MARCH 25, 2007
This review will not contain any jokes about the lack of canine flashbacks.
Lots of folks are complaining that Hills Have Eyes 2 is the same as the first movie. And to them I say: have you ever SEEN a sequel? All sequels have the same basic synopsis: new folks come along and the same killer or killers as before kills them. Sometimes there’s a new location.
They’re also wrong, at least compared to many sequels. The first film (though not so much as the superior original) dealt with families doing what they had to do to survive. This is simply a bunch of people. They are supposedly an army (or marine, or national guard, I already forget) unit, but they have little to no real attachment to one another. Two or three of the guys give the ‘fuck you, I’m out of here, I’ll send for help!’ speech before eating it. Semper Fi! Or whatever.
Kudos to the Cravens and whoever got credit for directing it for casting not a single recognizable person in the film. At least, not recognizable to me. I must say I enjoyed the performances of the Tim Olyphant-ish main guy and the Kristen Wiig-ish main girl (who was also cute as hell). The rest: eh. Actually now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure one guy was on Smallville. Step up, or step down? Time will tell…
Probably a step up.
As remakes of sequels go, it’s not terrible, but it’s still pretty half-assed. But unlike the original remake, there’s no idiotic flag waving and “you created us!” nonsense, which is a relief. Here, the jingoistic elements are more subtle: one of the guys shoves his rifle into the main mutant’s head.
Hills III is set up at the end. Hopefully it will turn into Mind Ripper II by the time it comes out.
What say you?