MARCH 9, 2007
The first Cube is a solid low-budget film, and a must own for DVD fans. It was a simple idea executed almost flawlessly, there were some fantastic deaths for Paul Anderson to rip off, and the commentary track is one of the best I’ve ever heard.
Cube 2: Hypercube is also a low budget film. That’s about all it shares. Now it’s a complicated idea executed terribly, with absolutely no interesting death scenes (unless you count the two who die while spinning around and fucking, which is hilariously stupid as it sounds), and I wont even bother with the commentary. Life's too short to watch the commentary track on a movie subtitled Hypercube.
It makes more sense to just watch the ‘making of’ on the DVD than it does to watch the film, since it’s an hour shorter. Not only do they reshow the only good part of the film (the title sequence), but they explain everything that made zero sense in the film due to poor writing/directing. When you have to watch the “making of” in order to understand the concepts behind the film you just watched, you are either a complete idiot, or the filmmakers failed at their job. In this case, it’s probably both.
Hilariously, one of the writers is interviewed here, and begins everything by saying “In the original script by Sean Hood, the cube (blah blah blah) but then when Andrzej* Sekula came on he wanted (blah blah blah).” So what the fuck did you do, buddy? Why aren’t we talking to them instead?
Sean Hood also wrote (or rewrote, or was rewritten, I dunno) Halloween: Resurrection, which of course is the bane of my existence. I’d like to give him the benefit of the doubt, but he also wrote Crow 4. Crow 2 and Crow 3 are two of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. Crow 4 wasn’t as good as those. Stop ruining franchises, dude.
I hear Cube Zero is much better. The same folks tell me getting a hand job is better than getting your genitalia torn from your body.
What say you?
*Tom Servo: “That’s not a name, that’s a bad Scrabble hand!”