Video Game Review: Dead Space

As much as I love my horror movies, it’s actually rare that I play a horror based game. Part of it is lack of options; my beloved Xbox360 has only offered an average of 2-3 games per year that are in the horror mold: the two Condemned games, Dead Rising, Alone in the Dark, and now Dead Space being the primary examples.

Oh, and there was Vampire Rain, but come on. No one counts that goddamn thing.

The other reason is that they never really scare me, which is what the developers spend most of their time trying to achieve. Instead of crafting a great story or interesting characters, they seemingly focus on “OK let’s have a big tentacle smash through the wall right here”, and I’ve seen enough horror movies to know exactly when a scare is coming. Condemned is an exception; the sound design and everyday locales (subway stations, a house, etc) provided a truly unsettling experience at times, because it was identifiable and based in some sort of reality. But Dead Space, like Alone in the Dark before it, never offers more than the (very) occasional jump scare; even during life or death boss matches I never felt truly terrified. Crazy homeless guys with bricks are far more terrifying a thought to me than a “Necromorph” or whatever the fuck.

So it’s not particularly scary. Is it a good story, with a plot you want to see unfold/see your hero succeed? Not at all. In fact, our hero is without a doubt the least personable in modern gaming history. The nameless drone in GTAIII had more personality than Dead Space’s Isaac Clarke, an engineer who never utters a single word throughout the entire game. The ending gives us a possible reason for this, but it’s flimsy at best, and I don’t quite buy it as an excuse for being mute anyway. Regardless of his situation, what kind of guy sees his girlfriend (that he’s there to rescue in the first place) and doesn’t even say “Yo”? As a result, I never really found myself truly engaged by the story (which is presented mainly via text logs and such; so if you’re not into reading, be prepared for a pretty story-free adventure). Honestly, as I reached the later levels, I didn’t really care if Clarke succeeded or not; my incentive to win was just to get the achievement points and rack up another “complete” game in my collection.

However, as an action/shooter in the vein of Gears of War (behind the shoulder view, similar mission goals), it certainly delivers gory thrills. The seven weapons you can obtain in the game are pretty fun to use (except for the flamethrower – does the damn thing EVER actually kill anything?), particularly the ripper, which is like the I Come In Peace CD weapon in gun form. I never grew tired of using stasis (slows enemies down to almost being frozen in place) and going apeshit with that thing, cutting each limb off in bloody slomo glory. And the difficulty is almost perfect; some things took a few tries, but I never felt that the game was being cheap, or that I was breezing through either (note – this reflects the medium difficulty).

But back to taking limbs off!

The game’s biggest (and pretty much only) original-ish idea is that merely shooting a monster in the head a couple times is hardly the best strategy (in some cases, it’s the worst), because it won’t even necessarily kill him. Each monster type (there are about a dozen) has a different weak point, and cutting that part off is your best bet to dispatch it quickly and with minimal ammo use (as in any survival horror game worth its salt, ammo is hardly unlimited, though it’s more plentiful than the earlier Resident Evil games). One guy has a giant hand; attack it too close, it will explode and probably take you out. Another has a disgusting sack belly that will unleash a dozen or so little critters that are tough to shoot (and will swarm all over you until you die or manage to shake them off). Then there are others that endlessly regenerate, which means you gotta use something besides what’s in your hand. In short – the enemy variety and strategic manners in which they must be dispatched are the game’s best asset by far, and almost enough to forgive the game’s low points.

Such as the repetition. There may be a dozen different enemies, but there are only like 2 or 3 different types of missions. Every level has you literally running in a circle (the ship has a tram service, so each level has you take the tram somewhere, do whatever, and then get back on the tram to go to the next place), and the mission goals never change: run from point A to point B to turn on something in room C, activate whatever that thing is in room C, and then run back to point A. A few of the later levels even have you running around the same areas you cleared in the early part of the game. There are occasional things that mix it up a bit (such as when you need to plant a beacon on a mini-asteroid and launch it out into space), but otherwise, be prepared for a heavy sense of déjà vu as you make your way through the game. Granted, you’re on a spaceship (albeit a massive one), so it’s not like a whole bunch of different locales were in the cards, but they could have at least designed it so that backtracking wasn’t so common; for example, at one point you have to go outside the ship, but only the one time. Maybe 1-2 other sequences like this would have helped give the game a little more variety in the visual department.

The game also could have benefited from simply opening up the entire ship and letting you solve its many electrical and structural problems at your own pace. Sure, there would still be backtracking, but it would feel more natural, and would also dull a lot of that “on rails” feeling. The game has almost zero story anyway, so it wouldn’t make much difference if you turned on the shields before or after you fixed the cargo lift.

Another issue is that the puzzles are way too easy. Again, a lot of them are the same (take out the battery that’s powering door X and put it into the slot for door Y comes up a lot), which doesn’t help matters. The only puzzle in the entire game that required some light brainwork was a bit late in the game when you’re being chased by one of those always regenerating monsters and you need to slide blocks around in order to make it from one end of the room to the other. Even the big bosses all have a pretty obvious weak spot (a giant yellow sack); it’s just a matter of lining up your shot and then dodging his retaliation attack. I’m actually pretty lousy at these games, but there was never a point where I needed to consult a walkthrough, which is, I believe, a first. After a while I was praying for an escort mission or even a timed sequence (both overused game clichés) just to mix it up a bit.

(Actually, to be fair – the final mission IS an escort mission of sorts, but it’s not a person, it’s a fucking rock).

To cap it off, there is little replay value. Once you finish it, you can start a new game with all of your upgraded equipment (the guns can be upgraded via “nodes” – it’s a concept that was used in BioShock, and even going back to Parasite Eve), which is kind of cool; the enemies never really get any more difficult as the game progresses, but it’s still satisfying to blow through the first couple levels with a maxed out gun you didn’t even have access to the first time around.

