD Screening: Halloween II

When Michael from the New Beverly told me I could host the screening of Halloween II, I was already ecstatic - as a junkie for the franchise I'd even be happy to host one of the lesser entries, let alone the first (and to some, best) sequel. But it wasn't until later that I discovered that the original film would be screening directly before it, allowing me to play a small part in an incredibly rare event - back to back screenings of Halloween/Halloween II in glorious 35mm!

As just about any slasher fan worth his salt knows, Halloween II picks up directly after Halloween, continuing the night of that same October 31st as Laurie is taken to the hospital for her injuries, with The Shape in hot pursuit. Being Michael Myers, he of course kills just about everyone in the hospital BUT his target, but that's what makes it so fun, right? And Loomis - in a greatly expanded role - is still after his former patient, but it's not such a pressing matter that he can't stop to mutter his usual nonsense to anyone who will listen. I'm a particular fan of "It's a TRIBE! One of their number was butchered - this is a WAKE!"

Thus, difference in quality (and Jamie Lee's hair) aside, it's a perfect horror double feature, since most part 2s can give you whiplash (a movie from a completely different series would make a better pair with Nightmare on Elm Street than Freddy's Revenge), made even sweeter by the proximity to its namesake holiday. Of course, the Halloween screening is a charity event (one that sold out - even the 500 dollar tickets!), so I know not all of you will have the opportunity to do both, but I'm hoping there will be a lot of folks that are doubling up on their Myers time.

And while I don't have prints available (yet?), my screening DOES have a custom poster as well, courtesy of Jacopo Tenani, who also provided a terrific piece for August's Monkey Shines screening. The poster is below, and when you're finished drooling over it like I did when I first saw it, feel free to share it on your sites to help promote the screening! As the poster explains, Halloween II will be showing at 11:59 pm on Saturday, October 27th, at the New Beverly Cinema - 7165 Beverly Blvd, Los Angeles CA 90036. Tickets are 8 bucks cash at the door or online at BrownPaperTickets; street parking is widely available (Formosa is usually the best option). I'll have some DVDs and other swag to give away before the screening, so get there early! Despite the full house for the charity event, I think we will be starting on time as there's no 2nd feature like usual - the theater should be emptied/tidied up long before midnight. Don't be late for the big giveaway!!!

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What do YOU want?

As regular readers probably know, I will be heading to London for the awesome FrightFest UK in just four weeks (!!!), and I am starting to get everything in order. One thing that I have been puzzling over is how you folks would prefer to get your HMAD "fix" while I'm away. As of right now, I plan to see TWENTY TWO films, plus a number of shorts, while I am there (though Hatchet II I will NOT be reviewing due to the fact that I worked - however briefly and tenuously - on it). Obviously, that is way too many films to give the usual review treatment to in a timely manner, so I was thinking doing one or two regular reviews per day (hopefully "on location" - I will have my netbook), but for the rest, what would you folks like? Quick daily (ish) video reviews? "Summary" style posts like I usually do for short films? Or full length reviews down the road? I don't want to spend too much time there goofing around on a computer, but I'd like to keep the site "going" in the week that I'm away, lest you all forget about me.

Keep in mind I'll also be doing stuff for Bloody Disgusting (more traditional reviews, interviews, news breaks), so you can always keep up with me there. Twitter, on the other hand, may be spotty, as I won't have my phone and would rather be writing something with a little more merit during breaks.

So let me know... I'd hate to sit around with a webcam making little video reviews if none of you are interested in watching them. Nor do I want to try to write full reviews of everything if it's going to be too much for you to read on the can (I assume most folks read HMAD on the can). It's a unique experience and I want to cover it in a unique way (for HMAD, that is).

Thanks!

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5 Films By Dario Argento

In addition to the most straight forward box set title of all time (even 50 Chilling Classics is a bit vague in comparison), 5 Films By Dario Argento is a pretty good set, despite the lack of any of his top tier titles such as Suspiria or Deep Red. Hopefully another collection from Anchor Bay will find its way to shelves later this year (the rights to Argento's films are constantly changing hands).

But these 5 are a good way to be introduced to the master. You should start with Trauma, which is a good film to start with, as it combines the sort of strange feeling of his earlier films with the accessibility of his later work. Depending on what you like more, you should then go back and watch Tenebrae and Phenomena for more of a classic Argento approach (i.e. some of it doesn't make any goddamn sense), or go forward and watch Do You Like Hitchcock? and The Card Player, which are more standard, direct thrillers, albeit with a few classic Argento touches.

(the above links will take you to the individual reviews - don't forget there are spoilers)

All five films are good or great, there is no outright stinker in the box (of course, Argento only has one such film in his career - Phantom Of The Opera, which is ironic since his all time best film is a modernization of the story, simply titled Opera). And the price is much less than the cost of the five films bought separately, so if you don't own any, this is an easy purchase.

It's also a compact release - the metal casing only takes up as much space as a normal DVD would on your shelf, despite the fact that there are 5 discs. The discs are placed inside much like recent TV releases, with two discs on a plastic tracy, one halfway below the other. This means you have to take out the 'front' disc to reach the 'back' one, but they are quite sturdy, which is more important in the long run (if you want to know how NOT to package a DVD set, feel free to check out the horrendous HD release of Battlestar Galactica Season 1 - it's just about the worst thing I've ever seen).

Highly recommended, and please buy it, so we get another collection. Thanks!

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Fango Con - Day #2!

Man, am I tired. Even though it seems I was sitting for a good chunk of the day, my feet feel like they are about to fall off. On a plus note, I obtained a few more Fangorias AND got 3 much needed (and fairly rare) signatures*... I now only need 10 issues and will have the entire run!

Like yesterday, I will now present some of the highlights!

- Rob Tapert revealed that Boogeyman 3 is already completed shooting and now being edited... this is possibly good news as B2 was actually a lot of fun.
- Tapert also updated us on the status of Grudge 3, apparently they begin shooting Monday. With a new creative team, this might turn out OK, but still, I am not holding my breath.
- Some good stuff from the Fear Itself panel; including most of the director/writer teams. Victor Salva is writing an episode for John Landis, and the guys who did the Carpenter episodes of MoH will be working with Last Winter director Larry Fessenden. Also, many cast members were revealed, such as Landry from Friday Night Lights, and uber-cutie Shiri Appleby.
- The LA Convention Center operates on the assumption that people stop eating at 5 pm.
- The screening room setup isn't ideal - I don't expect elevated seats and all that, but unless you're in the front row it's impossible to see the bottom half of the movie even if no one is in front of you! Hopefully they will improve this for next year.
- Clive Barker has a bunch of projects in the works, including new books and new films. First on the list is Dread, which is going to be directed by Anthony DiBlasi, one of the producers on the upcoming Midnight Meat Train.
- Eric Red's 100 Feet looks pretty chill... at one point, the increasingly lonely and house-bound Famke Jannsen (she has one of those ankle things that keep her under house arrest) lusts over a college age delivery boy - which made me wish I was a delivery boy. Or an actor playing one at least.

Tomorrow is, of course, the big day, as GEORGE ROMERO himself will be doing a panel along with several other key Night of the Living Dead folks as part of the film's 40th anniversary. Come on down!

