HMAD's 4th Annual End Of Year Awards!!

And so another year of Horror Movie A Day-ing has come to an end. I actually have less reviews than ever for 2010 (‘only’ 400!), due to Lost Episode A Day taking up some attention (mine, not anyone else’s – I’ll be glad when it’s done), some occasional odd jobs (anyone catch my typo in the Hatchet II end credits yet?), and even an acting job! As mentioned HERE, I played the monster in a short film – I had a blast and can’t wait for you folks to see it.

I also took it easier when it came to festivals; writing brief capsule reviews for movies I didn’t think much of or didn’t have a lot to say about. And thanks to the delightfully angry “anonymous commenter” on the review for one festival movie that hasn’t been distributed yet, I won’t even be doing that much for future fests. I try to be positive here, but I HAVE to be honest, and if I can’t without someone threatening to punch me in the face, then I’ll just stick to movies that have already been distributed as much as possible. I’ve long had a policy of not watching “screener” DVDs of unreleased films after a similar incident occurred a few years back, but I guess I’ll be applying it to festivals as well. Apparently, some folks think it’s OK to charge 10 bucks a ticket to see their film, but not to point out its flaws. (I do, however, appreciate the ego boost I got by suggesting my negative review could hurt a movie’s chances of being distributed. Like there’s a decision maker out there going “Well... what does BC think?” HAH!)

But while there may be fewer reviews to choose from, there are still plenty of awards to dish out! So without further ado, I hereby present the 4th Annual Horror Movie A Day Awards! Hosted by, er, me. Again.

(As always, this is just for fun and focuses on nonsensical categories, and includes the movies that I SAW this year, not necessarily ones that were RELEASED this year. For a more traditional “Best of 2010” list, head on over to Bloody-Disgusting.)

Enjoy!

HORROR MOVIE A DAY’S BEST/WORST OF 2010!!!

Best Sequel To A Movie I Haven’t Seen: ZOMBI 4: AFTER DEATH
I ended up seeing Zombi 3 later in the year (not that it matters, none of the Zombi’s have a goddamn thing to do with each other), but 4 is way better anyway, featuring an amazing score, zombies that move fast or slow depending on the director’s mood I guess, and a hall of fame line in “The only way to stop ‘em is to blow its head off!”. And it’s much faster paced than most of these things (even the good ones like Fulci’s “original” Zombi), making it an ideal viewing.
Worst Sequel To A Movie I Haven’t Seen: GHOULIES II
I saw this borefest at the New Bev, after being assured it was better than the first one. Well, if this was “better”, I will take their word for it and probably never ever watch the original. It took the entire movie for the Ghoulies to finally wreak havoc around the carnival, and there’s a little person in the movie but he never fights one of them, which I thought was the point of hiring the guy in the first place.

Best Batshit Movie: HAUSU
I could watch this movie every day and never get sick of it. Or understand it. Making Raw Force look like the paragon of logic and subtlety, nearly every minute of the film is crammed with stuff guaranteed to make you either laugh or yell “WHAT?!?!?” (usually both at the same time), and never ceases to be entertaining – even the end credits are fun. Essential viewing in a theater.
Worst Batshit Movie: THE BOX
Would it kill Richard Kelly to make some fucking sense? The part of the movie that he took from the original story was fine. However that’s only the first third. The rest of the movie is pure Kelly, which means a lot of babble about vessels, something about aliens, incoherent character behavior, and the total lack of anyone that resembles a real human being. The only good thing to come out of watching this was asking the lovely Gillian Jacobs to explain her character to me at Comic Con (I was inexplicably doing press for Community). Luckily, she didn’t get it either.

Best 1970’s No Budget Monster Movie: ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES
I had always assumed this movie was corny as hell and probably pretty boring, but I couldn’t be more wrong. Some of the humor is dated, but I was still laughing quite a bit, and the out of nowhere musical numbers were largely enjoyable. And the tomatoes weren’t giant monsters like the ones on the VHS cover – they were normal to pumpkin sized, which is way better. A total delight.
Worst 1970’s No Budget Monster Movie: BEWARE! THE BLOB
My god what a horrid pile of filth. Painfully unfunny (despite almost non-stop attempts to be so) and boring to boot, this is the sort of movie that I wish was forever lost due to poor storage or something. Nope, it’s available on digital formats, so future generations will forever run the risk of seeing it.

Best Use Of William Forsythe: DEAR MR. GACY
Not a particularly great movie, but Forsythe is top-notch in his performance as the notorious killer, going over the top only when required and being genuinely scary at times, something he hasn’t really done in ages. It’s also a ballsy role for the guy – the script doesn’t tiptoe around Gacy’s terrible sexual preferences (at one point he encourages the hero to rape his pre-teen brother). Someone get him a meaty role in a theatrical movie again! And no, not you, Mr. Zombie.
Worst Use Of William Forsythe: THE RIG
Forsythe dies about 30 minutes into this thing, despite top billing. Worse, he never gets to fight the monster, and spends most of his screentime arguing with his daughter about her lifestyle. On an oil rig. Look, I like the guy, but he’s no Bruce Willis – don’t tarnish his filmography by having him rip off the finest oil driller movie ever made just because he’s got bills to pay.

Movie That Didn’t Live Up To Its Title: SUCK
I wasn’t expecting much from Suck, but it turned out to be a pretty enjoyable and funny little flick. Fun cameos from Alice Cooper and Moby (gleefully mocking his vegan lifestyle), a winning lead performance by writer/director Rob Stefaniuk, and a smoking hot lead actress (Jessica ParĂ©) all combined to make one of the year’s best comedic horror movies. Decent songs too.
Movie That 100% Lived Up To Its Title: DISMAL
Oh yes, you certainly were. In fact, it may be the worst movie I saw all year (it’s one of only nine that I labeled “Crap” – a record low!). Every single scene in the movie was lifted almost verbatim from a different movie; Christ, they even ripped off Hatchet at one point. 'Dismal' is almost too kind.

Best Confined Movie: DEVIL
It’s a shame that the producer of the film (M. Night Groanalot) overshadowed the ACTUAL film, which was a tight, suspenseful little gem. And kudos to John Dowdle for keeping it visually interesting despite the obvious limitations of shooting in a cramped elevator. Luckily, I’m seeing folks renting it on DVD and discovering its worth, so hopefully future “Night Chronicles” will be forthcoming.
Worst Confined Movie: TRUNK
A girl in a trunk is driven around by a serial killer. Could have been decent, if the writer knew how to write dialogue besides “Fuck you!” or “No, FUCK YOU!”. Or if the director knew how to mix up his backgrounds – the guy drives around for hours yet it’s always the same area of downtown LA that we see rolling by. Oh, the director and the writer are the same guy (Straw Weisman), so at least I know to avoid future films from only one person instead of two.

Best Movie I Had To Put Effort Into Seeing: COLD PREY II
Anchor Bay released the first Cold Prey a while ago, but they still haven’t done the same for this sequel. So I finally tracked down an all-region copy, at a price a bit higher than I usually like to shell out for a “blind buy”, from a mysterious 3rd party seller. Luckily, the movie lived up to the original quite ably, and is actually one of the better “picks up right where the first one left off” sequels I can recall, despite a change in director and a fairly obvious source of inspiration (our survivor is taken to a hospital....).
Worst Movie I Had To Put Effort Into Seeing: PLAGUERS
I had a screener of this thing, but it conked out after a few minutes, so I had to drive out to the store to rent their copy, which I had passed by several times over the past year or so (partly due to the fact that I had a screener). Turns out I was making the right call – it wasn’t even worth the effort of putting it into the DVD player, let alone making a trip to Blockbuster to get a working copy. Some of the girls were hot, but that doesn’t nearly make up for the inept action, nonsensical plot (which rips off Alien enough that someone should be sued) and beyond laughable FX – the old Star Trek looked better than this, and I mean BEFORE they cleaned it up for HD.