And of course, it’s impossible to get all of the achievements (or trophies, if you’re a PS3 person) the first time around, so if you’re an AP whore like me, it’s worth another run just to add another couple hundred points to your score (if you play the game on medium, you can get all but one achievement, which is pretty sweet; Gears of War, for example, only yields you about 200 or so for a medium difficulty playthrough). But there’s no other benefit to doing so – the story is too paper thin to benefit from further examination, and there are no “choices” to make during the game or even alternate paths to take to your goals. In short, apart from having stronger weapons, it’s the exact same game you already played, and the weapon upgrades don’t mean new ammo types or anything; they’re just stronger and faster (so the big change is that a guy will take 3-4 hits instead of 5-6). There are no multiplayer options either, and beyond new suits to wear, it doesn’t seem suited for downloadable content.

So basically, it’s a great rental, but for 60 bucks, EA didn’t really do anything to set itself apart from previous (superior) action horror games to warrant the cost, especially in a crowded holiday market (someone buy me Fallout 3!). It takes ideas from The Thing, Bioshock, Resident Evil, Parasite Eve (not to mention any number of space-set horror movies)... and doesn’t really add anything of its own. Even the dismemberment mechanic can be found in the Fallout games. And by now, you can buy all of those games combined for less money. Maybe if it came bundled with the comic and the prequel movie Downfall (which actually shows more effort in its respective medium), it would be a decent value, but otherwise, if you simply must buy it, you might want to wait until it gets marked down a bit, or else your sixty bucks will be spent faster than you can say Event Horizon.

What say you?


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Happy 6th Birthday, HMAD!

Six years ago today I started the never soon-ending task of watching and reviewing a horror movie every day of my life. Sadly, this will be the last birthday we celebrate, so let's make it a good one! I'm doing my part by seeing the new Chan Wook Park film Stoker as my movie for today, but you guys should... I dunno, have an extra dessert at supper? Ask your wife if she can bring a friend over for date night? I guess it's not really anything to celebrate. But hey, there it is. Six years of HMAD! Here's to six (weeks or so) more!

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Happy Birthday, HMAD!

If you've been counting, or just saw it on Twitter, then you already know that today, February 7th 2012, is the five year anniversary of the "birth" of Horror Movie A Day! The site came along a few weeks later, but on that fateful day I put in a "new to me" horror movie, and have done the same every day* since! I didn't really do anything special, but if you'd like you can head over to Badass Digest to check out an article I wrote about the best movies I've reviewed over the past 5 years that still haven't been given an official release in the US. You can also share your HMAD memories in the comments section, assuming you have any (I certainly don't). Whatever you do, just don't go back and read the earliest reviews, because they're awful.

As always whenever I hit a milestone here, THANK YOU! You guys are all great and I still get giddy seeing "New Comment" emails. Wouldn't do it if not for the continued support of the few hundred or so of you who come back every day. You = HEROES.

Now to find a movie for today!!!

*I missed one day. Screw you, February 16th, 2007!

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Halloween II: Director's Cut Differences

As before, I have compiled a list of the differences (or at least, the ones that I noticed) between the theatrical and DVD director's cut versions of a Rob Zombie Halloween movie, in this case, his even more polarizing sequel. Check it out HERE and let me know if you notice any other changes!!! (And, obviously, SPOILERS)

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Happy Birthday, HMAD!

Hey folks, we have reached another milestone - HMAD is 3 years old today! February 7, 2007 was the first time I watched a horror movie with the intention of doing so each and every day from then on. And as longtime readers know, I've only missed one day (Feb 16th, 2007) since. Wooo! Thanks again to all of you folks who regularly comment and check out the site (especially those who use the Amazon links ;) ), and here's to year four!

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P2 Interview

While you all patiently await my full review of P2, feel free to check out my interview with the stars, Rachel Nichols (who was also in The Woods, which means I should watch it again) and Wes Bentley (who was also in Ghost Rider, which, like I predicted in the review, is already eligible for a legitimate HMAD writeup because I can't remember a goddamn thing about it).

Anyway, head on over HERE to check out me checking out Ms. Nichols!

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I'm On TV Again!

Hopefully by now you've added Chiller to your cable lineup, because if not you will miss out on what may be their most satisfying special yet. Tonight (Sunday the 7th) is the premiere of Great American Slashers, which counts off your favorite horror heroes like Norman Bates, Leatherface, and (yay!) Michael Myers. Who will be #1? Who got left out to make room for the non-American Pinhead? How many times will I be bleeped??? All these questions will be answered tonight at 8pm eastern (5pm pacific), with a repeat airing directly after.

They'll also be showing the other Chiller specials after, and I'm in both of those a lot more than I appear in Slashers, where I seem to have left the building at the halfway point for some reason. BUT, in my place are the people who actually made the damn movies, which is a lot more interesting to the viewer I'm sure. Robert Englund, Jamie Lee Curtis, Derek Mears, Kane Hodder, Heather Langenkamp, and several more icons are all on deck this time around, which is a big step up from the first one (Decade's Scariest Moments) where they only had a couple of movie participants and thus had no choice but to give more screentime to schlubs like me.

But just because you won't see me saying much about Halloween (that one kinda stung - it's my favorite thing in the world and they didn't use ANYTHING I said!) on the special itself, doesn't mean I'll be completely silent on the matter. I'm sure most of you are on Twitter by now, and if you can deal with my rambling about Community and Mass Effect then you're probably following me (at @brianwcollins), so I got a bonus for you. During the 8pm/5pm airing I will live-tweeting the show with more insight and wisecracks, and probably making fun of my own contributions in the special, so keep Twitter nearby if you'd like to read along! But be sure to follow @chillerTV as well, as I will be making all of my tweets @ them so that my followers who aren't interested won't see them in their feed.