*Once I had obtained around 75% of the Fangoria collection, I began a new quest: having the director of whatever film was on the cover (main photo, not the sidebar stuff) sign it. As you can imagine, it's not very easy, especially since a. many of them do not attend cons anymore, such as John Carpenter, b. they have a LOT of crap no one remembers on the covers, particularly in the early 90s (Dolly Dearest? Christ!), and c. some of them are dead. Also I refuse to pay for autographs, which also sort of screws me for a few. Still, it's fun, and I have made good progress thus far.

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Donate For a Future Horror Movie!

Hey all, not sure how familiar you are with Kickstarter, but basically it's a place for folks to sort of put their money where their mouth is and donate towards projects in various stages of development, including films. And one I'd very much like to see succeed is THIS ONE, which is seeking to raise the post production costs for a film titled Among Friends, starring and directed by Danielle Harris (her directorial debut!) and co-starring my good pal AJ Bowen. The movie is being made either way, this money goes for professional post work. One thing about Kickstarter - if they fall short of their goal, you don't pay, so if you believe in the project, and have the funds to donate, you can be assured that your donation WILL make a difference, and if not enough money is raised, you haven't actually "wasted" a cent. So, win-win, really (especially in this case as the movie is, again, actually being made - shooting begins this week if I am not mistaken).

So if you can, help pitch in. High enough donations will net you some nice "thank you" gifts, such as a DVD of the film, autographed photos, even a phone call from Ms. Harris herself. AND, as a special bonus just for HMAD fans, when you donate ANY amount, add the hashtag #HMAD to your comment to automatically enter you into a contest - I will be picking a name at random from all the #HMAD donors and sending them a cool prize pack of my own, and no it's not just some crappy used DVDs.

Thanks in advance, and good luck with the bonus contest!

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Hey Look! I'm Writing About Horror Movies!

If daily reviews (and Lost Episode A Day!) aren't enough to satisfy your BC cravings, head on over to the kick-ass new site Badass Digest and read my long (even by my standards) defense of Halloween 4, which is the debut entry for my weekly column over there. Some columns might just be reviews (not unlike the "non canon" reviews I do here), others might be rants on something current... the only real unifying theme will be, well, horror movies. The plan is to have a new column every Tuesday, which is of course the same day of the week that the Alamo Drafthouse has their Terror Tuesdays series. It just so happens that this week's TT movie is Halloween 4, so it made a nice place to start (it won't always have that sort of synergy). I hope you guys dig it, and bookmark Badass Digest for daily reading!

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Need Some More BC In Your Life?

Hey folks, I'll be on TV again this Friday (Oct 28th) as part of Chiller's new special "Chiller 13: Horror's Creepiest Kids", in which me and a bunch of far more reputable folks discuss some of the great weirdo children in horror movies, both good (Cole from Sixth Sense, Carol Anne from Poltergeist) and bad (Children of the Corn, Henry from Good Son), and everything in between. Sadly they did not include Cathy from Cathy's Curse, but nobody's perfect.

The special premieres at 8pm and shows round the clock for the rest of the night. And if you missed the previous BC-ified special, "The Decade's Scariest Movies", that one will be repeating a couple times before the Creepiest Kids one premieres. So pretty much anytime you turn on the Chiller channel this Friday, you might catch me rambling on and on about horror movies. For a change.

Hope you guys enjoy it! Happy Halloween!

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HMAD Is Headed Overseas!!!

My three favorite ladies (my wife, my mom, and my sister) joined forces to get me the best Christmas gift ever - a plane ticket (and passport fee money) to attend Frightfest UK this August! As die hard horror nerds know, this is sort of the holy grail of horror movie film festivals, 5 days of mostly premiering horror films from around the world, at one of the biggest movie theaters in existence (it seats over 1300). Last year brought the premieres of films like Descent II, Hills Run Red, Night of the Demons, Beware The Moon (along with a special screening of American Werewolf itself, with Landis and co. in attendance), and Human Centipede, and I sat seething with jealous rage as a few friends who got to go tweeted about the films they were seeing.

However the hotel costs and things like food/transportation are up to me, and our money is only worth about half as much over there (so a 5 dollar beer is really like 10 in American). Therefore, my wife has set up the "Brian To Frightfest" blog where folks can pitch in to help offset some of these costs (and, if you're an HMAD reader who doesn't know me personally, you get to read what my wife has to say about the whole thing! Spoiler - she doesn't hate horror movies (yet)!). Oddly, the page has been set up since October, and even though it says "Horror Movie A Day" on it, I never found it until yesterday (Christmas), a few minutes before she was about to show it to me as part of my gift (it came up in my Google alert for HMAD - good timing!). It's not a fundraiser - I'm fucking GOING - but if you guys can pitch in a couple bucks to help offset some of the living costs while I'm there (six days), it would help a lot (and mean even more). And in return, you get like, what, 20 reviews of brand spankin' new horror movies spread out over five days! Everyone wins!

And if any readers are also going (I know I got some fans in the UK!), let me know! We need to grab a pint!

What sayest thou?

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Fango Con - Day #1!

Friday is traditionally a slower day, since lots of folks are at work still and many of the big guests are on the higher profile weekend days. Still, there were a few highlights worth noting:

- Tony Todd revealed that he will NOT be in Final Destination 4 (at least, not yet anyway), but will be back in Hatchet 2.
- Anchor Bay has another cool package in store for the complete season of Masters of Horror (season 2) - last time was a crypt, this time it's a skull. Looks cool, but tiny (how are they all going to fit?)
- The LA Convention Center is actually its own country; a world where food is very rare, hence 4 dollars for a 16 oz fountain soda, 5 dollars for a fruit salad consisting of less than 20 chunks of melon/cantaloupe/watermelon, and a whopping 8 dollars for a tuna fish (?) sandwich equivalent to the 6 inch ones at Subway.
- Malevolence 2 is finally coming. It's actually a prequel to the above-average independent slasher by Stevan Mena, with a bigger cast (Michael Biehn!) and bigger scope. It looks pretty f-ing great, if you ask me. Looking forward to this one...
- Another one that caught my eye: XII. It's directed by a guy named Michael A. Nickles (Jim Morrison in Waynes World 2!) and stars Hatchet's Mercedes Mcnab. It looks kickass! Someone send me a copy of this!!!
- Penny Drake, from Zombie Strippers and The Cook, is not only super hot, but incredibly tall. More tall women!
- There's a movie called Twilight coming out, based on some vampire books for teenaged girls, and I am somehow "stupid" for never hearing of them. To me it looks like Blood and Chocolate only with vampires, but what do I know?
- Robert Galuzzo's Psycho documentary is actually highly focused on the sequels! Too many of these franchise history things (either book or film) focus primarily on the original and then sort of short change the sequels, but this looks to reverse the trend, with II-IV getting as much, if not more than, respect as the original. In addition to key cast and crew from all the films, the doc features memories and praise from other horror filmmakers such as Joe Lynch, Stuart Gordon, and Adam Green.
- Troughs still exist. Why have urinals when you can awkwardly pee next to another man without any sort of barrier between you?
- Parking IS relatively cheap - 12 bucks and you can use a credit card. Not too bad at all, considering for E3 it was all 20/cash only.

All in all, off to a good start, and on a personal note, I am now 2 issues closer to achieving my goal of owning every issue of Fangoria ever published. 12 to go!

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HMAD's 6th Annual End Of Year Awards!!

JANUARY 26, 2013

GENRE: AWARDS!
SOURCE: ME!

