HMAD's 3rd Annual End Of Year Awards!!

2009 was a pretty great year for horror. Paranormal Activity kicked all kinds of ass, Zombieland became the highest grossing zombie film of all time (even with inflation factored in), and for the most part, R rated horror films outperformed their PG-13 competition. Unless, of course, you count New Moon as a horror movie, then 2009 sucked, since the goddamn thing managed to gross nearly 300 fucking million dollars, pretty much more than everything else combined.

Sparkly vampires and homoerotic werewolves aside, the only real downer about 2009 is that the Saw series got back on track in a big way and no one showed up to see it, with the film’s final gross not even equaling the opening weekend of the previous movies. That, and we STILL haven’t seen the release of (2007 HMAD entries) All The Boys Love Mandy Lane or The Poughkeepsie Tapes.

As always, we (me) here at HMAD would like to take a look back at some various highs and lows of the year, eschewing “top 10 movies” or “the worst film of the year” (which would be The Cell 2) type wrap-ups for more important categories, such as “The Best/Worst Films That Were Dumped By Lionsgate”. And again, this list is comprised of the 365+ movies WATCHED this year - not ones that were necessarily RELEASED this year. For that sort of typical thing, head on over to Bloody for my enforced Best/Worst lists.

Enjoy!

HORROR MOVIE A DAY’S BEST/WORST OF 2009!!!

Best Sequel That Should Have Sucked: THE DESCENT: PART 2
When I think about the first sequels to the all time greatest horror movies (Halloween, The Exorcist, Texas Chain Saw Massacre), the word disappointment frequently comes to mind. Not that I DISLIKE those films, but they fail to even come close to matching the heights of the originals. But I have to say, that is not the case with The Descent’s sequel, which takes an Aliens approach for the most part (Sarah has to lead a team back there to figure out what happened) - and succeeds at scaring the shit out of me all over again. With some super splattery death scenes and a surprisingly tense final act (which sees the return of another character from the original), I was a happy camper.
Worst Sequel That Should Have Been Great: THE GATE 2
This movie had the same writer and director as the original, and put the awesome nerdy best friend character front and center. So why is this movie so fucking terrible? Nothing about it works, and worse, it makes you actually utter the words “I miss Stephen Dorff”.

Best Movie I Managed To See In Theaters: THE NEW DAUGHTER
This film opened on I think 12 screens, had no advertisement whatsoever (I can’t even find a trailer on Youtube. I can find footage of me eating a canoli on Youtube, but I can’t find the trailer for the newest Kevin Costner movie.), and no one even knew it was coming out until the day before it did. Hell, I didn’t even know what it was about until it was revealed in the film itself. It starts off like a haunted house movie, starts to seem like a killer kid movie, and then ends up being a full blown monster movie! Plus: COSTNER. Awesome. Check it out on DVD (from Anchor Bay I am sure, who was in charge of its “distribution”)..
Worst Movie I Managed To See In Theaters: HOMECOMING
Like The New Daughter, this movie opened on a few screens and you had to go out of your way to not only find one, but to even know it was out at all. In fact, if not for the fact that Mischa Barton tried to off herself the night of its premiere, I don’t think I’d have even heard of it. After watching it, I fully understood Ms. Barton’s actions. I hope she recovers both her ability to cope with life as well as her ability to choose better fucking scripts.

Best Movie Everyone Hated: DEAD SNOW
Friends told me this was one of the worst movies ever, but I dunno what the hell they were watching. I thought it was a blast, and pretty creative - it’s a zombie movie that’s set up like a slasher for its first half. It also has some of the best gore gags in years (entrails, meet tree!) and, you know, NAZI ZOMBIES. A damn fun time.
Worst Movie Everyone Loved: SURVEILLANCE
I’ve been seeing this on a lot of the “year’s best” lists - what? It’s not a terrible film, but when the whole thing is built around a blatantly obvious twist (one that prevents anything from actually happening until the film’s final act), I don’t see how it can qualify as some sort of cinematic triumph. Let’s chalk this one up to “Well David Lynch is involved so it must be genius!” -itis.

Best Wish Come True: FRIDAY THE 13TH PART V (at the New Beverly!)
I asked for it in last year’s awards, and earlier this year, Phil and Amoeba were kind enough to show A New Beginning in the middle of a triple feature (with Final Chapter and Jason Lives). I was in enchilada heaven.
Worst Wish Come True: VACANCY 2: THE FINAL CUT
I’ve always wanted to see a prequel to one of these “People run afoul of killers who have been doing this for years” movies that showed the killers doing their thing for the 1st time. Unfortunately, the movie Vacancy 2 showed us just that, and proved what a fucking dull story it would make. My bad, everyone.