Speaking of which, head over to their official page for more info (and a few clips), as well as the schedule for when it will be airing again in case you can't watch tonight. And thanks again to Chiller for having me once again - I am honored to say that I've been in all four of their specials so far, and hope to continue doing so.

And look! This time I don't have a terrible hat on!

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Shocker!!!

After months of my hype, the Shocker screening has past. I would like to thank any HMAD readers who attended (including Kristian! Nice to meet you for .2 seconds! Sorry bout that). I would also like to thank Wes Craven, Ted Raimi, Richard Brooks, and Vincent Guastaferro for not only coming to the show at a late hour, but sticking around for the entire movie! That is incredibly rare. I've seen guests leave after their Q&A even for regular hour movies, so to stick around to watch friggin Shocker until 3 am is really awesome and hugely appreciated by both staff and attendees of the New Beverly Cinema.

I, of course, had a grand old time, embarrassing myself with both my wardrobe and my TMI stories in front of 150 people, forgetting roughly half of my questions (will forever kick myself for not asking what everyone thought of the soundtrack), and also forgetting to give away the soundtrack that I went out of my way to buy earlier in the day. Never said I wasn't a schmuck.

A much more flattering portrait of my hosting skills is available at my friend (and New Beverly regular - puts my attendance record to shame) Cathie's blog, please check it out and tell her thank you for letting me steal the following pic!

I hope to have future HMAD screenings at the Bev, so I'll keep you posted if/when they happen. Any movie suggestions?

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HMAD's 3rd Annual End Of Year Awards!!

2009 was a pretty great year for horror. Paranormal Activity kicked all kinds of ass, Zombieland became the highest grossing zombie film of all time (even with inflation factored in), and for the most part, R rated horror films outperformed their PG-13 competition. Unless, of course, you count New Moon as a horror movie, then 2009 sucked, since the goddamn thing managed to gross nearly 300 fucking million dollars, pretty much more than everything else combined.

Sparkly vampires and homoerotic werewolves aside, the only real downer about 2009 is that the Saw series got back on track in a big way and no one showed up to see it, with the film’s final gross not even equaling the opening weekend of the previous movies. That, and we STILL haven’t seen the release of (2007 HMAD entries) All The Boys Love Mandy Lane or The Poughkeepsie Tapes.

As always, we (me) here at HMAD would like to take a look back at some various highs and lows of the year, eschewing “top 10 movies” or “the worst film of the year” (which would be The Cell 2) type wrap-ups for more important categories, such as “The Best/Worst Films That Were Dumped By Lionsgate”. And again, this list is comprised of the 365+ movies WATCHED this year - not ones that were necessarily RELEASED this year. For that sort of typical thing, head on over to Bloody for my enforced Best/Worst lists.

Enjoy!

HORROR MOVIE A DAY’S BEST/WORST OF 2009!!!

Best Sequel That Should Have Sucked: THE DESCENT: PART 2
When I think about the first sequels to the all time greatest horror movies (Halloween, The Exorcist, Texas Chain Saw Massacre), the word disappointment frequently comes to mind. Not that I DISLIKE those films, but they fail to even come close to matching the heights of the originals. But I have to say, that is not the case with The Descent’s sequel, which takes an Aliens approach for the most part (Sarah has to lead a team back there to figure out what happened) - and succeeds at scaring the shit out of me all over again. With some super splattery death scenes and a surprisingly tense final act (which sees the return of another character from the original), I was a happy camper.
Worst Sequel That Should Have Been Great: THE GATE 2
This movie had the same writer and director as the original, and put the awesome nerdy best friend character front and center. So why is this movie so fucking terrible? Nothing about it works, and worse, it makes you actually utter the words “I miss Stephen Dorff”.

Best Movie I Managed To See In Theaters: THE NEW DAUGHTER
This film opened on I think 12 screens, had no advertisement whatsoever (I can’t even find a trailer on Youtube. I can find footage of me eating a canoli on Youtube, but I can’t find the trailer for the newest Kevin Costner movie.), and no one even knew it was coming out until the day before it did. Hell, I didn’t even know what it was about until it was revealed in the film itself. It starts off like a haunted house movie, starts to seem like a killer kid movie, and then ends up being a full blown monster movie! Plus: COSTNER. Awesome. Check it out on DVD (from Anchor Bay I am sure, who was in charge of its “distribution”)..
Worst Movie I Managed To See In Theaters: HOMECOMING
Like The New Daughter, this movie opened on a few screens and you had to go out of your way to not only find one, but to even know it was out at all. In fact, if not for the fact that Mischa Barton tried to off herself the night of its premiere, I don’t think I’d have even heard of it. After watching it, I fully understood Ms. Barton’s actions. I hope she recovers both her ability to cope with life as well as her ability to choose better fucking scripts.

Best Movie Everyone Hated: DEAD SNOW
Friends told me this was one of the worst movies ever, but I dunno what the hell they were watching. I thought it was a blast, and pretty creative - it’s a zombie movie that’s set up like a slasher for its first half. It also has some of the best gore gags in years (entrails, meet tree!) and, you know, NAZI ZOMBIES. A damn fun time.
Worst Movie Everyone Loved: SURVEILLANCE
I’ve been seeing this on a lot of the “year’s best” lists - what? It’s not a terrible film, but when the whole thing is built around a blatantly obvious twist (one that prevents anything from actually happening until the film’s final act), I don’t see how it can qualify as some sort of cinematic triumph. Let’s chalk this one up to “Well David Lynch is involved so it must be genius!” -itis.

Best Wish Come True: FRIDAY THE 13TH PART V (at the New Beverly!)
I asked for it in last year’s awards, and earlier this year, Phil and Amoeba were kind enough to show A New Beginning in the middle of a triple feature (with Final Chapter and Jason Lives). I was in enchilada heaven.
Worst Wish Come True: VACANCY 2: THE FINAL CUT
I’ve always wanted to see a prequel to one of these “People run afoul of killers who have been doing this for years” movies that showed the killers doing their thing for the 1st time. Unfortunately, the movie Vacancy 2 showed us just that, and proved what a fucking dull story it would make. My bad, everyone.