Best Movie My Readers Kept Demanding I See: OUTPOST
A couple of folks have been all but showing up at my door with a copy in one hand and a gun in the other trying to get me to watch this movie, but once I saw it I understood why – it’s pretty awesome. Sort of like The Keep crossed with The Descent, it also features the awesome Ray Stevenson, who deserves better than DTV efforts (even good ones – the guy should be getting Gerard Butler’s career!). Supposedly a sequel is on the way; it won’t take a lot of arm breaking to get me to see it.
Worst Movie My Readers Kept Demanding I See: SCREAM 3
Ever since I posted reviews of Scream 1 and 2 back in October of 2007, folks have been asking for me to review 3, and I kept saying that I didn’t want to watch it again because I didn’t like it. But then Dimension announced (finally) that Scream 4 would be going ahead, so I figured I’d give it a shot – maybe the surplus of bad slashers I've seen due to HMADing would give me a new appreciation for it. Nope! Still sucks. In fact I like it less every time.

Best Killer Tiger Movie: BURNING BRIGHT
While I was disappointed that Meat Loaf never got to fight/get eaten by the tiger, I was surprised how suspenseful this “could-have-been-a-disaster” movie was. I could watch Briana Evigan read stereo manuals for 90 minutes, but she actually puts in a performance to match her looks here, and I enjoyed Garret Dillahunt’s misguided villain as well. Bonus points for using a real tiger!
Worst Killer Tiger Movie: MANEATER
They named a whole series after this thing, you’d think it would be pretty good. But alas, even Gary Busey can’t save this snoozefest. In fact, I think if you make a Gary Busey vs. a Tiger movie and it’s BORING then you have officially failed at life.

Best Addition To The Nightmare On Elm Street Legacy: NEVER SLEEP AGAIN
OK, maybe four hours is a bit much on paper, but watch the film and then tell me what they should cut. Every anecdote (including several candid ones about things that went wrong) is worth listening to, and the filmmakers assembled almost everyone you could possibly want (no Johnny Depp or Laurence Fishburne though – boo!) from the series; over a hundred participants if I’m not mistaken. Add in a 2nd disc packed with entertaining bonus features, and you have a set you can be proud to place next to your boxed set.
Worst Addition To The Nightmare On Elm Street Legacy: NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (2010)
The more I thought about this movie, the more I hated it. I didn’t get as angry when I saw it as I did for RZ’s Halloween or Gus Van Sant’s Psycho, because I don’t love the original Nightmare as much as I do those films. However, stacked against them, Nightmare is actually the worst of the bunch (and certainly the worst Platinum Dunes movie), because there was absolutely nothing to suggest anyone involved had any creative ideas whatsoever – there is simply no reason for this movie to exist except for PD to complete their “set” of available franchises to try (and fail) to revive. Fuck you, movie.

Best Movie To Inexplicably Get A Theatrical Release: BLACK WATERS OF ECHO’S POND
Not a particularly good movie, but no worse than the average After Dark entry, and featured a few ringers (Robert Patrick, Danielle Harris) plus those smoking hot Babysitter Twins from Grindhouse. Wasn’t even the worst movie I saw that week, and kudos to the filmmakers for getting it into theaters.
Worst Movie To Inexplicably Get A Theatrical Release: CHAIN LETTER
This piece of shit has been on the shelf for a couple of years, and then suddenly found itself in theaters on the busiest release day of the year (October 1st, which also saw the release of the long-delayed Case 39, the well done but pointless Let Me In, and the “cameo” theatrical release of Hatchet II, plus 1-2 other non-horror films). Hopelessly outdated and wholly idiotic, this is the sort of movie that doesn’t even deserve to go direct to DVD. What the hell was it doing alongside The Social Network at the multiplex?

Best Asylum Movie: MEGA PIRANHA
The biggest problem with most Asylum movies is that they only have enough action for the trailer, with the rest of the movie comprised of people talking or people looking at action we can’t see. Not the case with Mega Piranha! It’s pretty packed with action – piranha dive-bombing buildings alongside the ocean, a Bourne-like hero fighting folks, car chases... easily the best thing they’ve ever done. A few more like this and they might actually get a legitimate quote to put on their DVD cases (the ones they use are fake).
Worst Asylum Movie: PARANORMAL ENTITY
Released so quickly that the film didn’t even have an IMDb page when the disc hit shelves, this is actually the rare Asylum ripoff that can’t even use its low budget as an excuse – the film it was cribbing from cost about as much. It tells you that everyone dies right at the start (and adds in some nonsense about incestuous rape that never occurs), and then takes 80 minutes of tedium and 2 minutes of action to finally get to that point. And I don’t even know who to blame, because the movie didn’t even have credits!

Best Movie Called Salvage: SALVAGE (2009)
An odd hybrid of home invasion and monster movie, the film isn’t perfect, but it’s a cool idea and well made despite obvious limitations (like shooting in an actual neighborhood – tiny suburban houses and complaining neighbors included). Cool monster design too.
Worst Movie Called Salvage: SALVAGE (2006)
I liked the writers’ previous movie Rise Of The Dead, but this one was a snoozer, with a convoluted “personal hell” plot that would have been interesting if any of the characters were. The horrible soundtrack did it no favors either.

Hottest “Gross” Sex Scene: SPLICE
Look, I don’t care if I “raised” her – if I was a weirdo scientist that created a human-esque thing that had my frigid wife’s DNA in it, and she jumped on me, I’d probably hit it too. If nothing else, I’d have the best story to tell down at the bar. Who could top that?
Grossest “Hot” Sex Scene: SUICIDE GIRLS MUST DIE!
I’m supposed to be titillated by these girls? They’re horrible human beings, most of them look like they forgot to eat for the past couple weeks, and they’re covered in garbage tattoos. All I wanted was for them to put their clothes on and then die horribly. I didn’t get my wish (no one dies – it’s all a big prank a la April Fool’s Day).

Best Movie About Making A Movie: KILLER MOVIE
I really thought this one would suck, but it turned out to be one of the better whodunits I’ve seen since Scream, refreshingly light on humor and loaded with entertaining red herrings. And Leighton Meester gets killed horribly, preemptively making it up to us for what I’m sure will be a terrible (PG-13) time with The Roommate.
Worst Movie About Making A Movie: SPLATTER MOVIE
I’m sick to death of these movies as is (the Killer Movie folks weren’t making a horror movie), but the characters in this movie are making a movie about a killer stalking a horror movie crew! What the meta-christing fuck?!? And it looked like shit too. If you’re going to waste my time trying (and failing) to be clever, at least use a decent camera.

Best Amusement Park Movie: HOUSE OF FEARS
At long last, I got a decent funhouse movie! The logistics are a bit muddled (they’re stuck in a funhouse that would seemingly take two hours to walk through normally), but the characters are engaging, the “killed by your fear” angle works pretty good, and they kill even the characters you’d think would be safe. And there’s a random Jared Padalecki cameo!
Worst Amusement Park Movie: THE FUN PARK
Not only is this wannabe Texas Chainsaw flashback-fest a total bore, but they also don’t even use the setting to their advantage! Half the movie takes place in a standard horror movie dungeon – we see some rides in the background every now and then but the characters never even run around under them, let alone on them. Includes pointless torture scenes too, just in case you didn’t find it worthless enough already.

Best “No, Not That One” Movie: THE ECLIPSE
A “The” has never been more important to a title, as this is NOT the 3rd Twilight movie, but rather a moving and quite scary (jolt scares) ghost tale starring classy folks like Ciaran Hinds and Aidan Quinn. It’s more of a tragic romantic drama than a horror film, but those scares WORK dammit, and the movie is just plain good. And no one sparkles.
Worst “No, Not That One” Movie: COPYCAT
This is not the Sigourney Weaver/Holly Hunter serial killer flick, itself no masterpiece but an enjoyable enough thriller featuring two of their generations most under-appreciated actresses. Nope, this is a forgettable lame-ass movie about a reporter investigating a killer who copies famous serial killers, and instead of making that scenario or its characters interesting, we just get lengthy flashbacks to the killers killing someone, as if we were suddenly watching a full fledged biopic about that killer. Which we should be doing instead of watching this.

