Bloodlines (2007)

DECEMBER 1, 2007


There’s a scene early on in Bloodlines that pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the film. We are introduced to two characters just about to finish up what appears to be some exhausting and amazing sex. The guy obviously climaxes, and then the girl begins to kiss him. He is upset by this, and pushes her off. Then they begin to discuss his desire to have a kid, and she offers to be the mother. “That's disgusting”, he exclaims, “You’re my sister!” Hey-O!

Shockingly, that’s one of the less redneck-y moments in this delightfully trashy film. Granted, I wasn’t expecting much class about a movie that combines Fight Club with your standard “rednecks trying to breed” movie, but Christ. We find out one of the captured women is actually another one of the bad guy’s sisters, and at one point he threatens her with “another assblastin’!”; the GOOD GUY constantly refers to his sister as “Baby girl”; and best of all, the heroes have little discern for human life, as they wipe out what seems like an entire town of rednecks in graphic ways, despite none of them really doing anything wrong other than watch the fights between the captured women. This is kind of upsetting; I’d hate to think going to see some foxy boxing would end up getting me gutted by a mute named “Bear”.

Speaking of the kills, while the aftermath is gory, there is actually very little onscreen violence. We see the knife or arrow flying, then there’s a cut, and suddenly the weapon is inside the victim, and we see the blood. According to the IMDb (and pretty much everything on screen) the film cost less than 200k, so that’s probably why, but I’d rather they hired 2-3 less anonymous actors to play assorted redneck fodder and put the money toward some simple prosthetics.

Strangely, the film is presented anamorphic, but retains the 1.85:1 ratio. Usually, 1.85 films are blown up oh so slightly to fill the 1.78:1 size of an HDTV, but that’s not the case here, resulting in a miniscule black bar at the top and bottom. It was actually kind of distracting, but I’m glad that .07 of film that I would otherwise be missing was retained. Also, there’s a strange flicker over a lot of the footage in the first reel. I’m seen a lot of film processing errors but nothing like that. Weird.

The cover would have you believe that this one is more dark and serious, but they are ‘lying’. This one is possibly one of the best “Get totally drunk while you watch it with your buddies” movies I have seen all year. The total lack of discern for human life, the rampant incest, and just general redneck tone of the whole thing is fucking astounding (Christ, even on the commentary, the director points out how "A 6 pack can get you pretty far in the South."). It’s terrible, yes, but in that special sort of way you just don’t see enough of these days.

What say you?


  1. Well you've made this sound great.Except it doesn't have a release date for this godforsaken island yet.Although IMDB does say it has a UK runtime of 91mins.Anyway if/when it comes out then its going on my list.As well well as weed,beer,gin,tobacco and all the junk food I can eat.
    I hope I'm not let down.Otherwise I'll have to borrow Nightmare on Elm Street 2 off my brother...which is hilarious on multiple levels and just ripe for watching under the influence of anything stronger than coffee.

  2. Man I wish you would post vidcaps from films like this.

    It is just this sort of movie that I run across in Blockbuster, find the cover interesting and turn over only to be dissapointed by lame drawings or "stylized" photos that want to hide the quality of the cinematography.

    These I usually pass by because I've been suckered too many times before...but I'm sure I'm missing some real "gems."

    Also, Brian, I didn't know how to contact you but we've recently updated ShortFilmTexas.Com into an entirely blog format. Pretty excited about getting it moving again. Anyway you could change the link on your page to (Please take notice that your site is THE only blog link on the homepage.)

    Thanks and another BIG THANKS for seriously creating one of the most consistently entertaining blogs I've ever read.

  3. If I made money off the site, I would buy the domain and pay for a host, at which point I would add more stuff like vidcaps... until then... :(

    Bloodlines looked decent if memory serves... other than that odd flicker I mentioned. It wasn't DV (maybe HD?) at any rate.

    And thanks for the kind words!!! I will update the link today.

  4. You have written the best and most honest review of this movie that I have yet to read. I was blessed enough to play the role of Hackford #14 (I get killed by Lyndsey Wagner's son after punishing Dawn for (I assume) killing my cousin, Shawna.) It is definitely a great flick to watch good and loaded, and for $200,000 total production cost, I think they did an alright job (on real film too).


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