Best Anaconda movie: ANACONDA 3
Not too bad, as these things go.
Worst Anaconda movie: ANACONDA 4
What a piece of shit.

Best Movie Still Not Released: THE REVENANT
I saw this film in October at Screamfest, and while it went over well (not to mention had screened at Fantastic Fest the month before), I haven’t heard a peep about it getting picked up for distribution. Come on, studios - zombies are hot again thanks to Zombieland; snap this one up and get it out there while the iron is hot!
Worst Movie Still Not Released: ANIMALS
Please, Animals, stay buried. We have enough “so bad it’s good” movies already, we don’t need your nonsense adding to the pile.

Shit Title/Great Movie: ALIEN RAIDERS
That doesn’t sound like a Sci-Fi original movie - that sounds like the fake title of someone MAKING FUN OF Sci-Fi original movies! But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s a pretty kick-ass movie, with Tony Almeida AND C-Note trying to locate an alien (disguised as human) in a locked down supermarket. Lot of badassery, lot of great kills, and a lot of “Wow I can’t believe how good a movie called Alien Raiders is.”
Great Title/Shit Movie: OLD HAG
You see the title Old Hag, and you think “Sweet, a killer granny movie!” But nope, it’s a “Bunch of people in a warehouse sit around yammering on and nothing happens until the end and it doesn’t make any sense when it does” movie. And I hate those movies.

Best Movie About A Bunch Of Stranded Soldiers In The Desert Getting Killed By A Supernatural Entity: RED SANDS
Shitty effects and some obvious tinkering aside, there’s a lot to like here from the team that gave us Dead Birds, and I dug the old-school slow pace.
Worst Movie About A Bunch Of Stranded Soldiers In The Desert Getting Killed By A Supernatural Entity: THE OBJECTIVE
This one starts strong but gets repetitive real quick, and the ending is atrocious. Worse, the lead actor keeps narrating the damn thing for no reason, and each time he starts to speak, I liked the movie less.

Best Movie Featuring A Twilight Star: SUMMER'S MOON
Alice Cullen, né Ashley Greene, stars in this gonzo hybrid of Motel Hell and Taboo 2, with lots of icky incest and a human garden separating this one from the scores of other “Tie a girl up in the house until she pretends to suffer from Stockholm Syndrome and escape” movies.
Worst Movie Featuring A Twilight Star: THE HAUNTED AIRMAN
Even the most die hard Twilight fan I know (my wife) was bored by this snoozefest, noting that the part where Robert Pattinson got a sponge bath was the only part she liked (mine too, but that’s because it was being administered by his aunt. Hey-O!). But it has lots of raves from Twi-fans on the IMDb, which means that from now on, Hollywood producers simply have to land one of the cast members in order to get good notices for their shitty movies.

Best Q&A I Got To Moderate: SHOCKER
I had been dreaming of seeing Shocker on the big screen for years, so just to finally do just that would have been awesome enough. But getting to host a Q&A with Richard Brooks, Vincent Guastaferro, Ted Raimi, and WES CRAVEN (!!!) before the film was just divine. There’s some video online for you to enjoy, edited to remove all my nervous jibberish.
Worst Q&A I Got To Moderate: MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D
The Q&A itself was actually pretty fun, since Todd Farmer and Patrick Lussier are great guys and told some awesome/funny stories. But my goddamn subwoofer of a voice kept making the mic go apeshit (cue Will Ferrell “Ooh, hot mic! Hot mic!”) and I looked like an idiot in front of 300 people. Luckily, as usual, 90% of the friends who said they were going to go didn’t, so I only looked dumb in front of strangers who probably don’t even remember it.

Best Maskless Slasher: HOME SWEET HOME
Body By Jake Steinfeld stars in this, the only Thanksgiving slasher movie I know of, where he kills an entire family via electric guitar, car hood, and other offbeat implements. And he does it all in a grey t-shirt and black pants. Which means that for the first time ever, some dudes in the audience might have come to the theater dressed as the killer without looking like a moron as they waited in the lobby.
Worst Maskless Slasher: SORORITY ROW
I dug the movie for the most part, but I was PISSED that they didn’t make up for one of the original’s biggest flaws, which was not using the awesome jester mask more often. The remake actually goes the other way, and doesn’t give the killer a mask at all! He just wears a druid robe for some reason. Perfect opportunity to finally put a jester mask to good use, and they blow it as badly as conceivably possible.

Best Movie I Saw Solely Due To My Attraction To The Female Lead: UNDERWORLD 3
Not being a big fan of the first two, I could have easily waited until DVD to see Underworld 3, but Rhona Mitra deserves to be seen in as big a format as possible. And even when she wasn’t on-screen, I found this one to be largely enjoyable, with some actual werewolf action (sans machine guns) and a far less convoluted plot than the others.
Worst Movie I Saw Solely Due To My Attraction To The Female Lead: WHITEOUT
There are actually a number of films that caught my eye primarily thanks to the comely female lead, but Whiteout is easily the worst because A. Kate Beckinsale is hotter than any of them and B. it’s one of the least interesting movies I’ve ever seen. I was bored even when she was doing her heroine thing. Only good thing that came out of this movie? It allowed me to eat Ms. Beckinsale’s fruit.

Best Movie Lionsgate Didn’t Let You See: BLOOD CREEK
Joel Schumacher’s Nazi/supernatural siege movie isn’t perfect, but it’s much better than anything else he’s done in the past fifteen years (I haven’t seen Tigerland yet though, I hear that one’s pretty good) and it’s one of the year’s more original movies to boot. I had to drive 40 miles to see it in theaters (at a place so rundown that the ticket counter and concession stand were the same thing), but it was worth it. Plus there was a Gamestop next door selling the awesome Stage Kit for Rock Band for like 30 bucks. Win-win.
Worst Movie Lionsgate Didn’t Let You See: THE HORSEMEN
This one didn’t even play in LA! Dennis Quaid deserves better - but he deserves better scripts even more. “You haven’t been in my room for three years!” would be one of the most oft-mocked lines of dialogue in film history if anyone had actually seen the goddamn thing in the first place.