Remember when I used to get these things up in the first week of January? This one's even later than last year's, which began with an apology for being so late. Well, again, sorry. If it makes you feel better, next year's won't be late... because it won't exist!

Yep, this is the LAST end of the year awards for HMAD, as I'll be wrapping up before the year is even half over. I know, it's a bummer, but I'll still be reviewing movies and delivering a normal top 10 list, so it's all good. Don't forget, a full HALF of the movies on the following list are terrible, so take comfort that, for my sake, I won't be watching as many bad movies anymore. And tweeting far less too! You can turn me off mute!

Well let's not delay any more - on to the awards! As always, this is based on the 365+ movies watched in the calendar year, NOT based on movies released in 2012. For my top 10 picks on that front, head over to Badass Digest - this is HMAD-centric and thus the movies might have been released in 1929, if released yet at all. Enjoy!

Best Movie You All Saw: SINISTER
Considering its low budget and that it starred Ethan Hawke (whose only two big box office hits really starred Robin Williams and Denzel Washington), I wasn't expecting Sinister to make much of a splash, despite being quite good (#3 on my traditional best of list). But I was happy to be wrong; the film nearly outgrossed its biggest competition in October (the terrible Paranormal Activity 4), and is now Hawke's biggest hit as the sole lead. Good job, folks!

Worst Movie You Didn't See: PLAYBACK
There are actually a few movies that I saw theatrically that were actually worse, but none of them reported their box office so I don't know what their final take was (in Don't Go In The Woods' case, that might just be my 10 bucks). However, Playback's pitiful 264 dollar take was reported as the lowest of the year, and I can vouch that if anything, it should have been lower. Trust me, even with Christian Slater's brief role as the town pervert (!), it's not worth the ironic rental.

Bad Title, Good Movie: CAPTAIN KRONOS: VAMPIRE HUNTER
With that title, I was expecting a spoof, or at least something kind of comedic, but not only was it played straight, it's actually one of Hammer's best vampire films, combining action/adventure with an engaging mystery and a terrific sidekick in Grost. Add in the usual "Hammer Glamour" and you get a movie that is far from a sidenote in the studio's impressive library.

Good Title, Bad Movie: THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON
Listen, if you're going to invoke Pink Floyd's classic album (though not my favorite of theirs, for the record), at least make a decent movie, instead of a mess that can't decide if it wants to rip off Alien or The Thing, and tosses in the Bermuda Triangle for good measure. This should be called, I dunno, The Division Bell or something.

Best Movie You Thought Was Found Footage: LOVELY MOLLY
It's from the director of Blair Witch Project and features POV from a video camera (used a lot on its marketing), but most of the movie is traditionally shot, and pretty damn good as well. It's a Repulsion-esque tale of a woman slowly going mad, and our job is to figure out if it's all in her head or if there are supernatural elements at play. As with Blair, the website fills in more of the backstory, but the real draw is Gretchen Lodge's incredible turn in her first film (!).

Worst Movie You Thought Was Found Footage: CHERNOBYL DIARIES
Paranormal's Oren Peli produced and the trailers featured lots and lots of floaty, jerky camerawork that easily could have been mistaken for someone's POV, but Chernobyl Diaries was indeed a standard feature film. However, it was WRITTEN like a found footage movie, in that nothing happens for an hour and then they rush through the rest, and focus mainly on characters that are fairly annoying and dumb (that proposal subplot, EGADS!). Waste of a good bear scare.

Best Movie I Saw On Vacation: THE BABY
Even a broken up viewing on a tiny portable player wasn't enough to kill the power of this masterpiece of batshit cinema; when HMAD is over this will be one of the movies I definitely revisit and watch just for the sake of watching a unique and totally bonkers horror movie again. And all in one sitting!

Worst Movie I Saw On Vacation: SQUEAL
One thing I hate about being tied to the "rules" of the site is that when I travel I have to take time away from friends or family that I don't get to see too often. When it's a good movie like The Baby, it at least softens the blow, but when it's as terrible and hateful as Squeal, it makes me wish I could just lie and say I watched something. Here I am in New York, celebrating the wedding of one of my favorite people in the world, and instead of hanging out with the other folks that have gathered (some of whom I haven't seen since moving to LA 7 years ago), I'm watching a movie about cannibal pig-men terrorizing a group of assholes. No more!

"It's Better Than Shark Night!": BAIT 3D
Another 3D shark film, but with the good sense to be R rated, Anchor Bay sadly didn't have much faith in this one (possibly BECAUSE of the failure of Shark Night). While they have put films out on as many as 80 screens in the past, Bait apparently only got a single one, the weekend before it hit Blu-ray. A shame - it was a lot of fun and had some great use of the 3D format.

"It's Worse Than Shark Night!": SHARK WEEK
Syfy seemed to be directly copying Shark Night with this one, as it had the same Saw-esque approach to a killer shark movie (and lest we forget, Shark Night's villains' main goal was to sell their footage to Discovery for Shark Week itself). Unfortunately it's nowhere near as entertaining, with a too-low body count (most of which is racked up only in its final 10 minutes) and a complete lack of Katharine McPhee, aka the reason I enjoyed Shark Night as much as I did.

Best use of John Cusack: THE FACTORY
Aw, poor The Factory. It's not a terrible movie, just a sadly outdated one... and that's something I would have said had it been released in 2008 when it was shot. Who knows when it will come out in the US (it's been released in a few overseas markets), but when it does you can at least enjoy Cusack in solemn/"driven to the extreme!" mode, feeling a bit bad for him as he tries his best to elevate a pretty generic kidnapping thriller.

Worst use of John Cusack: THE RAVEN
I assume that if a lesser actor had the lead in The Raven, it would not have been treated to a wide release (though I'm sure the success of the similar Sherlock Holmes movies played a part). The terrible mystery, lackluster action/horror, and horrible performance by Alice Eve should have sent this thing directly to cable, but Cusack, aping both Nicolas Cage and Robert Downey Jr depending on his mood, used up some of his ever shrinking box office appeal on this disaster. What a waste.

Best Homage To Guy Ritchie: COCKNEYS VS ZOMBIES
I'm still bummed that I watched this one on a screener instead of at Fantastic Fest with a big crowd of (presumably) delighted moviegoers, but at least I know it's just as fun on a tiny portable DVD player. A terrific cast and lots of laid back charm, plus an endearing motivation for the "criminal" lead characters were more than enough to make up for the increasingly overused idea of "Let's make Lock Stock and 2 Smoking Barrels but with zombies (or werewolves, or vampires)!" Also, any movie with Honor Blackman mowing down the undead is automatically worth a look.

Worst Homage To Guy Ritchie: GANGSTERS, GUNS, AND ZOMBIES
Basically the same damn movie (robbers, England, zombies), but without the charm, entertaining action, or style. This one is available now, but I implore you - wait for Cockneys to hit our stores.

Best Memento Of The 90s: TALE OF THE MUMMY
1998's Tale of the Mummy actually came before Dracula 2000, but has similar DNA - a cast of up and comers mixed with veterans, a fast moving plot that takes the time for some quickie romance, and lots of CGI. But it's actually pretty fun, and was a nice reminder of how enjoyable movies were before irony and pretension took over for good.