Best Anaconda movie: ANACONDA 3
Not too bad, as these things go.
Worst Anaconda movie: ANACONDA 4
What a piece of shit.

Best Movie Still Not Released: THE REVENANT
I saw this film in October at Screamfest, and while it went over well (not to mention had screened at Fantastic Fest the month before), I haven’t heard a peep about it getting picked up for distribution. Come on, studios - zombies are hot again thanks to Zombieland; snap this one up and get it out there while the iron is hot!
Worst Movie Still Not Released: ANIMALS
Please, Animals, stay buried. We have enough “so bad it’s good” movies already, we don’t need your nonsense adding to the pile.

Shit Title/Great Movie: ALIEN RAIDERS
That doesn’t sound like a Sci-Fi original movie - that sounds like the fake title of someone MAKING FUN OF Sci-Fi original movies! But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s a pretty kick-ass movie, with Tony Almeida AND C-Note trying to locate an alien (disguised as human) in a locked down supermarket. Lot of badassery, lot of great kills, and a lot of “Wow I can’t believe how good a movie called Alien Raiders is.”
Great Title/Shit Movie: OLD HAG
You see the title Old Hag, and you think “Sweet, a killer granny movie!” But nope, it’s a “Bunch of people in a warehouse sit around yammering on and nothing happens until the end and it doesn’t make any sense when it does” movie. And I hate those movies.

Best Movie About A Bunch Of Stranded Soldiers In The Desert Getting Killed By A Supernatural Entity: RED SANDS
Shitty effects and some obvious tinkering aside, there’s a lot to like here from the team that gave us Dead Birds, and I dug the old-school slow pace.
Worst Movie About A Bunch Of Stranded Soldiers In The Desert Getting Killed By A Supernatural Entity: THE OBJECTIVE
This one starts strong but gets repetitive real quick, and the ending is atrocious. Worse, the lead actor keeps narrating the damn thing for no reason, and each time he starts to speak, I liked the movie less.

Best Movie Featuring A Twilight Star: SUMMER'S MOON
Alice Cullen, né Ashley Greene, stars in this gonzo hybrid of Motel Hell and Taboo 2, with lots of icky incest and a human garden separating this one from the scores of other “Tie a girl up in the house until she pretends to suffer from Stockholm Syndrome and escape” movies.
Worst Movie Featuring A Twilight Star: THE HAUNTED AIRMAN
Even the most die hard Twilight fan I know (my wife) was bored by this snoozefest, noting that the part where Robert Pattinson got a sponge bath was the only part she liked (mine too, but that’s because it was being administered by his aunt. Hey-O!). But it has lots of raves from Twi-fans on the IMDb, which means that from now on, Hollywood producers simply have to land one of the cast members in order to get good notices for their shitty movies.

Best Q&A I Got To Moderate: SHOCKER
I had been dreaming of seeing Shocker on the big screen for years, so just to finally do just that would have been awesome enough. But getting to host a Q&A with Richard Brooks, Vincent Guastaferro, Ted Raimi, and WES CRAVEN (!!!) before the film was just divine. There’s some video online for you to enjoy, edited to remove all my nervous jibberish.
Worst Q&A I Got To Moderate: MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D
The Q&A itself was actually pretty fun, since Todd Farmer and Patrick Lussier are great guys and told some awesome/funny stories. But my goddamn subwoofer of a voice kept making the mic go apeshit (cue Will Ferrell “Ooh, hot mic! Hot mic!”) and I looked like an idiot in front of 300 people. Luckily, as usual, 90% of the friends who said they were going to go didn’t, so I only looked dumb in front of strangers who probably don’t even remember it.

Best Maskless Slasher: HOME SWEET HOME
Body By Jake Steinfeld stars in this, the only Thanksgiving slasher movie I know of, where he kills an entire family via electric guitar, car hood, and other offbeat implements. And he does it all in a grey t-shirt and black pants. Which means that for the first time ever, some dudes in the audience might have come to the theater dressed as the killer without looking like a moron as they waited in the lobby.
Worst Maskless Slasher: SORORITY ROW
I dug the movie for the most part, but I was PISSED that they didn’t make up for one of the original’s biggest flaws, which was not using the awesome jester mask more often. The remake actually goes the other way, and doesn’t give the killer a mask at all! He just wears a druid robe for some reason. Perfect opportunity to finally put a jester mask to good use, and they blow it as badly as conceivably possible.

