MARCH 14, 2007
GENRE: PREDATOR, BREAKDOWN, CRAP
SOURCE: DVD (STORE RENTAL)
Why are so many fucking movies named Prey? Didn't Sony try to sue Dimension for naming a moving Scream when they had a movie named Screamers (hey, that starred Peter Weller too!)? There's two "Prey"s already just this goddamn year.
This particular Prey begins, as many films do, with real footage of a zebra being eaten by a couple of lions. But what starts off as a decent ripoff of Cannibal (Holocaust, Ferox, whatever) soon turns into one mindless puddle of pee.
Never in 20+ years of horror watching have I seen such a stupid character as Bridget Moynahan's in this film. After finally getting their car started, does she bang a U-ey and head back to the main road? Nope, she drives straight, further into the vast nothingness, finally careening down a hill and breaking the car for good. And this woman is to produce 2030's NFL Rookie of the Year, Tom Brady Jr?
They also have at least two bottles in their car that can be used to hold water. Yet when they leave the car and find a source of water, more time is wasted while "something to hold the water" can be located. Nice writing.
The "POV" shots are hilarious too. We see things from the lion's eyes, and he's looking at possible victims... who are looking elsewhere. I know when I am in Africa about to be mauled by lions, I tend to look directly at them, not a few feet to the left. Hey guys, sometimes it's OK to look into the camera.
Also any film that casts Peter Weller is automatically given props. Any film that subsequently gives him absolutely nothing to do is automatically given a swift kick to the cock. His biggest moment in the film comes when he looks thru some binoculars. Go Robo!
It's almost worth watching for the annoying daughter's reaction to being offered some warthog to eat: "I don't eat any characters from The Lion King. Especially not Pumba." *
But it's not.
What say you?
*I'd like to point out that while I was watching the film, I was likely eating one or two characters from Finding Nemo.
I thought the movie was worth a. . . D+ rather than F. xD
ReplyDeleteQuite frankly, I hated the daughter so much and was hoping one of the loins would eat her. Anyway, the movie was pretty much bad, but I was slightly entertained in a way I can't explain - not that I'd ever sit through it again, though. But for money? Hm. . .