Worst Memento Of The 90s: BORDELLO OF BLOOD
Unfortunately, this is what a lot of 1990s horror was like: blandly shot, indifferently written, and loaded with people that don't deserve to be background extras, let alone carrying films. Dennis Miller's wannabe Fletch is possibly the most grating "hero" ever seen in a horror film, and I'm pretty sure this was the film that turned Corey Feldman from a mildly talented actor into a self-parodying goon. 16 year old me was wise enough to skip it; I guess it proves that HMADing has only made me dumber.

Best Movie Known By An Acronym: JDATE (John Dies At The End)
As I write this, Don Coscarelli's awesomely weird/splatter-y JDATE is hitting theaters, and I've already bought a ticket to see it a 2nd time - the number of movies I see twice in theaters anymore is a very low one, so consider this the highest endorsement I can give a film.

Worst Movie Known By An Acronym: HATES (House At The End Of The Street)
It should actually be HATEOTS, but the publicists and studio were going with #HATES on Twitter and such, thus going out of their way to set themselves up for easy jokes. Possibly interesting at one point (there are several writers listed), the finished product is a bland Psycho wannabe without a shred of suspense or a single actual surprise in the plot. And I love Elisabeth Shue, but working in a line about how she had her daughter (Jennifer Lawrence) when she was in her teens just to make her seem younger left a bad taste in my mouth. In reality she's 27 years older than Lawrence, still looks fantastic, and deserves better material than this.

Thanks, Twilight!: MIDNIGHT SON
Pretty much anything involving love and a vampire will find it easier to get made nowadays, because it will be pretty easy for a distributor to put together some Twi-art and get it sold in foreign territories. But that doesn't mean the movies will all be just as bland/bad, and indeed Midnight Son is one of the best vamp films I've seen in ages. Drawing more from films like Habit and Martin than Edward Cullen, it's an engaging, sad tale that is definitely worth seeking out.

Fuck you, Twilight!: I KISSED A VAMPIRE
Fuck Glee, too, as this is basically a combination of both. Two vamps (one bad, one good) fight over a girl, and sing very bad songs nonstop as they carry out this "battle". Without a single catchy song and a turn by the ever-awful Chris Coppola, the only thing this movie is good for is proving to Twilight critics that things could always be far, far worse.

Best Private Screening: RAAZ 3D (in 2D)
I actually got to the theater a bit early for Raaz 3D, because the theater was the go-to place for "Bollywood" releases and thus I figured there would be a pretty big crowd - why else would the theater consistently set aside a screen for such fare? But no, not only was it not crowded, I had the entire place to myself, without a single other patron to share the entertainment at this imperfect but enjoyable riff on The Grudge-style horror.

Worst Private Screening: DON'T GO IN THE WOODS
You'd think a film directed by an acclaimed actor that was only showing once a day at a theater in Beverly Hills would attract more than a few folks on its opening night, but nope. Everyone else in the world proved to be smarter than me, skipping this atrocious "slasher musical" and thus permitting me to wonder aloud why the hell I do this to myself.

Best Cinefamily Reaction To Incest: NIGHT WARNING
When the deranged, murderous mom forces her tongue down her teenaged son's throat (as she's dying!), the crowd let out a collective "Ewwww" with a touch of laughter, perfectly appropriate for a gonzo bit in a very nutty movie.

Worst Cinefamily Reaction To Incest: THE WITCH WHO CAME FROM THE SEA
A few nights later, at least two people laughed at the scene where a young girl was molested by her father. Yeah, not so appropriate.

Best Movie To Watch Instead Of Eli Roth's Thanksgiving: BLOOD RAGE
My buddy Jackson has been telling me to watch Blood Rage for years, and upon learning that it was a Thanksgiving slasher, I finally agreed - and fell in love. I thought he was just trying to force some sort of "so bad it's good" type stuff on me, but this was a legitimately solid old-school slasher with some truly demented stuff going on, and the biggest bummer ending ever. If Eli ever gets off his ass and makes his film, the bar has been set pretty high.

Worst Movie To Watch Instead Of Eli Roth's Thanksgiving: THANKSKILLING 3
It's got impressive puppet work and an admirably go-for-broke plot that delivers plenty of insanity, but Turkie is sidelined in favor of the other new characters, and it barely even counts as horror anymore - more of a sci-fi comedy with a couple of brief kill scenes. I loved the first one, and had some fun with this, but I walked away disappointed that I wouldn't be adding it to the annual tradition movie list.

And that's it! Thanks for reading, folks! I hope these upcoming last few months are enjoyable for you all, and don't forget: HMAD may be ending, but I ain't going anywhere!

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HMAD Screening: CHRISTINE!

Being busy is nice, but not when it keeps me from giving you guys a proper heads up about the next HMAD screening! I like to have these announcements up at least two weeks before the date, but alas I've just been swamped this month.

But on the other hand, now you have less time to wait until I host a 35mm screening of John Carpenter's Christine (based on the Stephen King novel) at the New Beverly! It's THIS Saturday, April 28th! Personally I think this is one of his most underrated films (2nd only to In The Mouth Of Madness, which I've already hosted!), and always enjoy seeing it on the big screen. Not only does it assemble a terrific cast of great character actors like Harry Dean Stanton and Robert Prosky, but few actresses in horror are as lovely as Alexandra Paul in this film, so believe me - you want to see that face (and her awesome period sweaters) in glorious 35mm.

And if you're a charitable sort, there's even more incentive to go. The wonderful Julia Marchese, who you'd know instantly if you've ever been to the Bev, is looking to create a documentary about the theater and how they are fighting the good fight to keep 35mm alive, and would like to give the subject the respect it deserves with a professional (meaning paid) crew. So there's a Kickstarter set up for folks to pledge toward seeing it done right, and I encourage you all to donate - every dollar helps. But even if you don't want to directly donate, you can help just by coming to the screening, as I will be pledging one dollar for each and every butt in a seat when the show begins. So for many reasons (or two), I want that place packed!

As always, it goes down at 11:59 pm on Saturday night. The New Beverly is located at 7165 Beverly Blvd, 2 blocks west of La Brea, in Los Angeles (90036), and street parking is widely available. Tickets are 8 bucks cash at the door or online via BrownPaperTickets. I'll be on hand to do a quick intro and give out some DVDs, and hopefully a Q&A (not that he'd come to a late screening anyway, but Carpenter will be in Kentucky - however I am working on securing an actor, so cross your fingers!). And every ticket bought is a sign that you not only support me and my silly endeavors (not really important), but also the continued existence of superior 35mm presentations (very important) at independent theaters where the staff actually gives a shit (EXTREMELY important), unlike the chains. So come on down, enjoy a great killer car flick, and see movies the way they are meant to be seen!

As always, feel free to tweet/blog/facebook/etc this post and/or the poster below!

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DVXuser Monsterfest Winners!

A few weeks back, I was asked to be one of the judges for DVXuser’s Monsterfest short film competition. Time is short nowadays, however I was not only honored, but I also couldn’t pass up the opportunity to check out a bunch of short films (especially when I was asked by none other than Jack Daniel Stanley, whose short films at Shriekfest were a definite highlight of that festival) by upcoming filmmakers.

So I watched all 13 finalists, and enjoyed pretty much all of them. Of course I liked some more than others, but all 13 films were well-made, unique from one another, and largely entertaining. And while I had favorites, it wasn’t easy to put them in any sort of ranked order, which I had to do in order to submit my ballot so a winner could be determined among all of the ballot entries from the other judges (which included Denise Gossett of Shriekfest, Grudge screenwriter Stephen Susco, and other esteemed folks).