Yay! Hollywood: A HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT
I thought the “real” version of this case would be even better than the above average THE Haunting In Connecticut, but it’s a total snoozefest, and the scares are botched to boot. And it actually manages to make less sense than the dramatized version.
Boo! Hollywood: QUARANTINE
A shot for shot remake of a film that was effectively buried until this one was long gone from theaters, with even minor characters played by recognizable actors in a film that’s supposed to be “found footage”? It’s a fun enough flick, but an incredibly pointless one all the same.

Best Movie Called Campfire Tales: CAMPFIRE TALES (1991)
This low budget oddity actually has a better than average ratio for anthology stories (3/4 are good) and a healthy smattering of gore to boot. Add to that a pretty informative commentary by journalist Mike Watt, and you have yourself a surprisingly decent disc.
Worst Movie Called Campfire Tales: CAMPFIRE TALES (1997)
Only one story is any good, and the whole movie is a PSA telling you not to drink and drive. But its rated R, so the 15 year olds who need to be told such a thing can’t see it until they’re 17 and have already driven drunk, fucked up their mother’s car, and learned their lesson the hard way.

Best Reason To Add Documentaries As HMAD Entries: BEWARE THE MOON
Paul Davis’ kickass and thorough look at American Werewolf In London is one of the best docs I can recall about a single film, and unlike the otherwise stellar His Name Was Jason doc, the people who talk about the film were actually INVOLVED with the film.
Worst Reason To Add Documentaries AS HMAD Entries: MICHAEL LIVES
I spent the better part of the day watching this goddamn thing, and I didn’t come away with anything I didn’t already learn in the 10 minute EPK clip on the previous DVD. Lacking insight, reflection, or even basic honesty, it’s an exercise in patience and nothing else, and Rob Zombie and co blew a perfect chance to defend/explain their controversial film.

Best Reason To Keep Doing This: DISCONNECTED
One of my favorite experiences of the year would not have occurred had I not been watching any old horror movie at random every day. It played in a little community center in Echo Park (a city I’d just assume never set foot in) and it was so under the radar that even the expert movie gurus at the New Bev had never even heard of it. But what a delight it was; a WAYYY low budget expanded student film that bears the distinction of not making any sense despite the fact that nothing actually happens throughout the entire thing. Tommy Wiseau ain’t got nothing on this gem. Seeyabye!
Worst Reason To Keep Doing This: STRANGELAND
I had managed to go over ten years without ever seeing this movie, and thus retained nothing but positive thoughts of Dee Snider. But one day at Blockbuster it was the only thing I could find that I hadn’t already seen. And now, I look at Dee and see not the frontman of Twisted Sister, but the guy who made one of the worst serial killer movies of all time (and trashed several great horror movies - such as Scream - while doing it).

Best Filmmaker Response: Paul Moore
If you would have asked in 2007 or 2008 who I’d be most afraid to meet, I’d probably say “The director of Dark Harvest”, as it was one of my more vicious reviews (as was my review for his followup, Keepsake). But he approached me at a party for Screamfest (where his short film Leftovers, which I quite liked and had reviewed a few days before without even realizing it was the same guy) and introduced himself, thanking me for the Leftovers review and joking about my Keepsake review. Thus, Mr. Moore is a class act (I woulda punched me in the fucking face).
Worst Filmmaker Response: Mike Feifer
Feifer found my review of his Ted Bundy film and commented, and instead of defending himself as a filmmaker, or addressing my concerns with some of the story gaps, he merely whined about how little money he has to work with and then boasted that they have all been bought by major studios (or, one - Lionsgate, who will buy 90 minutes of me running around with a screwdriver if the price is right). Since that is precisely what I don’t like about the guy (that he makes films on the cheap to sell for profit and no other reason), I think he should have just kept quiet and let me go on thinking that he wasn’t aware of the site (especially when I actually enjoyed Bundy, something he seemed to have missed).

READER POLL AWARDS!

Best Wide Release: MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D (Runnerup: Drag Me To Hell)
Best DTV/Limited Release: THE HILLS RUN RED (Runnerup: Grace)

Well that’s a wrap, folks. The third year of Horror Movie A Day has come to a close. HMAD hit a lot of milestones this year (one million hits, 1000 reviews, the start of my hopefully long series of screenings at the New Bev), and I hope you all stick around as long as I do!

Happy New Year/Decade!

BC

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London Photo Blog!

Ordinarily, I would have just uploaded these pictures to twitpic with the appropriate comment. But for some reason my rental "global phone", which was doubling as my camera, wouldn't let me copy the pictures from it onto my hard drive without software, nor did I want to pay a data upload charge just to make fun of Justin Bartha or provide the world with the 9 millionth amateur photo of Big Ben.

Plus, after all, this IS my blog, right? Uploading photos of one's vacation is a blogger tradition that dates back to 2002 or whenever blogs became popular. So here you go, my London Journey, via hastily taken, poorly lit photographs! Enjoy!

(NOTE - Click to enlarge any image)

One of the "cultural differences" I found most fascinating is how much London loves its ice cream. B&Js is an American company and I've never seen a vending machine devoted to them, yet this was located pretty much right off the airplane (I saw this before I even saw a coke machine!). Plus all movie theaters had large selections of frozen treats, whereas here we might get those frozen Crunch chunks and that's about it. There were also ice cream shops pretty much on every corner.


