There are 3 things one never wishes to see during a credit roll:
- Starring Dane Cook
- Music by Harry Manfredini*
- Directed by Bill Rebane
*not counting the first five or six Friday the 13th movies.
“I know you,” the guy says. I wonder how he even knew someone was there.
Rebane also displays his genius plan to avoid having to edit two angles together. When two actors are arguing, rather than cut back and forth, he just zooms into a conveniently placed mirror, giving the impression of an alternate angle, and then zooms back out. Brilliant. Or stupid. Either/or.
And what would a Rebane film be without some truly worthless dialogue? Try this on for size: “It’s like a ghost town. I don’t have a weak stomach but I do have goose bumps. Might be because I’m cold,” which is by far the most useless line of dialogue this side of “He’ll be unstoppable, unless we stop him.” Not to be outdone, we are also given baffling nonsense like “I have tried to make you pretty, and you repay me with bad behavior. You were always like that, and that is why your name is Isabelle.”
That line is spoken by a little girl who is playing with her dolls. Then she hears a scream, and is convinced it’s one of the dolls. What follows is cinema’s all-time hilarious cutaway sequence:
“One of these things is not like the others…”
I get the impression Rebane forgot to buy a 3rd creepy prissy doll and sent a PA (who was probably his nephew) to the Salvation Army and that was the only doll he could find.
But the film is of use to old school Nintendo fans, as the song the old lady plays on the piano sounds suspiciously like the Ghost N’ Goblins theme. Ghost N’ Goblins, as I am sure you are aware, is the greatest game of all time that features a mostly nude man shooting javelins at zombies.
What say you?