Most Satisfying Documentary Lineup: THE PSYCHO LEGACY
Considering how many principles are dead and that Robert Galluzzo didn't have any previous features under his belt (like the Never Sleep Again team did), it's even more impressive how jam-packed this movie was with personnel from all four Psycho films, including Mick Garris (the only living director of a Psycho film) and Henry Thomas (young Norman), plus the always awesome Jeff "Duke" Fahey. I also enjoyed how he focused more on the under-appreciated sequels instead of spending half the time on the original, which has been documented/written about extensively - more "franchise docs" should follow his lead (i.e. if they do a more definitive Halloween series doc - we don't need to be told about the Shatner mask for the 496th time).
Least Satisfying Documentary Lineup: VIDEO NASTIES
While the doc itself was enjoyable and informative, I was really bummed that none of the directors whose movies were among the 73 banned titles were interviewed, which could have added some much needed personal perspective on the subject. Too many stuffy old Brits, not enough "names" that could not only provide some unique insight, but also help this doc get a release over here in the States.

Best Wide Release Movie (Reader Poll): THE CRAZIES
I had to pass in my Top 10 list for Bloody Disgusting by December 1st, so it’s kind of funny that The Crazies and runner-up Splice were my top 2 choices for the year as well (the poll ran until December 8th or something). There was only a one vote difference (!), and nothing else even came close, so they both sort of won this one. And I like the dichotomy – celebrating what was easily the year’s most original movie (if you think Splice was a Species ripoff, you didn’t see it), and the year’s least offensive remake (I actually think it was an improvement). In a rather dreary and forgettable year for horror, these are two I’ll still be watching in years to come.
Best Limited/Indie Release Movie (Reader Poll): BLACK SWAN/FROZEN
It was my goof – Black Swan should have been in the wide release poll, but I wasn’t even aware folks were considering it a horror movie at the time I made the wide release poll. So Frozen, which came in 2nd (by a wide margin) shares this award, with Rec 2 coming in 2nd (3rd). And four people voted OTHER but didn’t bother to let me know what exactly was better than the 20 or so “obvious” choices I picked for the poll. At any rate, Swan’s award worthy (winning?) performances and creative “story within a story” narrative didn’t floor me as much as everyone else, but it’s undoubtedly a great movie and the best Aronofsky film I’ve seen (I’ll be seeing the others soon, now!). And Frozen was Adam Green’s best and most accomplished film yet (I HAVE seen all of his), buoyed by excellent turns by Shawn Ashmore and newcomer Emma Bell. And it’s surprisingly rewatchable as well – I figured it wouldn’t hold up on repeat viewings since the suspense is the driving force, but those quieter character moments (the puppy story!) kept me entertained on 2nd and 3rd viewings. The end credits sucked though, glad they replaced that guy for the next Ariescope film :).

So that’s it for 2010! Hopefully in 2011 we’ll see a return to some things that I let slip by (commentaries, “Second Chance” reviews), as we (I) mark the 4th anniversary of HMAD on February 7th (4 years of not missing a day on February 16th!), and 1500 movies in a row sometime in March! Don’t miss these landmark events!

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Molting Issue 2 Now Available!

If you picked up issue 1 last month, or haven't yet checked out Repo creator Terrance Zdunich's new endeavor The Molting, you need to head over to the Official Site ASAP to pick up the newest issue! This odd and darkly humorous story is a 12 issue limited series, and Zdunich has only begun to scratch the surface of his vision of a burnt-out Anaheim (yes, the home of the "Happiest Place on Earth"). Issues are also available signed; check out the site and get on board!


HorrorBlips: vote it up!

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HMAD Screening: DRAG ME TO HELL

I guess I need to start taking the posters into account before I pick the film for the monthly HMAD screening at the New Beverly. While I couldn't be more excited to host a screening of the underrated and (theatrically) under-seen Drag Me To Hell, I am rather disturbed by the poster's outcome, which (per Twitter demand!) follows the usual motif of replacing the actor's head with my own. See, it's usually a guy's head I'm replacing, not that of a beautiful woman. So, my apologies to Ms. Lohman, who I hope never stumbles across this monstrosity.

Anyway, the screening will be a blast. It's a great crowd film and a perfect midnight selection; last month's Psycho II was great (and thanks to all who came!), but that's not the best movie to watch at a late hour. However, this one is a non-stop bolt of energy, with Lohman getting abused in a manner that would make Ash/Bruce Campbell wince, not to mention the best dead cat gag in movie history. And yes, this is much newer than my usual movies, but that's because a bunch of you goons neglected to see it in theaters two years ago. Everyone begs Sam Raimi to come back to horror for years, he finally does, and no one shows up even though the movie's awesome. Fools!

As always; the New Beverly is located at 7165 Beverly Blvd in Los Angeles, two blocks west of La Brea. Street parking is available on Beverly and side streets (Formosa is best bet). Tickets are 7 bucks CASH at the door or online at BrownPaperTickets. Working on a special guest (no Sam for sure, he's up north shooting his Oz movie), but I'll have DVDs to give away and my usual silly intro. And it all goes down Saturday, August 27th at 11:59 PM! See you there!

P.S. Feel free to tweet, blog, facebook, etc. Include the creepy Photoshop poster! Thanks!!



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I'm A Badass!

Of all my accomplishments, few make me as happy to be on the writing staff for BadassDigest - Devin or one of his bosses could fire me right this second and I'd still be reading every day. And like any good site, there's "more" than just articles, including a video series simply called Badass Digest With Devin Faraci, which has tackled everything from Pulp Fiction shooting locations to a hidden Nazi bunker in Hollywood. Episode 28 was scheduled to be a roundtable discussion on the current state and future of horror, so Devin assembled screenwriter Jace Anderson (Mother of Tears), Ryan Turek of ShockTillYouDrop, and yours truly to shoot the shit while drinking beers in the middle of Dark Delicacies, the coolest store in LA for my money (runnerup: that one Ralph's that has individual snack packs of baby carrots).

We talked for close to an hour, and it would have went longer but some dickhead had to leave early to go on ANOTHER web discussion - in this case GeekNation's Killer POV podcast with my buddies Rob G, Rebekah McKendry (who just had a baby! GRATS!) and Elric Kane, who owns the Jumpcut Cafe where we do horror trivia (and, on occasion, Horror Movie A Day retirement parties). But they had to cut it down to around 10 minutes anyway, so any more discussion would have went to waste. However! Devin says if enough people demand a "director's cut" of the episode, they'll release one - so if want more of me making fun of found footage movies or sipping on my beer (I had to drive!), leave comments on the Youtube page! And check out the other episodes if you haven't already - they're all pretty different and engaging (for "just" horror fans, there's one where Devin goes to the Universal lot and visits the shooting locations of The Wolf Man and other classic monster movies).

Enjoy!

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HMAD Screening: URBAN LEGEND

Hell yes! As Urban Legend is my favorite post-Scream slasher by a mile, I couldn't be happier to not only see it again in glorious 35mm at the New Beverly, but to host it as well and hopefully play a part in introducing it to a few new fans.

In addition to some great direction and superb set-pieces courtesy of underrated director Jamie Blanks (this was his first film), what works about the film is that it borrows some stuff from Scream (the fresh-faced "WB-ready" cast, the whodunit mystery, the relatively high production value) but does its own thing with the humor. It's not about winking at the existence of horror films, but finding humor in the situation - best exemplified by a clueless victim singing "Turn around, bright eyes..." from "Total Eclipse Of The Heart", unaware of the killer behind her. And it's a bit cheesy (and will probably go over the heads of younger viewers*) but in 1998, Joshua "Pacey" Jackson yelping at the sound of the Dawson's Creek theme on the radio was pure bliss.