This is the line at customs, which was long enough to keep me from seeing the first 10 minutes of Hatchet at the Prince Charles Cinema, where Adam Green was showing it, along with E.T. (!), as a stage-setter for the premiere of Hatchet II the next day. This was my first time traveling outside of the country (I hadn't even signed my brand new passport, the guy at LAX had to tell me to do so), so this was all new to me. And annoying. Come on, I just want to watch horror movies! Oddly, I was checked more thoroughly upon returning to the US.


So because of the double-decker buses, they need to have these signs about low-hanging trees, even though they don't look particularly low. Someone who came along before me apparently also felt they were a bit pointless and worth mocking (see 2nd image closeup).


A couple of shots of Piccadilly Circus, which is where the American Werewolf (in London) carried out the bulk of his rampage. I had gone there to visit Lillywhite's, a sporting good store that came recommended via twitter pals after my backpack zipper broke while carrying it and my luggage up a wet, 195 step spiral staircase the night before. Nothing broke, thankfully. And let's assume that the kind woman who helped me pick everything up and get it up the rest of the stairs without further incident is an avid HMAD reader - thank you, kind lady!!! That was the 2nd thing that struck me about London, actually - people there were very polite and nice, at least in my experience.


My first experience with the local cuisine!


A couple of shots of everyone rushing/cramming in for the premiere of Hatchet II! I believe it was due to a misunderstanding that I had done the opening titles, so they didn't want to miss them. Sorry guys, I did the ones at the end! I took a picture of that too (on my credit for doing the end titles - META) but it's too blurry to bother uploading. See it for yourself on October 1st!


Weirdest thing about London - Justin Bartha is apparently a marquee draw? What the hell is this movie?


This was a salon/cafe next door to my hotel. I tried to get a picture of the rat that I saw scurrying about (while they were closed for the night), but he hid under a counter. So I took a pic of the storefront instead. Therefore, if you're ever in London, on Holborn St, do NOT eat/get a haircut there. Because they have rats. My hotel, for the record, was ridiculously clean. I was sort of expecting a dump, considering how cheap it was (US$50 a night!), but it was very nice, comfortable, and came with a HUGE free breakfast. The concierge also helped me find the Prince Charles on my first night. I was very happy with my stay at High Holborn Hall.


Frightfest ended on August 30th, but my flight back was on Sept 1st. So I had the 31st to finally go around London and see stuff beyond the path from my hotel to the Empire Cinema. But of course, my idea of being a tourist is seeing other horror related stuff, so I set out to visit the London Dungeon, which is a museum/amusement park hybrid. But as I got off the tube, I was approached by a barker for the London Bridge Experience/London Tombs, which was a. cheaper, b. closer, and c. voted scarier. I'll just have to take their word for it on the latter, as I didn't find it particularly scary, but it was a good time. Still wish I went to the Dungeon though, since that had a boat ride and other sitting activities, and this was just a nonstop walk-around (I was pretty exhausted). Next time, Gadget...


The marker for London Bridge and an accompanying view from it. Here's the thing about bridges - they're more interesting when looking at them from afar, not being on them. Oh well. It didn't fall down or get transported to Arizona while I was standing on it, so there's something.


I like to imagine lazy parents telling their kids that this is Big Ben.


If you know me, you know how tickled I am by the word "ham". So this was a delight. I didn't go there, just risked getting robbed on the Tube while I took a picture of the stop marker on the Tube map. Speaking of the Tube, it's possibly the best designed subway I've ever used. Non confusing layouts despite a huge number of lines and stops, crystal clear announcements that even tell moron tourists like me where to get off for specific tourist stops, and plentiful LED displays that told you how long it would be until the next train (which was never more than 5 minutes). I've had more problems getting around in the city I lived in (Boston) than the one I just got to.


The Eye! I really wanted to go on, but it would have been close to 50 US bucks to do so, and I was by myself so it probably wouldn't have been particularly exciting. But it's a sweet looking Ferris Wheel, no?


We have taco trucks.... they have pancake trucks. Mmmm.


"Hey kids, look! There's Big Ben!"


"And there's Parliament!"


A couple of shots of Buckingham Palace, where the Queen lives, and works (she queens. And vacuums). This was probably my biggest disappointment about the whole trip, as I discovered that the guards are no longer out on the street, so you can't try to make them laugh or whatever. My guess? Someone made them laugh and their whole shtick was called into question.


The English do NOT fuck around when it comes to barbed wire.


I know it was in Paris, not London, but this still reminded me of the tunnel from Irreversible. Here in the states, we don't often have anything helpful like this to prevent us from getting run over. Plus side, we don't run as big of a risk of being raped in the middle of the street.


You might have to enlarge this one to see what made me laugh. Also, never follow them to a second location.


As I have probably mentioned here before, I'm a big fan of the movie Notting Hill, so of course I went there hoping to run into beautiful actresses or pick up the new John Grisham thriller at a travel book store. But I couldn't really remember anything specific about the movie to take a picture of, and I later learned that the famous blue door has been sold and replaced with a black one, so this picture of a blue door is entirely worthless. So I took a pic of the tube station sign just so I could prove (to myself) that I was really there at all.


The theater front for "Ghost Stories", which I went to with some friends on Tuesday night. Co-written by and co-starring Andy Nyman (the dude who had a nasty run in with a bear trap in Severance), it was a really good, funny, and yes, scary (I jumped twice!) play about a few different stories of supernatural occurrences. Nyman plays the "host" of sorts, who introduces the story and then comes back to explain how it could be supernatural, but also provides a rational explanation for each one. It was really unique for a play, and it all tied together in a very satisfactory way. Definitely worth checking out if you're in London, but I hear they are planning a New York run as well.


My hilariously half-assed notes for the film The Dead. I meant to put this in the review itself, but I forgot.


Not counting a few pub shots taken by others, this is the only photo of myself I got the entire time I was there, something I realized on the tube back to Heathrow. And thus of course, I took one with pretty much the most non-descript and uninteresting part of London behind me. I might as well be in Lowell, MA.