At the end of the day, the three big winners were Dispatch, Bits and Pieces, and Red and the Wolf, all of which were among the top half of my ballot, making my promise to review the winners all the more pleasurable. So, on to the reviews, and congrats to all of the finalists!

NOTE - as the films are only a few minutes each, it would be hard to discuss them without spoiling plot points. You can watch all of the films on the DVXuser site, so I recommend doing that prior to reading the reviews.

3RD PLACE: RED AND THE WOLF
This spin on Little Red Riding Hood struck a chord with me, as it follows a similarly circular plot that I devised for a short script I wrote in college, where the heroine turns out to be the villain and is apparently leading a succession of good Samaritans to their doom. Obviously, I like the central concept. It’s also pretty suspenseful - the middle of the film depicts a cross over a bridge, which has its own little surprise that ramps up the tension.

2ND PLACE: BITS AND PIECES
This one placed in my own top 3 as well. It’s a strange, oddly moving piece about a monster trying to find companionship, but ultimately gives in to his horrific nature. The set design and lighting are fantastic; even though it all takes place in one building, it has the most polished and “professional” look of all of the entries. And additional props to director/editor Justin Durban for doing the music as well, I dug the hell out of the score.

1ST PLACE: DISPATCH
The big winner! A woman makes a 911 call, and throughout the course of the piece we learn a. what happened to her and b. the real reason for her call. Lots of short films have twists, and even though I saw this one coming, it’s still one of the better ones I’ve seen in recent memory, and it works on a horror level as well as a darkly comic one. And “Noble O” tells his/her story almost completely without dialogue, trusting in his visuals (and traditional horror “rules”) to let the audience know what happened and why, which is laudable in and of itself. The monster makeup is surprisingly strong as well - it’s only on-screen for a few frames, which some filmmakers might use as an excuse to cut corners and put any old thing up on the screen, but that does not seem to be the case here. A fast-paced, suspenseful, darkly funny film all around.

I would also like to give a shoutout to Devon Lyon and his film The Tell, which is the first short I can recall ever seeing that included a full blown musical number. I love to be surprised, and let me tell you - I did NOT expect a showtune. It was a bold gamble, and while it didn’t win everyone over, it ranks as the single most unique entry of the bunch, and I eagerly await the next film from Lyon and his crew.

You can read more about the winning films and the prizes their filmmakers won HERE at the DVXuser site. Grats again to all entrants, and I hope to take part in future competitions!

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October Extras 2!!

Once again, October is upon us, and thus lots of horror fans watch a Horror Movie A Day to celebrate. Therefore, in order to stick out, I do something extra. Last year I rewatched movies I loved dearly (or hated dearly, such as Dark Ride). But as the month wore on, I got pretty goddamn sick of horror movies. So this year, in addition to my usual daily review, I will also offer 31 Non Horror reviews!!! That's right, 31 action, comedy, drama, etc films will be given the usual treatment.

The goal is to eventually have a review for every movie ever mentioned on this site.

So feel free to toss out some suggestions... I've picked many of the films already (including, yes, my first actual review of my beloved Armageddon!), but not enough for the month, so if there was ever a (NON HORROR!) film you wanted to see torn to shreds, or verbally fellated, let me know and I will consider them.

And Happy October (next week)!

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Transformers 2 Review

If you're interested in my long (and I mean LONG) thoughts on the newest spectacle from Michael Bay and his team of CGI wizards, feel free to head on over to my Bloody Digusting Blog. If you don't have two hours to spend reading more of my inane ramble than you already do here at HMAD, let me sum up: It's too long, it's missing the original's charm, and it spends far too much time with the humans instead of the robots, some of whom are better actors. But there's some fun to be had as well. I also want to point out that my 5/10 is the most positive review I've read for the film yet. Anyway, enjoy!

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HMAD Screening: CHILD'S PLAY

UPDATE: Director Tom Holland will be on hand for Q&A before the movie!

Dude. CHUCKY!

As I've mentioned before, the very first R rated horror film I got to see in theaters was Child's Play 3, and by the time the 4th and 5th films came around I had my own car and everything. I saw Child's Play 2 on 16mm on a friend's backyard projection a year or so ago, but I have never seen the original (and best) Child's Play on anything but DVD and VHS. So it's about time I took matters into my own hands... I'll be hosting a rare 35mm screening of it at the New Beverly!

I watched the movie again this week (Q&A prep in case a very special guest can work it into his schedule - cross your fingers!) and it holds up wonderfully: the FX are terrific, Tom Holland's well directed scares still work, and the balance between "Is it the kid or Chucky?" is still perfect even though we know the answer. And Chucky actually looks BETTER in this movie than he did in the later sequels, which just goes to show once again that there's no substitute for practical FX.

If you're an LA reader who has yet to attend a HMAD screening: you're a horrible human being. Hopefully by now this is unnecessary, but just in case: the New Beverly is located at 7165 Beverly Blvd in Los Angeles, two blocks west of La Brea. Street parking is available on Beverly and side streets (Formosa is best bet). Tickets are 8 bucks CASH at the door or online at BrownPaperTickets. And it all goes down Saturday, March 24th at 11:59 PM! See you there!

(p.s. feel free to post on your blogs, tweet, etc. The poster is free for everyone to use!)

PLEASE, GO ON...

HMAD's 5th Annual End Of Year Awards!!

JANUARY 24, 2012

GENRE: AWARDS!
SOURCE: ME!

I know, I’m super late with these. I’ve had some real life annoyances to deal with, plus some side jobs (I even got paid for one!), so it’s the sort of “extra” thing that kept getting pushed off and almost forgotten. So I apologize, but believe me – it’ll be worth the wait!

You’ve had enough ado, so I won’t further it: let’s celebrate the Best and Worst of 2011!!

(note – as always, these movies reflect the 365+ films watched/ reviewed for HMAD in the calendar year, NOT when they came out. If you want a more traditional list, head over to Bloody Disgusting.)

BEST MOVIE ABOUT THE PLAGUE: BLACK DEATH
One of the year’s best films, Christopher Smith’s (Severance, Triangle) men on a mission tale about a group of badasses (led by Sean Bean) seeking out a supposed “plague-free” zone was unfortunately given one of Magnolia’s weird “let’s put it On Demand before dumping it in 6 theaters” releases – it’s a gorgeous film that deserved to be seen on the big screen. But on the other hand, I’m happy someone picked it up at all; there’s not much overt horror, and anything that plays on religious fears can cause some trouble. It also has one of the darkest endings to a film in recent memory. Smith continues to impress – let’s get him a mid-level studio feature!

WORST MOVIE ABOUT THE PLAGUE: SEASON OF THE WITCH
There’s a lot of reasons to dislike Season of the Witch – it’s not particularly good, it confines all of its supernatural elements to the final half hour, and Cage is playing it straight for once, instead of “Caging out” and turning this into Medieval Wicker Man. But the worse was that it came out a few weeks before the infinitely more enjoyable Drive Angry, killing what little interest anyone had in Cage at that point. So this thing made nearly 30 million (still not impressive), while Drive Angry didn’t even hit 10. His next film actually more or less went straight to video, for the record. Let’s hope Ghost Rider 2 rejuvenates the public’s interest in one of our most entertainingly ridiculous actors.