Best Movie I Saw Solely Due To My Attraction To The Female Lead: UNDERWORLD 3
Not being a big fan of the first two, I could have easily waited until DVD to see Underworld 3, but Rhona Mitra deserves to be seen in as big a format as possible. And even when she wasn’t on-screen, I found this one to be largely enjoyable, with some actual werewolf action (sans machine guns) and a far less convoluted plot than the others.
Worst Movie I Saw Solely Due To My Attraction To The Female Lead: WHITEOUT
There are actually a number of films that caught my eye primarily thanks to the comely female lead, but Whiteout is easily the worst because A. Kate Beckinsale is hotter than any of them and B. it’s one of the least interesting movies I’ve ever seen. I was bored even when she was doing her heroine thing. Only good thing that came out of this movie? It allowed me to eat Ms. Beckinsale’s fruit.

Best Movie Lionsgate Didn’t Let You See: BLOOD CREEK
Joel Schumacher’s Nazi/supernatural siege movie isn’t perfect, but it’s much better than anything else he’s done in the past fifteen years (I haven’t seen Tigerland yet though, I hear that one’s pretty good) and it’s one of the year’s more original movies to boot. I had to drive 40 miles to see it in theaters (at a place so rundown that the ticket counter and concession stand were the same thing), but it was worth it. Plus there was a Gamestop next door selling the awesome Stage Kit for Rock Band for like 30 bucks. Win-win.
Worst Movie Lionsgate Didn’t Let You See: THE HORSEMEN
This one didn’t even play in LA! Dennis Quaid deserves better - but he deserves better scripts even more. “You haven’t been in my room for three years!” would be one of the most oft-mocked lines of dialogue in film history if anyone had actually seen the goddamn thing in the first place.

Yay! Hollywood: A HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT
I thought the “real” version of this case would be even better than the above average THE Haunting In Connecticut, but it’s a total snoozefest, and the scares are botched to boot. And it actually manages to make less sense than the dramatized version.
Boo! Hollywood: QUARANTINE
A shot for shot remake of a film that was effectively buried until this one was long gone from theaters, with even minor characters played by recognizable actors in a film that’s supposed to be “found footage”? It’s a fun enough flick, but an incredibly pointless one all the same.

Best Movie Called Campfire Tales: CAMPFIRE TALES (1991)
This low budget oddity actually has a better than average ratio for anthology stories (3/4 are good) and a healthy smattering of gore to boot. Add to that a pretty informative commentary by journalist Mike Watt, and you have yourself a surprisingly decent disc.
Worst Movie Called Campfire Tales: CAMPFIRE TALES (1997)
Only one story is any good, and the whole movie is a PSA telling you not to drink and drive. But its rated R, so the 15 year olds who need to be told such a thing can’t see it until they’re 17 and have already driven drunk, fucked up their mother’s car, and learned their lesson the hard way.

Best Reason To Add Documentaries As HMAD Entries: BEWARE THE MOON
Paul Davis’ kickass and thorough look at American Werewolf In London is one of the best docs I can recall about a single film, and unlike the otherwise stellar His Name Was Jason doc, the people who talk about the film were actually INVOLVED with the film.
Worst Reason To Add Documentaries AS HMAD Entries: MICHAEL LIVES
I spent the better part of the day watching this goddamn thing, and I didn’t come away with anything I didn’t already learn in the 10 minute EPK clip on the previous DVD. Lacking insight, reflection, or even basic honesty, it’s an exercise in patience and nothing else, and Rob Zombie and co blew a perfect chance to defend/explain their controversial film.

Best Reason To Keep Doing This: DISCONNECTED
One of my favorite experiences of the year would not have occurred had I not been watching any old horror movie at random every day. It played in a little community center in Echo Park (a city I’d just assume never set foot in) and it was so under the radar that even the expert movie gurus at the New Bev had never even heard of it. But what a delight it was; a WAYYY low budget expanded student film that bears the distinction of not making any sense despite the fact that nothing actually happens throughout the entire thing. Tommy Wiseau ain’t got nothing on this gem. Seeyabye!
Worst Reason To Keep Doing This: STRANGELAND
I had managed to go over ten years without ever seeing this movie, and thus retained nothing but positive thoughts of Dee Snider. But one day at Blockbuster it was the only thing I could find that I hadn’t already seen. And now, I look at Dee and see not the frontman of Twisted Sister, but the guy who made one of the worst serial killer movies of all time (and trashed several great horror movies - such as Scream - while doing it).