It also has some fun horror cameos from the likes of Brad Dourif and Robert Englund, from a time when this sort of thing was unusual. And speaking of horror heroes, Urban Legend was the first genre film to feature Danielle Harris in nearly a decade, which was a big deal for folks like me who had missed her presence in the genre since making such an impact in Halloween 4 and 5 (and were still pissed that she was replaced in Halloween 6). Oh, and Jared Leto from when he was known as the guy from My So-Called Life, not the douche singer of a rock band.

We're hoping to have a guest for Q&A (working on two possibilities!), but don't look for Ms. Harris - she's off in Louisiana kicking Victor Crowley's ass again in Hatchet 3 and won't be back in time. But I'll be there with my usual stack of HMAD-ified DVDs to give away, so it evens out. As always, the screening will be at the New Beverly Cinema at 7165 Beverly Blvd in Los Angeles (90036), and tickets will be 8 bucks cash at the door or online at BrownPaperTickets. It all goes down at 11:59 pm on Saturday, June 16th - see you there!

And check out that sweet poster! This is designed by Jacopo Tenani, who also designed the awesome "RIP HMAD" poster you can see to your right - if you'd like to own a beautiful silk-screen print of that one, please pre-order via Indiegogo! More details HERE. In the meantime, feel free to swipe the Urban Legend poster to pimp the screening on your blog/Facebook, and as always I welcome tweets and other ways of spreading the word about the screening! If it's a big enough draw I can convince the New Bev to show the awesome sequel later on down the road! Don't let me down!

*I understand the song has been replaced on most of the DVD/streaming versions of the show due to rights issues - making this joke even harder to "get" as the years go by.

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New Trailer: My Name Is Jonah

A while back I put up a teaser trailer for a documentary some good friends of mine are making called My Name Is Jonah. Well today they put up a new, fuller (and kind of creepy, especially that last shot) spot for the film, which is nearing the end of its post-production. So check out the trailer below, and keep an eye on their official site for updates!


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HMAD Screening: People Under The Stairs

According to BoxOfficeMojo, People Under The Stairs is one of the biggest hits in Wes Craven's career (and his last non-Scream sequel to open at #1) so I expect a big crowd for this 20th anniversary screening at the New Beverly! I am still working on getting a guest or two, unfortunately Wes will not be able to return to follow up his awesome SHOCKER appearance as he is finally taking a much deserved vacation after the last year or so (shooting/editing/promoting My Soul To Take and Scream 4 back to back). But it should still be a grand ol' time, as I will be providing my usual mumbly intro and giving out some DVDs. It all goes down on Saturday May 21st, and as always, the show kicks off at 11:59 pm at the New Beverly Cinema, and tickets are available for 7 bucks (cash only!) at the door or online at BrownPaperTickets. Street parking on Beverly and the side streets is widely available! See you there!

P.S. Feel free to pimp it out on your own blogs/Twitter/Facebook - let's pack the place!



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Ebert: Legendary Critic And HMAD Reader!

UPDATE: Do any readers come from Chicago? If so, did this review appear in the print version of the Sun Times? I'd love a copy of it, or at least the issue/date it appeared in so I can order it through the CST website. I couldn't find a "publication date" or anything.

My buddy Andrew from DreadCentral.com alerted me to this a little while ago: Roger Ebert's Last House review. In the 5th paragraph, you will notice that he singles out HMAD's review (as it was the only one online at the time) when making a point about rape scenes in films. Now, he seemingly missed the point I was making (not that the RAPE was tone down, but everything ELSE was, which made the rape scene more powerful, and thus HARDER to sit through and also easier to justify the parents' actions), but I'll chalk that up to my poor writing skills.

And ordinarily I would get kind of mad if someone took part of my review out of context and sort of made me sound dumb, but since it's ROGER EBERT (!!!) I will let it slide. I know he's a smart man, and I've been a fan of his reviews for twenty years. So seeing my name (well, sort of, who the hell calls me "Fright"?) in one of his reviews is fucking AWESOME. Now I'm going to go re-read his review of Armageddon, a film he hates and I love, and yet our reviews sound almost identical.

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Recommendations!

As you might expect, finding new movies isn't the easiest thing to do (not to mention all the ones I saw prior to starting HMAD - PLEASE READ THIS PAGE!). Especially those rarities in the horror genre: GOOD movies.

So this post is simply designed for readers to leave recommendations (good or bad movies, it doesn't matter)... I might not be able to respond to all of them in the thread but you'll more than likely be mentioned if/when I DO check out the film you suggested! You'll be famous-ish!!!

This will also make it easier for me to thank you for the recommendation, as I will know exactly where it is (as opposed to within the comments of a totally unrelated movie) if I don't get to it for a while.

Let's hear em!!!

(NOTE - I've been deleting responses in which the movies have been since reviewed, with a shout out to the reader who recommended it in that film's review. Trying to make this thread easier to navigate).

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UPDATED Attn: Carpenter Fans!

UPDATE: NOW WITH MORE REASONS TO GO!

Well, the "special guest" I had wondered about has been revealed: JOHN CARPENTER HIMSELF. He will be there on the 13th and 14th (there is a basketball game on the 15th, so no chance in hell he'll be there). Even better (in a reverse sort of way), Saturday night's screenings of Escape from NY/LA will have a director Q&A in between, moderated by none other than... ME!

I'm not joking. I'm gonna moderate... for John... Carpenter. Creator of the greatest film of all time.

So come on down and watch the films, and don't forget to read whatever Saturday's review is, because it will probably be the last as I am sure to die of a heart attack immediately following the Q&A.

Original post follows:

My good friend Garo just sent this my way... all at the Aero theater in Santa Monica:

Friday, June 13
7:30 PM THE THING & THE FOG

Saturday, June 14
7:30 PM ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK & ESCAPE FROM L.A.

Sunday, June 15
7:30 PM HALLOWEEN & CHRISTINE

Wednesday, June 18
7:30 PM BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA & ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13

HOLY FUCKING SHIT. No word on special guests, but I am guessing that if they are showing his best stuff all in a row (no They Live or Prince of Darkness tho?), there's gotta be a reason...

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Interview!

Hey all, the good folks over at I Like Horror Movies took some time to interview none other than me, BC, for their ongoing series "Meet the Bloggers". Head on over and check out, amongst other things, my 900th plug for Cathy's Curse.

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A Video With Me Talking About Stuff!

My good friend Ryan Rotten over at ShockTillYouDrop had me on his weekly vidcast show "Choice Cuts" this week, where we discussed the rather grim world of FX guys turned feature film directors. While there are a few notable bright spots (Stan Winston's Pumpkinhead), most of their efforts are rather lousy (If you see that a movie is directed by the Strause Brothers - RUN!). You can check out the video below, or click the link above to see it and all of the other episodes on the Shock page. Thanks to Ryan for having me on!

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Repo Contest!

NOTE!! CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED!!!

I know I rarely do contests here, because I try to keep HMAD simple. But when it comes to movies I truly believe in that I feel aren’t getting enough love (read: promotion from their own studio), I try to help. Hence the 3rd HMAD contest: Promote Repo And Win! And the prize is way more awesome than a poster or a magnet – this is genuine MEDIA we’re talking about here!

At last weekend’s Comic Con I snagged some super rare promo CDs featuring 6 songs (it says 7 but the first one is like 4 seconds long) from Repo: The Genetic Opera. And it’s a damn good song selection; two of the songs are ones I specifically pointed out in my review as being standouts. And the others are also full fledged songs that are fun to listen to even if you don’t know what the hell they are singing about yet. Trust me, you want to hear this CD! Here is a video of one of those, Zydrate Anatomy:

But as a bonus, check it out: The CD is signed by Darren Lynn Bousman (director) and Terrance Zdunich (the mastermind behind the original stage play, who also appears in the film as Grave Robber)! So not only are the CDs pretty rare to begin with, this is certainly one of probably very few that are signed by the two biggest creative folks on the film. And it’s the ONLY one that will be mailed to the winner by me!

