Tamara (2005)

MAY 30, 2007


Another day, another ‘Oh shit we accidentally killed someone let’s cover it up uh oh they came back and now we’re all dead, fuck!” movie. Though Tamara has 2 things going for it that IKWYSLAKHUDJHI whatever the hell part 3 did not:

  1. It is NOT the 2nd sequel to a mediocre movie
  2. It is far easier to acronymize. “T”.
However it’s not much better. There are some interesting ideas (hints at incest are always a creepy plus) and setpieces here and there, but I get the impression the script required a bigger budget and less bland actors to be more successful. And it certainly would help if it wasn’t shot in Canada. Look, no one is being fooled anymore! If you’re shooting in Canada, just say so! Don’t pretend it’s in Boston or NY or LA or Ohio or Illinois or anywhere else! It’s fucking Canada!!!

Things don’t start off promisingly, with TWELVE executive producers and a few other regular producers listed in the opening credits. The director and writer point this out on their commentary, but it’s still annoying. That many people dictating how the film should be will always result in, if nothing else, an uneven film. Actually, the commentary is better than the film itself, as they both seem to realize the film didn’t live up to its potential and take a few shots at it, and also explain some muddled story points that a better director would have been able to film properly the first time.

Actually, a better director could have improved things across the board. The script has some good ideas, but the direction is so bland it betrays them. One thing I did like was rather than Tamara running around with the ax she has on the cover and killing everyone herself, she makes them kill themselves (or each other). Some of the deaths, cheesily shot as they may be, are quite awesome, such as when she makes a guy think he was buried alive or makes another literally puke her guts out. Sweet!

Also, I’d like to share a baffling dialogue choice (I should really make this a regular portion of my writeups, seems every movie has one line that just really makes me wonder if anyone bothered saying it aloud before filming): A jock meets a guy for the 1st time and invites him to a party. At the end of the conversation the jock says “I’ll call you later with the address.” They just met and the other guy is new in town, so how’d he get the number? And why can’t he just tell him? It reminded me of a friend of mine. You call the dude up and say “Hey wanna go see a movie later?” or whatever, and his response will always be “Yeah that sounds good, let’s talk later and make plans.” WE’RE ALREADY TALKING NOW, ASSHOLE!

Whoever the hell plays Tamara is pretty hot. Sort of a cross between pre-Cruise Katie Holmes and whatshername from That 70s Show.

What say you?

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