The Pac-Man maze-esque seats on the Tube. This was the only time in all the times I rode on it that I actually had a seat.


My final London eatery was this airport joint called Eat. I liked the boldness of that, a name of a place that doubles as directions for what to do there. I lucked out, the guy put in my order for an iced coffee but forgot to charge me for it. He realized his error and just shrugged, giving me one final opportunity to say "Cheers". But this act of kindness prevented me from being a smartass and asking him if they owned a brothel and if so, what did they call it? Also, I forgot the European obsession with mayonnaise (which I hate), so my BLT wasn't particularly enjoyable. Luckily, Virgin Atlantic fills you up on a daytime flight - I got sausage, a wrap, a cheese sandwich, plenty of drinks, and two desserts on my flight, all for free. Score!

So that's a very incomplete, largely uninteresting look at my London trip. Since I was by myself for most of my non-movie watching time and my phone (camera) was always dying, I didn't get to take as many pics as I would like (this is pretty much all of them). But rest assured, I had a grand ol' time and cannot wait to return next year.

And once again, I want to thank my mom for the best Christmas gift (the plane ticket) since my beloved fleece, my sister for the passport and several helpful travel tips, and my wife for organizing the fundraiser website which brought in enough to cover my hotel! And thus in turn, thanks to all who donated - it truly wouldn't have been nearly as enjoyable a trip without your support. And a final thanks to all the folks on Twitter and the Frightfest board (plus a few emails) who provided all the tips about HHH, the Phoenix, etc. I had a wonderful trip thanks to you, as otherwise I probably would have been sleeping on the subway and eating pigeons. You are all the best people in the world!!!

Cheers!

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Scream Blu-ray Set - NOW AVAILABLE!

Hey folks, hitting Blu-ray today from Lionsgate is a great set that features the first three Scream films as well as Still Screaming, Ryan Rotten's great doc about the "original trilogy" (there's also a doc that only covers the first film, haven't seen it yet). From what I understand these are new remasters of the films, and while it doesn't include Scream 4 (coming from Anchor Bay), it should pretty much be the definitive set for a long time as I doubt the Gate and the Bay will play nice and put all of the films together anytime soon. Plus, it's only 20 bucks via Amazon, which is a bargain just for the first film and Ryan's doc alone. You can get it in regular stores as well, and if you're in Los Angeles, tonight (Tuesday the 6th) at the awesome Dark Delicacies there will be a signing featuring Ryan and some of the Scream personnel. So if you're a fan or haven't yet entered the world of Woodsboro, I highly recommend it.


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Halloween Convention Wrapup

As you may know, I was one of the guest moderators for the Halloween: 30 Years Of Terror convention in Pasadena, which occurred Oct 31-Nov 2. Being my favorite film franchise, I would have gone to the thing whether I was hosting or not, so to be on the “inside” was a real nerd highlight for me. Anyway, just thought I’d post a few thoughts about it, if you were interested.

I missed Friday’s activities, due to my real job. I guess there was a pretty long tour of filming locations, and also a screening of the original. I’ve seen a lot of the locations, and I just saw the film in the theaters this past June, so I didn’t lose sleep about it. Still, both things are pretty awesome for fans who flew in from around the country (and a few from other countries) who don’t get to take such things for granted.

Saturday was the first “full” day of the con, and it was pretty packed. You had all the celebs doing their signings, nonstop panels, a big party... lot of stuff going on. Unfortunately, a lot of it wasn’t really for me. I don’t pay for autographs (why should I give someone 20 dollars to sign my own DVD that’s just gonna sit on a shelf? I know I met them; if someone comes over and demands proof that I met Scout Taylor Compton or Brad Loree, I’ll deal with it then), but I’m of the minority, so even going to say hello to some of the guests meant standing in long lines. Luckily, many of them I got to talk to on (or back) stage or have talked to in the past; the only real regret was never getting to chat with Leo Rossi. Relentless for the win!

The only panel I did Saturday was for Halloween 4, which meant a lot to me, since it was the very first one I ever saw. Unfortunately, the only people on the panel were actors and stunt guys, who are always the hardest for me to ask questions to. A director or writer I can ramble with all day, but when it comes to actors I’m always coming up blank beyond the usual nonsense ("did you do your own stunt in scene X", "how did you get involved with the movie", "how was director Z to work with..."). Also, I had no chair, and I kept thinking I was blocking Erik Preston (young Michael) as I awkwardly stood to the side and tried to avoid knocking over any pumpkins. Still, the audience had some good questions (save for one moron who asked about fans getting weird with the girls; he should know that Danielle DID have a stalker “fan” that kept her from doing these things for years. Luckily, Ellie Cornell stepped in to answer and we moved on to the next question) and I got to tell an abridged version of my “Halloween 4 broke my arm” story, so there’s something.

The party was a blast, once I had a few. We had to pay for drinks, but since the con was free and I didn’t find anything to buy, I was able to use the money I figured I’d spend at the con for drinks without too much concern. And towards the end of the night we got a few drink tickets, so woooo! Not a lot of the Halloween folks came, but Derek Mears, aka the new Jason, aka the nicest man in the entire world, was there, and even though I have my hobo beard, he remembered me. And I got to pal around with Uncle Creepy, who lives in San Diego, so I only see him every couple of months. Also: CHOCOLATE QUESEDILLAS! I also got to talk to a guy who had a kickass Loomis costume (he even shaved his hair to match Pleasence’s!), and gave a drink ticket to a guy wearing a Halloween III shirt (the least common shirt from the 9 films, sadly).