So how do you snag this kickass prize? Simple: promote Repo on your own site/blog. Post the trailer, post the above clip, make a banner, whatever. Want to sing along to the song and film yourself singing like that one guy from the Weezer video? Do it! Get creative!

Repo is currently scheduled for a very small release, but that can change if enough folks want to see it! The winner will be whoever I think made the best and most creative effort to spread the Repo word to others. We’re talking about a movie that is about as far from traditional as you can possibly get, so your posts should reflect that! And quantity is encouraged as well- if you want to make a post every single day of the week, go ahead! To enter, simply leave a comment on this story with a link to your post. Your post MUST include a hyperlink to the official Repo site (www.repo-opera.com) to qualify. The idea here is to get more people on board with the film, and increased traffic on the official site is the best way to do that for now.

I will choose the winner on August 10th! Good luck! And to everyone that enters – THANKS! I may have no connection to the film, but I DO watch a horror movie a day, and after a while, they all start to blend together and bore me. Movies like Repo, which are original and out there, are the types of movies I wish I could see more often. Repo’s success means more original films and less cookie cutter crap, and so I, and every other horror fan, WILL indirectly benefit from it. “Win-win-win”, as Pam Beasley might say. Also, director Bousman mentioned my beloved Armageddon in his panel for the film at Comic Con, so I kind of owe him.

And now we return you to your regularly scheduled Horror Movie A Daying.

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Halloween: User Review

(Originally posted on September 10, 2007)

Last week I put out a request for someone to write a counter review for Halloween. Seeing that so many anonymous (and some not) folks called me an idiot or an asshole for disliking the film so much, I assumed they would be able to come up with a good review that could clarify their reasons for disagreeing with me.

Well maybe they don't have thick enough skin to deal with all the insults that would be tossed THEIR way, or don't know how to write anything other than "you're wrong", or maybe they just forgot, but I only got ONE entry! ONE! Kind of sad - the request has been on the main page for 10 days now, during which time we have gotten over 10,000 hits, but out of all those people, only one guy took the time to put HIS thoughts down and review the film positively.

It's not really a traditional review for the most part, but neither are my posts, so I guess it sort of fits. At any rate, thanks to reader Chip Mayhugh for answering the call, and without further adieu, I present his review for Rob Zombie's Halloween. Enjoy!

HALLOWEEN (Review)
After the first 20 or 30 minutes of Rob Zombie's new Halloween movie, I was sure little Michael Meyers was gonna grab a mic, and a baby blue sweat suit and start busting rhymes, but Haddonfield aint Detroit. Instead of picking up a pen and writing clever stanzas like the pissed off white trash kids of the late 90's, Meyers makes masks, and then he does what psycho kids do today in 2007. He killed his family.

Rob Zombie captured the summer of 2007 better than any other filmmaker. Two of the biggest horror stories of 2007 were The Virginia Tech Massacre and Michael Vick's Dog Hostel. Zombie's retelling, places a young Michael Meyers inside Jerry Springer world. His mother is a whore. Sister is a whore, and fake father is a crippled pedophile. This kid doesnt have a chance, he's killing hamsters, and whatever else he can get his hands on. And he loves wearing and making new masks.

The two Virginia Tech scumbags wore masks too. One was a mute that hid behind computer aliases, he had no friends, was getting no pussy, so he made a video and killed 30 something people. The other Hokie, Mike Vick wore a different kind of mask, a football helmet, and when he wore it he was the most loved individual in the history of the school. At night he liked to go Eli Roth on his pets.

Some of you are confused and wondering what the hell any of this has to do with Halloween. Its got alot to do with it. I wouldnt be surprised at all to turn on CNN or Fox News and see Zombie's Michael Meyers neighbor exclusive with Greta Von Braun. Zombie takes a trouble kid, and follows his journey through hell, and shows ultimately what can happen to a kid that shows serious signs of being really fucked up, when the adults around him do nothing but hope things will get better.

Pathetic health care only makes Meyers worse, and when the system totally fails him, it can no longer contain him. Zombie fails visually here going for the WWE stylized comic book character version of a Slasher. It doesnt work. We dont need a Slasher that looks like WWE, especially after seeing him as a monster with Cherub like features swinging a log at another kids head. Zombie tried too hard stylistically when he was a musician, and he still tries too hard as a director. The recurring cast members only further remove the viewer from believability. But these are small gripes for a B-movie. And thats what Halloween is, its a B-movie. And if there was a B-movie rating system, Halloween would be a 4 star movie. The cinematography is distracting and amaturish, but the nostalgic big hit song selections ballance the the compositions in a unique home made movie kind of way. And even though it is over stylized and over edited, it tells the story of todays troubled youth. The sick and violent boy that is screaming out for help, by wearing masks, and no one can see or hear the calls for help.

Parents of weird kids should see Halloween. Troubled kids put on masks. They fool adults. And of course not every kid ends up being an unstoppable Hall of Fame Slasher like Michael Meyers, but even the troubled kids that will never pick up a weapon and kill half their town, or buy a mansion in the middle of nowhere to torture dogs, are still living in tremndous pain. Recognize the symptoms. Its easy to tell that a young Jason Voorhees is fucked up, he's a tard with a bent head, uneven eyes, and he's a very poor swimmer, Michael Meyers on the other hand looks like half the kids I see Skateboarding on the steps at the bank. Carpenter's Michael Meyers was never quite as right next door. Its a different movie. We are living in a much different time.

At the end of the Summer, Jason and Michael still aren't behind bars, they are at your local box office. Talking about how fucked up everything was before things got totally fucked up. Im talking about Jason Bourne and Michael Meyers. Two fucked up kids, that you just cant kill. What are we gonna do with em.


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Aw, Sorry Hitler!

As it turns out, in addition to being the absolute worst person of all time, Hitler is also a big horror fan. Sadly, he just found out that HMAD is ending next year. Here is his response:


Thanks to Mike Breiburg for putting this together! It made me laugh heartily! Excellent five year birthday present!!!

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The Horror Movie A Day Store 2.0!

I have overhauled the HMAD store! Along with all of the recent films, you can easily display my favorite horror films, some "Friends of HMAD" picks, and other stuff. You can also search for books, music, video games, and non-horror movies, if such things interest you (weirdos!).

Also: it's much redder/blacker than the real Amazon!

Horror Movie A Day Store!

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HMAD Screening: THE DESCENT

I gotta say, I've had a damn good slate of screenings this year at the New Beverly. While some weren't as crowded as I'd like (why was the place like 3/4ths empty for Drag Me To Hell? Fools!), it's been a great selection of movies, ranging from legitimately great flicks (Psycho II) to crowd pleasing awesome types (From Dusk Till Dawn). But this is the first time since Shocker I can honestly say I am doing one of my all time favorite movies: in fact, Neil Marshall's The Descent was actually my #1 choice when we did a "Top 20 of the decade" for Bloody Disgusting back in 2009. THAT'S HOW GOOD IT IS.

Read on for details!

I first saw the film during its US release in 2006, and it pretty much blew my mind - I was legit scared throughout most of the movie, something that never happens. That it was also gory as hell ("really scary" and "really gory" are like oil and water, usually) made it all the more impressive, and as I've said several times, I honestly think the movie would be just as great if it didn't even have the monsters. It also works on repeat viewings - the monsters actually appear more often than you'd think, since Marshall doesn't use a cheap music sting to announce their presence. Yay, subtlety!

The screening kind of snuck up on me, it's actually a week from tomorrow! Saturday, September 17th is the day, at 11:59 pm. As always, you can buy tickets at the door (cash only) or online at Brownpapertickets. The New Beverly Cinema is located at 7165 Beverly Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90036, about two blocks west of La Brea. Street parking is readily available (Formosa is your best bet) and there's a couple of gas stations nearby with ATMs if you forget cash for the ticket and/or concessions (cheapest in town! Popcorn and soda will cost less than five bucks). Working on a special guest or two, but either way I'll have a few DVDs to give out, as well as my usual charming/accidentally profane intro.