BEST USE OF DANIELLE HARRIS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE: STAKE LAND
Despite being the biggest genre name in the cast, Ms. Harris doesn’t show up until around the halfway point of Stake Land, and then barely speaks for another 20 minutes. But she’s quite good in the film, well outside of her comfort zone in that she plays an expectant mother AND sings on-screen (something she is terrified of). Also, her genre history pays off in the film’s third act, which goes against what you might expect from the character AND the actress.

WORST USE OF HARRIS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE: CHROMESKULL
Can anyone explain what exactly Harris’ character is doing in the middle of a Laid To Rest sequel? She pops up as some sort of higher-up at Chromeskull’s company (you heard me), and is seemingly using ol’ Jesse to jockey for a promotion. Yes, because when you watch a Chromeskull movie, you want to see corporate intrigue. I assume they have more plans for her in future installments, but her scenes here just add to the sequel’s biggest problem – it’s called CHROMESKULL and yet the guy is kept on the sidelines for far too much of the runtime.

MOST IMPROVED SEQUEL: WRONG TURN 4: BLOODY BEGINNINGS
I LOATHED the 3rd Wrong Turn film, and so when I heard the same director (Declan O’Brien) was not only returning to direct but also write it himself, AND that it would be a prequel set in the snow, I figured this was the actual recipe for the worst horror movie of all time. But I guess all those negatives equaled a positive; while still far from the heights of Wrong Turn 2, this one delivered a lot of great (and mostly practical!) kills, a fast pace, and the most wonderfully silly climax in recent memory. Not a good movie by any means, but it hits the sweet spot for this sort of thing.

LEAST IMPROVED SEQUEL: SOMEBODY HELP ME 2
The original Somebody Help Me was the first movie I was given specifically for review on Horror Movie A Day, but I didn’t think too much of it, which is probably why they didn’t send me the sequel. But they made the right call; this is infinitely worse than its predecessor, with repetitious, kill-free plotting, obnoxious direction, and a killer who wears a mask in some scenes even though we know who it is (same guy as the original). Please don’t let there be a third, as threatened.

BEST MOVIE ABOUT JEFFREY DAHMER: DAHMER
Go-to franchise rejuvenator Jeremy Renner got an early break in this independent serial killer biopic (from the same company that gave us Gacy and all those others), and he’s pretty damn great in it. The movie doesn’t provide much context – it’s best viewed by those who are already familiar with the case – but the above average attention to detail and Renner’s performance make up for its low points.

WORST MOVIE ABOUT JEFFREY DAHMER: THE SECRET LIFE
Shot only a year after Dahmer’s arrest, this is like the complete opposite of Renner’s film – they provide a Cliff’s Notes account of the case sans any sort of insight, and tell the story via the lousiest collection of actors ever assembled for one of these things. Add in the constant, obnoxious voiceover and complete lack of detail (so many palm trees in Milwaukee!) and you have a movie that manages to be even crasser than the subject matter demanded.

BEST ASYLUM MOCKBUSTER: WHEN A KILLER CALLS
Not only is this infinitely better than the 2006 remake of When A Stranger Calls, I think it’s actually a bit better than the 1979 original as well (based on memory - haven't seen it since I was like 14, but I didn't like it). Like the remake, it keeps everything based around the first 20 minutes of the original, except here the body count is higher (nothing happened in the remake) and it’s surprisingly grim – not one but two kids are offed by our killer. And it even has a theme song, so I’m automatically in its corner.

WORST ASYLUM MOCKBUSTER: HILLSIDE CANNIBALS
I’m not as crazy about the 2006 Hills Have Eyes remake as many of my peers (it’s good, but the things they changed were for the worse, so just stick w/the original IMO), but it’s the friggin Exorcist compared to this thing, which doesn’t even come close to the very low standards of “OK for Asylum”. A straight up ripoff of the other movie would have been better than this, which kills everyone off in the first 10 minutes and then proceeds to tread water for the next 70. Ugly and boring, it’s the sort of movie everyone probably thinks ALL Asylum movies are like, when in reality it’s only like, half of them.

BEST MOVIE WITH A BAD TITLE: MANSQUITO
The title Mansquito sounds like something that would be made up for a comedic film making fun of 50s horror movies, but it’s a real movie from 2004 – and a pretty fun one at that! Taking cues from The Fly, we follow a slowly turning female victim, giving us the human drama that a good horror movie needs and often ignores. But, there’s also a fully formed Mansquito that goes around killing folks, so we still get a lot of monster action – it’s the best of both worlds! And then of course they fight at the end, which is always awesome. A shame more Syfy movies don’t follow this one’s lead.

WORST MOVIE WITH A GOOD TITLE: SHORT NIGHT OF GLASS DOLLS
Now, this isn’t a BAD movie, but that title is so damn creepy and weird; at the time I referred to it as “The Giallo-est title ever”. But they use it on a rather slow-paced, barely horror movie about a guy investigating his girlfriend’s disappearance. There isn’t even a killer per se, a couple of folks die but by different hands, and until the 3rd act it’s just pretty damn boring, honestly. And the title has almost nothing to do with the plot, making its misuse even more annoying.

BEST BATSHIT MOTIVE: CONTAMINATION .7
We’ve heard of nature strikes back movies like Long Weekend or Frogs, but this one goes the extra mile, with killer trees specifically going after loggers and such, seeking revenge against them for harming their habitat. By the time a cut down Christmas tree goes after someone in their own home, you can be assured that you are watching a truly inspired film.

WORST BATSHIT MOTIVE: BEAR
Since they used a real bear and no CGI, Bear could have been a decent survival thriller about folks fending off an angry bear if not for its jaw-droppingly awful script, topped off with a “twist” at the end in which we discover that the bear actually wants these people to atone for their sins (embezzling, infidelity, etc). And it’s played straight, as if anyone in the audience might go “Ohhhh… yeah, I GET it, man.” It’s almost worth watching just to see how straight they play this inanity, but the hateful, idiotic characters and repetitive, poorly edited action make that a hard sell.

BEST MOVIE ABOUT A RAPIST LANDLORD: SLEEP TIGHT
I couldn’t make any of the screenings of Sleep Tight (Spanish: Mientras Duermes) at Fantastic Fest, and had to opt for a screener viewing on my computer instead of one of the greatest movie theaters in the world, but in a way that helps clarify just how well this creepy thriller works. An ugly transfer on a relatively tiny screen couldn’t diminish the impact of Jaume Balagueró’s best solo effort yet, and I can’t wait to see it again – hopefully with a crowd, so I can amuse myself by watching them squirm as the plot unfolds.

WORST MOVIE ABOUT A RAPIST LANDLORD: THE RESIDENT
Even in the glory years of Hammer they produced some clunkers, but nothing was ever as bad as The Resident, a woefully stupid account of Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s disturbed landlord going to extreme measures to bang Hilary Swank, even though she seems into him. Featuring cinema’s all time most idiotic “let’s show you stuff from earlier in the movie now that it has a different context” montage, nonsensical character actions, and the total waste of Christopher Lee (he was treated better in the theatrical cut of Return of the King), this is NOT the sort of thing Hammer should be putting their name on as they try to get back into the horror game after a lengthy absence.

