Naked Massacre

APRIL 23, 2007

GENRE: EXPLOITATION, SLASHER
SOURCE: DVD (BUDGET PACK!!!)

Nelson Muntz (upon exiting a theater showing Naked Lunch): “I can think of TWO things that are wrong with that title!”

Well, Naked Massacre has both nudity and a massacre, but it’s still a much more serious film than the title suggests (maybe that’s why it’s titled Born for Hell sometimes). With that trashy title, I was expecting something like Slumber Party Massacre, but instead it was like a Richard Speck docudrama crossed with Patriot Games.

Things start off promisingly, however, with two characters who admit to having incestuous relationships (the killer with his sister, and a hooker with her son). So far, so sleazy, so good. Then we get a scene with a woman trying to hook up with her female friend. Heyo!

But then the guy starts raping/killing everyone and it’s just not as fun. Or any fun, at all. It’s deadly serious, but it’s still not very good, so you’re not left with much to recommend. I mean, there is SOME fun to be had, such as some bizarre editing choices that leave the end of sentences up to the viewer’s imagination so we can cut away to someone else doing something, and what appears to be an English dub over the people who were likely speaking “Irish”, and things like that, but otherwise this is a depressing, somewhat disturbing, but ultimately lousy film. It’s worth watching for the extremely clever way one girl manages to survive (she… wait for it… hides under the bed!), but otherwise I am sure we all have better things to do with our time. Well, I don’t, obviously, but I hope you do.

What say you?