Also this might be the last HMAD screening for a while as the October schedule is filling up with special events, including the all nighter on October 1st! So while I'll be there as much as possible, I don't know if I'll be hosting anything until November or so. So if you love me you'll come!

Feel free to post/tweet/link on Facebook, and don't forget to include the awesome poster, which I based on one of the foreign designs as the common "skull-face" design was too complicated for me to figure out. Thanks, and see you there!!!


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Listen To BC Talk About Non Horror Movies!

I apologize for the reviews delay - I had today (Monday) off and thus I am treating it as an extended weekend. All three weekend reviews will be up tomorrow (Tuesday).

To tide you over, you can listen to me ramble on about Cirque Du Freak, as well as Gentlemen Broncos and a pair of indie film trailers (both non-horror) as the special guest on this week's Popcorn Mafia podcast! The show, a multiple nominee for Best Film Podcast at the Podcast Awards (vote for them HERE for this year's awards!), features two lovely ladies (Grae Drake and Gariana Abeyta) dishing on movies in theaters, movies hitting DVD, and movies that are on the way. I had a good time recording the show and I was flattered that they thought to have me on as a special guest. I also got to plug Drowning Mona, so I was happy. Check it out!

HorrorBlips: vote it up!

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HMAD gets plugged by RUE MORGUE!

Faithful HMAD reader Joolee alerted me the other day that my incessant and OCD dedication to watching obscure crap got me a nice little writeup in Rue Morgue, which is the best horror mag going, due to the fact that they are intelligent, honest, and actually fucking review movies unlike their primary competitor, Fangoria, who tells you to see every movie under the sun and then reverses their opinions on them once they tank. And charge you 100 bucks to eat ice cream with Bill Mosely.

Anyway, I scanned in the article if you want to look, but really, if you're reading this site, you probably like horror, so you should be picking up RM every month anyway. 9 bucks gets you a shitload of info (in addition to movie reviews, they also cover games, books, art, haunted locations, etc.), and when the movies are bad, their reviewers are a hell of a lot funnier than I am. But for what it's worth, the writeup is on page 10 of the newest issue (which has The Mist on the cover - I am in good company!!!)

THANKS, RUE MORGUE!

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Attn: Aspiring Filmmakers/Writers

Screamfest LA is approaching (Oct 16-25th). If you've been to my site for a while you know that I am there every day soaking in all the horror goodness while eating hot pretzels by the metric ton And as always, there will be short films and a contest for best submitted screenplay, so get your entries in! Details for entry below. Good luck, and see you at the festival!

9th Annual Screamfest Horror Film Festival & Screenplay Competition takes place Oct. 16th – 25th 2009 @ Grauman’s Mann Chinese 6 at Hollywood and Highland in Hollywood. The Call For Entries deadline is approaching for new horror feature films, shorts and feature length screenplays. FINAL Film and Screenplay submission deadline is August 15th.

Feature Film judges include producers Craig Perry (Final Destination) and Sean Cunningham (Friday The 13th, The Last House On The Left). Short Films will be judged by Clive Barker's Seraphim Films. Winning screenplay receives a $1,000 cash prize and Movie Magic software.

Screamfest showcases talented genre filmmakers and writers from around the world to the entertainment industry in order to help further their careers. Writers and directors have garnered representation, winning screenplays have been optioned and/or purchased by production companies and films have secured distribution as a result of Screamfest. As well four of our past Screamfest winning directors have now directed for Sam Raimi and others have been attached to studio films. Screamfest launches careers. Are you next?

For more info on Screamfest visit www.screamfestla.com

Screamfest is sponsored by Write Brothers, Baseline, and Zodiac Vodka.

HorrorBlips: vote it up!

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Book Recommendation!

This book has provided me too much joy (and I've only read two chapters) to not want to spread the word a bit. They're not horror, but Steven Seagal movies are just as awesome as a lot of the stuff I hawk here, so a whole book of review/essays on each and every one of his movies is almost guaranteed a good read. Plus, the author, Vern, is the funniest movie critic since Mike Nelson, IMO (if you think my rants are funny - trust me, I've got nothing on Vern). I've nearly pissed myself a dozen times so far (not really a problem if I DID, since I mostly read it on the can) and I'm only on page 26. It's called SEAGALOGY, and it's readily available (hell, I got my copy at the comic book store). Check it out!

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Hatchet DVD!

You all know how much I love Hatchet... so it's no surprise I love the DVD too! It's got lots of great extras that are actually worth watching. My review of the disc is over at Bloody-Disgusting, check it out! The disc streets on December 18th, and it's the only horror movie coming out that day you should spend your money on...

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The Invasion

(originally posted on May 9, 2007)

This is a non-canon review for Horror Movie A Day, since A. I already did a movie for today, 2. it was a test screening and thus I can't expect anyone else to have seen it, and D. its more of a plea to Warner Bros to reconsider releasing the film at all.

I have seen probably 3,000 movies in my life. Sounds a lot, but consider 20 years of watching, that comes out to about 150 a year. Even before this, I watched 3-4 a week or more, so I feel that's a safe estimate. Now, in all of those movies, as awful as some of them have been, there is one thing that I can't say about any of them besides The Invasion, and that is "Whoever edited this film needs to be raped to death with his own Avid".

Never, ever, in my entire movie-watching life, have I been so offended as an editor (my real job IS as an editor, non-intro readers you) to see such a god awful hack job on what is technically a major motion picture. Throughout the entire film, in addition to bizarre avid farts that show alien blood cells flying around, we are shown portions of future scenes. Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig will be talking about trying to escape, and 2 or 3 times over the course of the scene, the editor will cut to 5 or 10 seconds worth of said escape. Or Kidman will be looking for her son, and we will cut to them reunited, then back again. As you might expect, this effectively destroys every iota of suspense the film could have possibly mustered, and renders the film entirely useless, not to mention laughable. There are also repeated closeups of things like tailpipes and gas pedals being stomped, glaring continuity errors, etc. It is destined to be the most nonstop movie drinking game ever. Just taking a sip of beer every time we see something we had already seen in a previous scene will give you alcohol poisoning.

Please, Warner Bros, let someone who actually knows what the fuck he is doing re-edit this film into something that's merely boring instead of disgraceful. It's not like we don't already have THREE good versions of the film to watch in the meantime.

And goddammit, stop trying to wring some suspense out of people waiting for an elevator to take them to safety! It hasn't been exciting in 20 years, why the fuck do you think YOU can pull it off?

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Shocker Screening Video!

Thanks to the kickass editing skills of Marc Pilvinsky (who also shot the footage in the first place along with Ilya Lyudmirsky), I can now present to you a nice and compact (i.e. all of my incoherent rambling has been thankfully excised) video of the Q&A that preceded the Shocker screening at the New Bev in October! Just in time for the Dr. Giggles screening this Saturday!!! Check out the video below!



HorrorBlips: vote it up!

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BC To Lead LA Like Lambs To The Slaughter...

From the very first time I stepped foot into the New Beverly Cinema, I have been asking them to show Shocker, my guiltiest of guilty pleasures (don't forget - I consider Armageddon to be legitimately good). Until now, my requests have not been granted, much to my increasing sadness. But the power of the film's 20th Anniversary was too much for Phil Blankenship of Amoeba Music to ignore, and so I am proud to announce that on October 3rd, at 11:59 PM, SHOCKER will indeed be showing at the Bev as part of Phil's ongoing and increasingly awesome New Beverly Midnights series, with a brand new print to boot! Even better: the screening will be the first of what I hope will be many to be co-presented by Horror Movie A Day!!!

So expect many plugs from now til then; in the meantime, check below for this awesome poster that I slapped together with my meager Photoshop skills!

(click to enlarge)

I promise you... THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME.

HorrorBlips: vote it up!