MOST TERRIFYING USE OF SPORTING EQUIPMENT: FINAL DESTINATION 5
Even detractors of the series often admit that the kills in the Final Destination movies are creative and enjoyably insane, and given that this is the FIFTH in the series, it’s sort of impressive that they can still come up with new ones. Even more impressive that it would have one of the series’ best – a typically Rube Goldberg-ian sequence centered around a gymnasts’ balancing beam that produces the most mangled corpse ever. There should be a Sniglet for my resulting mix of a laugh and a horrified groan.

LEAST TERRIFIYING USE OF SPORTING EQUIPMENT: STORMHOUSE
The climax of this already obnoxiously bad movie came down to a haunted fucking basketball bouncing around HARD in an attempt to make it scarier. Note – this was not played for laughs.

BEST NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD MOVIE: NOTLD 1990
Back in February I inexplicably decided to watch nothing but Night of the Living Dead related movies for the week (except for Rubber, which was a press screening that they refused to change for my sake), and most of them weren’t worth the effort. But Tom Savini’s remake (which I had seen as a kid) holds up fairly well – it’s not as tense or scary as the original, but it gets more right than wrong. And crucify me all you want – I prefer his ending to Romero’s (which is also his - George wrote the remake’s script, not Savini). And any movie that features an immolated Bill Butler can’t be too bad.

WORST NOTLD MOVIE: NOTLD 30th ANNIVERSARY
I bought this thing back when it came out in 1998, only to hear how bad it was before I ever got a chance to watch it. Thus, I vowed to hang onto it and thus keep anyone else from being exposed to it (the DVD is a limited release). However when I got this “Week of NOTLD” idea I realized the time had come to see for myself if it was really as bad as I heard. So I was surprised to see they were wrong – it was FAR WORSE than anyone had ever led me to believe. I’d comfortably call it one of the five worst movies ever made, in fact; the insanely misguided decisions that John Russo and the others (not Romero) made go beyond awful, where it’s not even funny to watch in the “Plan 9” way. When Russo croaks I hope they bury every copy of this piece of shit with him.

BEST ATTEMPT AT MAKING A JOHN CARPENTER MOVIE: ATTACK THE BLOCK
Joe Cornish’s debut succeeds in pretty much every area one could want from a film: it’s funny, it’s scary, it’s got terrific, crowd-pleasing action, and it moves like gangbusters – if there’s a dull moment in the film no one can remember it. And it’s knowingly inspired by no less a great than John Carpenter; the opening shot of the alien ship is a direct homage to The Thing, and the confined setting is right out of several of JC’s flicks. Plus, the protagonists are enemies on opposite sides of the law who are forced to team up to defeat their common enemy; which is straight up Assault On Precinct 13 (or, fine, Ghosts of Mars). One of my favorite movie-going experiences of the year – and the only film I paid to see a 2nd time.

WORST ATTEMPT AT MAKING A CARPENTER MOVIE: THE THING
For years fans have been scoffing – yet mildly intrigued – by the idea of a Thing prequel, showing what happened to the Norwegians even though we know that they’re all dead. However, constant attempts to make their film fit into Carpenter’s story (“SEE how the axe got into the door! LEARN the name of the guy who slit his wrist and froze!”) just make all of their missteps all the more obvious. The bad CGI is the most offensive, but I was more troubled by the lack of a single interesting or fun character. I’d pay handsomely for a Childs or Blair action figure; I couldn’t even tell you the names of any of the characters here. They should have just abandoned the prequel idea and made it a remake (which they sort of did, actually) – at least then we wouldn’t have to accept this Thing as part of the canon.

BEST INCOHERENT MOVIE FROM 1989: THINGS
Every even numbered minute of this movie will make you laugh or smile, every odd numbered one will make you shout “WHAT?”. Spider sandwiches, bizarre dubbing, a newscaster who seems to be reporting on plot developments that haven’t occurred yet… it’s just pure, insane bliss.

WORST INCOHERENT MOVIE FROM 1989: THE BLACK CAT
Most Italian horror movies don’t make a lot of sense, but even by their standards The Black Cat is a total mess. “Luckily” if you can’t follow a particular plot thread, it will probably get dropped and never mentioned again, since that’s what happens to most of them – it starts off as one of those “movies about movies” but ends with some sort of wizard battle involving planets. And I know that sounds kind of awesome, but it’s actually crushingly dull and shockingly low on gore/kills, which is probably why it remains relatively obscure despite some weird attempts to fit it into Argento’s Three Mothers series. P.S. not to be confused with Fulci’s 1981 Black Cat!

BEST MOVIE ABOUT SOLDIERS GOING NUTS: DEATHWATCH
I’ve heard about Deathwatch here and there over the years, and it’s been recommended by more than one reader – not sure what took me so long to get around to it. But it was worth the wait, upsetting and scary, with terrific performances by a mostly unknown (for 2002) cast, it’s the sort of movie that keeps me doing HMAD. Without the need to watch something every day, gems like this would continue to pass me by.

WORST MOVIE ABOUT SOLDIERS GOING NUTS: THE SQUAD
Hearing so many great things about Fantastic Fest over the years, I was under the assumption that no bad/generic movies squeaked through, but The Squad was obnoxiously starved for creativity, not to mention even basic scares or suspense. The only time I actually dozed off the entire time I was at the festival (regular readers should understand how much that means under normal circumstances – I was barely sleeping there!), and it wasn’t worth fighting to stay awake for the rest.

BEST HORROR MOVIE A DAY NEWS: MIDNIGHT SCREENINGS
For a while it looked like the Horror Movie A Day screening series at the New Beverly would come to an end due to some personnel issues at the theater, but as of April they have been resumed and even more frequent! And we’ve shown lots of great stuff, including Psycho II (with Dean Cundey in the house for Q&A!), From Dusk Till Dawn, Drag Me To Hell, and a sparsely attended but still glorious showing of The Descent, which is my favorite horror film of the decade. To everyone that has come to one or all of them – you are forever in my cool book. See you in 2012!

WORST HORROR MOVIE A DAY NEWS: NO MORE “EXTRAS”
Due to some staff cutbacks at my real job, I had to take on more work responsibilities. As a result, a lot of the extra stuff I liked to do – commentaries, “October Extras”, non-canon reviews, etc – had to be greatly reduced or eliminated entirely. I also wrote fewer full reviews for festivals I attended - there just wasn’t time for them anymore alongside everything else, because the time I used to spend doing extra stuff at work was now spent doing work (assholes!). It’s a bummer; I enjoyed giving you guys a little more than just the daily review (within reason; I never want to post “news” or interviews here), but alas, I just can’t do it anymore. I mean, look how long it took to get this up!

Of course, next month marks the amazing FIVE YEAR anniversary of Horror Movie A Day, and thus along with it the five year anniversary of daily horror watching (February 16th, 2007 remains the only missed day), so that’s pretty awesome. We’ll also hit some milestones within the genres (200th monster movie! 100th Italian horror movie!) and hopefully provide the same amount (if not more) of festival coverage – as always, money dictates those things so be sure to do all of your Amazon shopping HERE, or just hand me 100 dollars cash if you see me out and about! I also accept baked goods.

And of course, thanks for reading! Without you I’d be talking to myself even more than usual!

What say you?

PLEASE, GO ON...

HMAD Screenings: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2!

UPDATE: Schedule permitting, Caroline Williams ("Stretch") will be in attendance for a pre-show Q&A!