It was after the party that things got surreal. First, about 20 of us spilled into an elevator, which of course got stuck. The doors opened an inch or so, and three of us inside tried (and failed) to pry it open. Then, as if called by the ghost of Moustapha Akkad, Don Shanks (Michael from H5) appeared on the other side, and deftly opened the door as if it was two sheets of paper. This led to a resounding chorus of DON SHANKS! as we made our way over to the hotel for an after party or two. Along the way we spied an ice rink which was stupidly left open, so an impromptu snowball fight broke out. Then we ended up in the room of Halloween franchise guru Malek Akkad (Moustapha's son) for a few minutes, before Ken Foree himself herded everyone out. And this was the highlight for me; if I could tell my 9 or 10 year old self that the guys whose movies I was watching would be kicking me out of their hotel room, I’d... well, I’d probably be a bit confused what that meant.

Sunday was the key day for me, as that was when the HALLOWEEN III panel was set to occur. I basically told Sean Clark (who organized the whole con) that I’d only do Q&As if I could do III, so he obliged. I called out Tommy Lee Wallace first, and since I had a chair this time, I got to chat side by side with him about this masterpiece of mean spirited Halloween glee. Tom Motherfuckin Atkins was on the panel too, and got him to talk about my favorite part (when he ditches his kids to drink beers with the girl he just met). Stacey Nelkin was also there (her first con ever, from what I understand), so that was great, as she offered some insight no one has probably heard yet. Wallace told a lot of great stories about the shoot and the trouble with marketing it, and I also got him to sing a line or two of the Silver Shamrock theme. And, unlike a certain other director who I got to share the stage with, he actually seemed like he wanted to be there, so I was in horror geek heaven.

Right after that was the panel for Halloween 6, for which I shared hosting duties with Uncle Creepy. There were a couple of cancellations, but it was still a good panel, thanks mainly to Dan Farrands, who told some hilarious/sad stories about dealing with Dimension on the film and also pointed out that Joe Chapelle (often blamed for the film’s failures) wasn’t really the bad guy in the situation, just caught in a bad position. He also said that Anchor Bay was interested in releasing the producer’s cut, should Dimension/Disney ever give up the rights. I have problems with both versions, but I’d be happy with a goddamn anamorphic transfer. He also told a good story about Paul Rudd waiting outside of a theater (where he was performing in a play) for a fan to bring him a copy of the P-cut, which is pretty awesome. I would have loved it if Rudd could come (and even moreso if Marianne Hagen showed - had a big crush on her when the film came out), but oh well.

And that was the only real bummer about the weekend: the lack of top tier guests. With the exception of Wallace, NONE of the directors for the films were there, and the only screenwriters were Farrands (6) and Robert Zappia (H20). Also, other than Atkins, Harris, and the people from the remake (no Malcolm or Sheri, but pretty much everyone else), none of the film’s leads were there. Donald Pleasence is obviously out of the question, but Jamie Lee, Lance Guest, Beau Starr, Rudd, Hagen, Mitch Ryan, and the ENTIRE casts of H20 and Resurrection were MIA. Tyler Mane and Nick Castle, arguably the two most “memorable” in the role, were the only Michaels not present as well (well, Castle popped in, but refused to join the panel, or sign/take photos with anyone, which makes me wonder why he showed up at all). I can see not doing a Fangoria or whatever, but it’s a convention for a specific franchise – I was hoping more of the people directly responsibly for that franchise would show up and celebrate it with the fans. Then again, the people that were there seemed to genuinely appreciate their role in the franchise, and except for Nick Castle, loved talking to the fans, so I’d rather them than some stuckup yogurt eating broad anyway.*

Also, I want to give huge props to Daniel Roebuck**, who signed for EVERYONE who wanted his autograph, for free, not just the gold VIP members (also Bradford English, Dan Farrands, Malek Akkad, and (I think) Robert Zappia, who signed for the VIPs and possibly more, not sure, also free). Everyone else was charging, which I think is a bummer. BUT, I will say – no one forces people to fork over their cash, so if people are willing to pay for it, more power to them. I just remember going to Fango cons from 1998-2002 and getting all of the autographs I wanted for free, and then all of a sudden it was the norm to charge 10 or 15 bucks (and now 20). Nowadays, the only autographs I collect are from the directors of Fango “cover movies”, and luckily, directors don’t usually charge. Speaking of which, I somehow DON’T HAVE the Halloween III Fango, but Wallace signed my Fright Night 2 issue, so I was happy. John Beuchler, who directed Cellar Dweller (somehow that got a cover, but his F13 sequel, New Blood, did not?), was supposed to show, but didn’t, so I carried that one around all weekend for nothing.

All in all, it was a good con. My love of the franchise kept me entertained the entire time, which is more than I can say for some other horror cons I have attended recently. I wish I got to talk to more fans, because I love talking the movies (obviously) and it’s probably the only time I can guarantee I’ll be talking to someone who knows who Ted Hollister is or knows how many miles it is from Smith’s Grove to Haddonfield. Again, I just keep thinking back to all my childhood memories of seeing these movies for the first time (I can distinctly recall my first viewing for each film in the series), never in a million years thinking that some of those people would someday know me by name. Bring on the 35th!

P.S. If anyone reading this attended the con and took pics, PLEASE send any you may have of me on the panels, particularly III. I was obviously busy during those so as of right now I have no photos to show my friends back home. They think I’m a liar!

* I met the former Laurie Strode once... not my favorite celeb experience.

** Backstage, I got to talk about my Navy NCIs episode with him! He was the big guest star in the episode in which I extra’d in. That was awesome.

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RIP Uncle Forry

This is a bummer, but at least he went peacefully and gracefully after a long career. In a way, any horror or sci-fi fan owes at least some gratitude to the man, even if you've never read a single issue of Famous Monsters Of Filmland or taken part in any of his other endeavors. He will be missed, but perhaps more sad a fact: there will never be another soul to embrace and also elevate the genre as much as he did.

Forrest J. Ackerman; 1916-2008

(For those totally unfamiliar with him, the 2nd to latest issue of Rue Morgue had a wonderful series of articles/interviews about/with him - a good a place as any for an introduction!)

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