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Mr. 2000

While I passed 2000 reviews a while ago, that's because of all the days I doubled up (or more) - today, August 8th 2012, is the 2000th DAY IN A ROW of daily horror movie watching. The first and hopefully last day I ever missed watching a flick was February 16th, 2007, a full "ton" of days ago. I usually mark such milestones with a "Here's to the next (same number), but alas the streak will end at around 2200 days or so, as HMAD as you know it will be wrapping up with the 2500th review. But let's not think about that sad day! Let's rejoice in the fact that there are enough horror movies in the world (some of them good!) to last that long! If this was Western A Day, shit, I probably wouldn't have been able to hit 1000.

And of course, thanks to you guys for reading! I would have quit a long time ago if not for all you longtime regulars and daily newcomers (and even the anonymous trolls). Give yourself a hand!

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HMAD Screening: Monkey Shines

As I've said before, if I had my way I'd pretty much only show movies that I actually saw for HMAD when hosting my screenings at the New Beverly, as opposed to stuff I just liked a lot. So when I can actually do that, I get stoked, which is why I can hardly wait to present George Romero's underrated Monkey Shines in glorious 35mm!

I watched the film in November of 2007, the first year of HMAD, in fact, and long before I began hosting screenings. And even if it runs a touch long, I think it's a perfect choice for a midnight movie, as it has a monkey, and that monkey kills people. It also has some future stars in early roles: Stanley Tucci, Janine Turner, and Stephen Root all pop up, and it stars Jason Beghe, a character actor who was once a prominent Scientologist and became one of its more high-profile defectors after realizing it was a scam. So he's a hero.

As always, the screening will go down at the New Beverly Cinema, located at 7165 Beverly Blvd in Los Angeles (90036), just two blocks west of La Brea. Street parking is available (Formosa is best bet) and tickets are 8 bucks cash at the door, or you can buy advance tickets online at BrownPaperTickets. I'll have some DVDs and swag to give away before the movie, so get there on time! Everything starts at 11:59 pm on Saturday August 18th.

The below poster is courtesy of Jacopo Tenani, so if you like it, give him some love at his Pinterest site! And feel free to post it on your blog, or Facebook/Tweet about the screening! This film rarely screens on 35mm, so let's pack the joint for killer monkey action!

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Happy Birthday, HMAD!

Horror Movie A Day is four years old today! From Return To Horror High to whatever I watch today (Death Note 2 is the top contender), that's an ass-ton of horror movies, and even more offenses to grammar and traditional spelling. And the PROFANITY! Dear lord. I shudder to think of how many F-bombs have been dropped over the past 1460 days.

Anyway, thanks for sticking around - I'll be here as long as you are!

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Video Game Review: Dead Space

As much as I love my horror movies, it’s actually rare that I play a horror based game. Part of it is lack of options; my beloved Xbox360 has only offered an average of 2-3 games per year that are in the horror mold: the two Condemned games, Dead Rising, Alone in the Dark, and now Dead Space being the primary examples.

Oh, and there was Vampire Rain, but come on. No one counts that goddamn thing.

The other reason is that they never really scare me, which is what the developers spend most of their time trying to achieve. Instead of crafting a great story or interesting characters, they seemingly focus on “OK let’s have a big tentacle smash through the wall right here”, and I’ve seen enough horror movies to know exactly when a scare is coming. Condemned is an exception; the sound design and everyday locales (subway stations, a house, etc) provided a truly unsettling experience at times, because it was identifiable and based in some sort of reality. But Dead Space, like Alone in the Dark before it, never offers more than the (very) occasional jump scare; even during life or death boss matches I never felt truly terrified. Crazy homeless guys with bricks are far more terrifying a thought to me than a “Necromorph” or whatever the fuck.

So it’s not particularly scary. Is it a good story, with a plot you want to see unfold/see your hero succeed? Not at all. In fact, our hero is without a doubt the least personable in modern gaming history. The nameless drone in GTAIII had more personality than Dead Space’s Isaac Clarke, an engineer who never utters a single word throughout the entire game. The ending gives us a possible reason for this, but it’s flimsy at best, and I don’t quite buy it as an excuse for being mute anyway. Regardless of his situation, what kind of guy sees his girlfriend (that he’s there to rescue in the first place) and doesn’t even say “Yo”? As a result, I never really found myself truly engaged by the story (which is presented mainly via text logs and such; so if you’re not into reading, be prepared for a pretty story-free adventure). Honestly, as I reached the later levels, I didn’t really care if Clarke succeeded or not; my incentive to win was just to get the achievement points and rack up another “complete” game in my collection.

However, as an action/shooter in the vein of Gears of War (behind the shoulder view, similar mission goals), it certainly delivers gory thrills. The seven weapons you can obtain in the game are pretty fun to use (except for the flamethrower – does the damn thing EVER actually kill anything?), particularly the ripper, which is like the I Come In Peace CD weapon in gun form. I never grew tired of using stasis (slows enemies down to almost being frozen in place) and going apeshit with that thing, cutting each limb off in bloody slomo glory. And the difficulty is almost perfect; some things took a few tries, but I never felt that the game was being cheap, or that I was breezing through either (note – this reflects the medium difficulty).

But back to taking limbs off!

The game’s biggest (and pretty much only) original-ish idea is that merely shooting a monster in the head a couple times is hardly the best strategy (in some cases, it’s the worst), because it won’t even necessarily kill him. Each monster type (there are about a dozen) has a different weak point, and cutting that part off is your best bet to dispatch it quickly and with minimal ammo use (as in any survival horror game worth its salt, ammo is hardly unlimited, though it’s more plentiful than the earlier Resident Evil games). One guy has a giant hand; attack it too close, it will explode and probably take you out. Another has a disgusting sack belly that will unleash a dozen or so little critters that are tough to shoot (and will swarm all over you until you die or manage to shake them off). Then there are others that endlessly regenerate, which means you gotta use something besides what’s in your hand. In short – the enemy variety and strategic manners in which they must be dispatched are the game’s best asset by far, and almost enough to forgive the game’s low points.

Such as the repetition. There may be a dozen different enemies, but there are only like 2 or 3 different types of missions. Every level has you literally running in a circle (the ship has a tram service, so each level has you take the tram somewhere, do whatever, and then get back on the tram to go to the next place), and the mission goals never change: run from point A to point B to turn on something in room C, activate whatever that thing is in room C, and then run back to point A. A few of the later levels even have you running around the same areas you cleared in the early part of the game. There are occasional things that mix it up a bit (such as when you need to plant a beacon on a mini-asteroid and launch it out into space), but otherwise, be prepared for a heavy sense of dĂ©jĂ  vu as you make your way through the game. Granted, you’re on a spaceship (albeit a massive one), so it’s not like a whole bunch of different locales were in the cards, but they could have at least designed it so that backtracking wasn’t so common; for example, at one point you have to go outside the ship, but only the one time. Maybe 1-2 other sequences like this would have helped give the game a little more variety in the visual department.

The game also could have benefited from simply opening up the entire ship and letting you solve its many electrical and structural problems at your own pace. Sure, there would still be backtracking, but it would feel more natural, and would also dull a lot of that “on rails” feeling. The game has almost zero story anyway, so it wouldn’t make much difference if you turned on the shields before or after you fixed the cargo lift.

Another issue is that the puzzles are way too easy. Again, a lot of them are the same (take out the battery that’s powering door X and put it into the slot for door Y comes up a lot), which doesn’t help matters. The only puzzle in the entire game that required some light brainwork was a bit late in the game when you’re being chased by one of those always regenerating monsters and you need to slide blocks around in order to make it from one end of the room to the other. Even the big bosses all have a pretty obvious weak spot (a giant yellow sack); it’s just a matter of lining up your shot and then dodging his retaliation attack. I’m actually pretty lousy at these games, but there was never a point where I needed to consult a walkthrough, which is, I believe, a first. After a while I was praying for an escort mission or even a timed sequence (both overused game clichĂ©s) just to mix it up a bit.