"E...X...I...T! Exit!"

That's just one of many quotable/awesome moments in Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, and if you're in Los Angeles on July 24th, you can experience them all on the big screen with 200 of your closest friends. Horror Movie A Day and Amoeba Music will be presenting a rare 35mm screening of Tobe Hooper's pitch black hilarious sequel at the New Beverly Cinema, and I must admit I am truly stoked for this one. Hell, I'm giving up free booze and gift bags at Comic Con to race back Saturday night to get to the screening on time! But it's totally worth it to see this underrated flick on the big screen. I'm working on getting a few special guests out for a Q&A, so cross your fingers! But as always, I'll have a few DVDs to give away (and possibly some Comic Con swag!), and it's also a chance for you to see me all without my beard (which I had to shave for a short film I am appearing in), so you don't want to miss it!

As always, tickets are available via BrownPaperTickets, or the night of the show at the door (7 bucks - cash only!). The New Beverly is located at 7165 Beverly Blvd in Los Angeles (90036), just a block west of La Brea. See you there!

PLEASE, GO ON...

Video Game Review: Lux Pain

It's been a while since I had played an RPG game. In the late 90s/early 00s it was pretty much all I played before taking a break from games. But since I got my Xbox in late 06 and became a reborn die hard gamer, I think Mass Effect is the only one I have completed, while also dabbling in Oblivion (and finally completing Final Fantasy VII on the PS1 - !!!). So I jumped at the chance to review Lux Pain, as it was an RPG for the DS, which was the perfect combination for my stint at jury duty (in which I would spend nearly three hours of the day sitting around waiting for court to resume).

Before I get to the meat of the review, I want to get something out of the way - this is not a game in the traditional sense. It's more of an interactive graphic novel; I estimate that nearly 90% of the game is simply reading conversations between the dozens of characters that populate the city where the game takes place. "Side Quests" - an RPG staple - boil down to talking to people that are elsewhere before continuing the main story (i.e. if you are supposed to go to the hospital, go everywhere else first and see what people are up to). While lengthy cut-scenes are a staple of RPGs, it's usually a pretty even balance between talk and action, and that is not the case here.

Luckily, the story that you will spend so much time reading is a pretty interesting one. Seems that there have been an inordinate number of suicides among younger folks, all of whom attend or have ties to the Kisaragi school. So your character poses as a new student in order to investigate. He has psychic powers, and can read anyone's thoughts once he extracts a "Shinen" (a sort of worm) from them using his mind (read: stylus and DS touch screen). As with all RPG stories, it's not as straight forward as it seems, and it's not too long before you realize the scope of the situation and how far-reaching it is. I was reminded of the Persona games on more than one occasion, not bad company to keep with (not to mention an example of the rarest of games: the horror RPG).

The nice thing about having such an in-depth story is that you will actually care about the characters. So many games today are so focused on action and showing off their graphics that they forget to make the characters memorable, and then when they die you won't really give a crap. I look at Gears of War 2 as a recent example: they bring in the brother of a guy who died in the first game, but damned if I can remember who the guy was. But here, when a major character dies about 1/3 of the way through the (roughly) 20 hr game, you will actually feel kind of sad about their departure. Likewise, when someone turns out to be a villain, you will more than likely feel guilty for not figuring it out sooner.

The gameplay elements are pretty narrow in scope. Basically, you are either searching for Shinen (use the stylus to "erase" part of the screen and uncover the worm underneath), or fighting monsters called Silent. These are, obviously, more exciting than erasing part of a screen, but can also be somewhat frustrating as well. There are three different types of battle (actually four if you count the rare ones that combine two of the existing types), all with their pros and cons. The one that is particularly grueling is the 2nd type, in which the monster puts up a little shield of sorts. In order to get rid of the shield and land an attack, you need to repeatedly tap the stylus on the shield until it breaks, and then slash away at the monster's now weakened spot. However, the shields don't break easily, and it's often that by the time you break the shield and begin your attack, the weak spot will disappear entirely, forcing you to start the process over again.

Worse, though, is that the game never explains how to do this or offers any sort of tutorial. In all my years of gaming, I can't think of too many other games in which reading the instruction manual is a requirement for understanding how to approach any of the gameplay elements. You pop in Halo, you know how to shoot and how to cover. But here, good luck understanding that you're supposed to "imprint a Shinen" or whatever just based on what's on screen.

Another weak spot of the game is the translation. Being a Japanese game originally, you can expect a few odd grammatical goofs or maybe a "there" that should be a "their", but Lux Pain's translation goes far beyond that. Words are just completely spelled wrong (taht?), apostrophes are thrown in at random (" gonna' " comes up a lot), and words are abbreviated or split hyphenated without any regard to common usage or syllable breaks (at one point, they literally split the word "clear" on a line, so one line ends in "C-" and the next begins "lear"). Worse, there is occasional voiceover, which is not only random (on more than one occasion, you will hear the voice for one side of a conversation, but not the other), but also often doesn't say the same thing that is on the screen. Some are minor and not really a concern (i.e. the text will say "Hi how are you?" and the voiceover will say "Hey, how are you doing?"), but other times the meaning of what is being said and what is written on the screen is completely different. It seems the voiceover is slightly more accurate and makes more sense, but the VO only accounts for about 5% (if that) of the total text in the game. Presentation is pretty important, and I wish Killaware had taken more care in translating the game - especially one so heavy in text.

One part of the presentation that works well is the music. There are a few different themes, and yeah during long conversations you might wish to mute it, but it's a good score nonetheless, and the voice acting is good as well. They've also done a good job with the character design. There are about two dozen important characters, and you will deal with most of them every day, in addition to about as many minor ones. All of their names are pretty similar (for example, in the span of an hour you will meet Ryo, Rui, and Yui), but everyone has their distinct personality and look. You will know who is being spoken about even when they're not around, which is a problem for some games, particularly overcrowded RPGs. The different locations are also unique from one another; you only see an interior and exterior for each location, but I bet after a few hours you'd be able to tell where you were simply from an unlabeled still from the game.

They've also managed to round out the game in a unique, gameworld-logical way. Rather than subject you to more conversations, you can also visit an internet cafe and read a messageboard about what is happening around town and how people feel about certain game events. You can also check your own personal email and watch a daily news broadcast for additional "fleshing out" information. Unless I am forgetting something, I am pretty sure you can go through the entire game without ever using any of this stuff, but it makes it feel more complete, and also breaks up the occasional monotony of talking to people around your school. As with all RPGs, some of the conversations are wholly superfluous (there's one 10 minute segment in a hospital where everyone reminisces about stuff that has nothing to do with the plot), so it's nice to take a break when there aren't any fights in the near future. As the game goes on, you fight more and more Silents, but it's still primarily conversing with everyone.

Ultimately, it's an ideal game for a long car ride or daily commute. The story is interesting, the characters are colorful, and the gameplay is fairly simple (again, once you read the manual). You can save anywhere (after a conversation is done), and you don't have to worry about getting killed if someone distracts you. The game is broken into 19-21 "episodes" (it depends on how you play through certain events), which run anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour or so, and each episode begins with a recap of what is going on, which is always appreciated. The translation errors and occasionally long-winded conversations (it's a few hours in before you fight your first Silent) may turn some off, but for everyone else, it's a story worth exploring.

What say you?

PLEASE, GO ON...