(Actually, to be fair – the final mission IS an escort mission of sorts, but it’s not a person, it’s a fucking rock).

To cap it off, there is little replay value. Once you finish it, you can start a new game with all of your upgraded equipment (the guns can be upgraded via “nodes” – it’s a concept that was used in BioShock, and even going back to Parasite Eve), which is kind of cool; the enemies never really get any more difficult as the game progresses, but it’s still satisfying to blow through the first couple levels with a maxed out gun you didn’t even have access to the first time around.

And of course, it’s impossible to get all of the achievements (or trophies, if you’re a PS3 person) the first time around, so if you’re an AP whore like me, it’s worth another run just to add another couple hundred points to your score (if you play the game on medium, you can get all but one achievement, which is pretty sweet; Gears of War, for example, only yields you about 200 or so for a medium difficulty playthrough). But there’s no other benefit to doing so – the story is too paper thin to benefit from further examination, and there are no “choices” to make during the game or even alternate paths to take to your goals. In short, apart from having stronger weapons, it’s the exact same game you already played, and the weapon upgrades don’t mean new ammo types or anything; they’re just stronger and faster (so the big change is that a guy will take 3-4 hits instead of 5-6). There are no multiplayer options either, and beyond new suits to wear, it doesn’t seem suited for downloadable content.

So basically, it’s a great rental, but for 60 bucks, EA didn’t really do anything to set itself apart from previous (superior) action horror games to warrant the cost, especially in a crowded holiday market (someone buy me Fallout 3!). It takes ideas from The Thing, Bioshock, Resident Evil, Parasite Eve (not to mention any number of space-set horror movies)... and doesn’t really add anything of its own. Even the dismemberment mechanic can be found in the Fallout games. And by now, you can buy all of those games combined for less money. Maybe if it came bundled with the comic and the prequel movie Downfall (which actually shows more effort in its respective medium), it would be a decent value, but otherwise, if you simply must buy it, you might want to wait until it gets marked down a bit, or else your sixty bucks will be spent faster than you can say Event Horizon.

What say you?


PLEASE, GO ON...

Happy 6th Birthday, HMAD!

Six years ago today I started the never soon-ending task of watching and reviewing a horror movie every day of my life. Sadly, this will be the last birthday we celebrate, so let's make it a good one! I'm doing my part by seeing the new Chan Wook Park film Stoker as my movie for today, but you guys should... I dunno, have an extra dessert at supper? Ask your wife if she can bring a friend over for date night? I guess it's not really anything to celebrate. But hey, there it is. Six years of HMAD! Here's to six (weeks or so) more!

PLEASE, GO ON...

Happy Birthday, HMAD!

If you've been counting, or just saw it on Twitter, then you already know that today, February 7th 2012, is the five year anniversary of the "birth" of Horror Movie A Day! The site came along a few weeks later, but on that fateful day I put in a "new to me" horror movie, and have done the same every day* since! I didn't really do anything special, but if you'd like you can head over to Badass Digest to check out an article I wrote about the best movies I've reviewed over the past 5 years that still haven't been given an official release in the US. You can also share your HMAD memories in the comments section, assuming you have any (I certainly don't). Whatever you do, just don't go back and read the earliest reviews, because they're awful.

As always whenever I hit a milestone here, THANK YOU! You guys are all great and I still get giddy seeing "New Comment" emails. Wouldn't do it if not for the continued support of the few hundred or so of you who come back every day. You = HEROES.

Now to find a movie for today!!!

*I missed one day. Screw you, February 16th, 2007!

PLEASE, GO ON...

Halloween II: Director's Cut Differences

As before, I have compiled a list of the differences (or at least, the ones that I noticed) between the theatrical and DVD director's cut versions of a Rob Zombie Halloween movie, in this case, his even more polarizing sequel. Check it out HERE and let me know if you notice any other changes!!! (And, obviously, SPOILERS)

HorrorBlips: vote it up!

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Happy Birthday, HMAD!

Hey folks, we have reached another milestone - HMAD is 3 years old today! February 7, 2007 was the first time I watched a horror movie with the intention of doing so each and every day from then on. And as longtime readers know, I've only missed one day (Feb 16th, 2007) since. Wooo! Thanks again to all of you folks who regularly comment and check out the site (especially those who use the Amazon links ;) ), and here's to year four!

HorrorBlips: vote it up!

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P2 Interview

While you all patiently await my full review of P2, feel free to check out my interview with the stars, Rachel Nichols (who was also in The Woods, which means I should watch it again) and Wes Bentley (who was also in Ghost Rider, which, like I predicted in the review, is already eligible for a legitimate HMAD writeup because I can't remember a goddamn thing about it).

Anyway, head on over HERE to check out me checking out Ms. Nichols!

PLEASE, GO ON...

I'm On TV Again!

Hopefully by now you've added Chiller to your cable lineup, because if not you will miss out on what may be their most satisfying special yet. Tonight (Sunday the 7th) is the premiere of Great American Slashers, which counts off your favorite horror heroes like Norman Bates, Leatherface, and (yay!) Michael Myers. Who will be #1? Who got left out to make room for the non-American Pinhead? How many times will I be bleeped??? All these questions will be answered tonight at 8pm eastern (5pm pacific), with a repeat airing directly after.

They'll also be showing the other Chiller specials after, and I'm in both of those a lot more than I appear in Slashers, where I seem to have left the building at the halfway point for some reason. BUT, in my place are the people who actually made the damn movies, which is a lot more interesting to the viewer I'm sure. Robert Englund, Jamie Lee Curtis, Derek Mears, Kane Hodder, Heather Langenkamp, and several more icons are all on deck this time around, which is a big step up from the first one (Decade's Scariest Moments) where they only had a couple of movie participants and thus had no choice but to give more screentime to schlubs like me.

But just because you won't see me saying much about Halloween (that one kinda stung - it's my favorite thing in the world and they didn't use ANYTHING I said!) on the special itself, doesn't mean I'll be completely silent on the matter. I'm sure most of you are on Twitter by now, and if you can deal with my rambling about Community and Mass Effect then you're probably following me (at @brianwcollins), so I got a bonus for you. During the 8pm/5pm airing I will live-tweeting the show with more insight and wisecracks, and probably making fun of my own contributions in the special, so keep Twitter nearby if you'd like to read along! But be sure to follow @chillerTV as well, as I will be making all of my tweets @ them so that my followers who aren't interested won't see them in their feed.

Speaking of which, head over to their official page for more info (and a few clips), as well as the schedule for when it will be airing again in case you can't watch tonight. And thanks again to Chiller for having me once again - I am honored to say that I've been in all four of their specials so far, and hope to continue doing so.

And look! This time I don't have a terrible hat on!

PLEASE, GO ON...

Shocker!!!

After months of my hype, the Shocker screening has past. I would like to thank any HMAD readers who attended (including Kristian! Nice to meet you for .2 seconds! Sorry bout that). I would also like to thank Wes Craven, Ted Raimi, Richard Brooks, and Vincent Guastaferro for not only coming to the show at a late hour, but sticking around for the entire movie! That is incredibly rare. I've seen guests leave after their Q&A even for regular hour movies, so to stick around to watch friggin Shocker until 3 am is really awesome and hugely appreciated by both staff and attendees of the New Beverly Cinema.

I, of course, had a grand old time, embarrassing myself with both my wardrobe and my TMI stories in front of 150 people, forgetting roughly half of my questions (will forever kick myself for not asking what everyone thought of the soundtrack), and also forgetting to give away the soundtrack that I went out of my way to buy earlier in the day. Never said I wasn't a schmuck.

A much more flattering portrait of my hosting skills is available at my friend (and New Beverly regular - puts my attendance record to shame) Cathie's blog, please check it out and tell her thank you for letting me steal the following pic!

I hope to have future HMAD screenings at the Bev, so I'll keep you posted if/when they happen. Any movie suggestions?

PLEASE, GO ON...

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