Best Filmmaker Response: Paul Moore
If you would have asked in 2007 or 2008 who I’d be most afraid to meet, I’d probably say “The director of Dark Harvest”, as it was one of my more vicious reviews (as was my review for his followup, Keepsake). But he approached me at a party for Screamfest (where his short film Leftovers, which I quite liked and had reviewed a few days before without even realizing it was the same guy) and introduced himself, thanking me for the Leftovers review and joking about my Keepsake review. Thus, Mr. Moore is a class act (I woulda punched me in the fucking face).
Worst Filmmaker Response: Mike Feifer
Feifer found my review of his Ted Bundy film and commented, and instead of defending himself as a filmmaker, or addressing my concerns with some of the story gaps, he merely whined about how little money he has to work with and then boasted that they have all been bought by major studios (or, one - Lionsgate, who will buy 90 minutes of me running around with a screwdriver if the price is right). Since that is precisely what I don’t like about the guy (that he makes films on the cheap to sell for profit and no other reason), I think he should have just kept quiet and let me go on thinking that he wasn’t aware of the site (especially when I actually enjoyed Bundy, something he seemed to have missed).

READER POLL AWARDS!

Best Wide Release: MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D (Runnerup: Drag Me To Hell)
Best DTV/Limited Release: THE HILLS RUN RED (Runnerup: Grace)

Well that’s a wrap, folks. The third year of Horror Movie A Day has come to a close. HMAD hit a lot of milestones this year (one million hits, 1000 reviews, the start of my hopefully long series of screenings at the New Bev), and I hope you all stick around as long as I do!

Happy New Year/Decade!

BC

PLEASE, GO ON...

London Photo Blog!

Ordinarily, I would have just uploaded these pictures to twitpic with the appropriate comment. But for some reason my rental "global phone", which was doubling as my camera, wouldn't let me copy the pictures from it onto my hard drive without software, nor did I want to pay a data upload charge just to make fun of Justin Bartha or provide the world with the 9 millionth amateur photo of Big Ben.

Plus, after all, this IS my blog, right? Uploading photos of one's vacation is a blogger tradition that dates back to 2002 or whenever blogs became popular. So here you go, my London Journey, via hastily taken, poorly lit photographs! Enjoy!

(NOTE - Click to enlarge any image)

One of the "cultural differences" I found most fascinating is how much London loves its ice cream. B&Js is an American company and I've never seen a vending machine devoted to them, yet this was located pretty much right off the airplane (I saw this before I even saw a coke machine!). Plus all movie theaters had large selections of frozen treats, whereas here we might get those frozen Crunch chunks and that's about it. There were also ice cream shops pretty much on every corner.

This is the line at customs, which was long enough to keep me from seeing the first 10 minutes of Hatchet at the Prince Charles Cinema, where Adam Green was showing it, along with E.T. (!), as a stage-setter for the premiere of Hatchet II the next day. This was my first time traveling outside of the country (I hadn't even signed my brand new passport, the guy at LAX had to tell me to do so), so this was all new to me. And annoying. Come on, I just want to watch horror movies! Oddly, I was checked more thoroughly upon returning to the US.

So because of the double-decker buses, they need to have these signs about low-hanging trees, even though they don't look particularly low. Someone who came along before me apparently also felt they were a bit pointless and worth mocking (see 2nd image closeup).

A couple of shots of Piccadilly Circus, which is where the American Werewolf (in London) carried out the bulk of his rampage. I had gone there to visit Lillywhite's, a sporting good store that came recommended via twitter pals after my backpack zipper broke while carrying it and my luggage up a wet, 195 step spiral staircase the night before. Nothing broke, thankfully. And let's assume that the kind woman who helped me pick everything up and get it up the rest of the stairs without further incident is an avid HMAD reader - thank you, kind lady!!! That was the 2nd thing that struck me about London, actually - people there were very polite and nice, at least in my experience.

My first experience with the local cuisine!

A couple of shots of everyone rushing/cramming in for the premiere of Hatchet II! I believe it was due to a misunderstanding that I had done the opening titles, so they didn't want to miss them. Sorry guys, I did the ones at the end! I took a picture of that too (on my credit for doing the end titles - META) but it's too blurry to bother uploading. See it for yourself on October 1st!

Weirdest thing about London - Justin Bartha is apparently a marquee draw? What the hell is this movie?

This was a salon/cafe next door to my hotel. I tried to get a picture of the rat that I saw scurrying about (while they were closed for the night), but he hid under a counter. So I took a pic of the storefront instead. Therefore, if you're ever in London, on Holborn St, do NOT eat/get a haircut there. Because they have rats. My hotel, for the record, was ridiculously clean. I was sort of expecting a dump, considering how cheap it was (US$50 a night!), but it was very nice, comfortable, and came with a HUGE free breakfast. The concierge also helped me find the Prince Charles on my first night. I was very happy with my stay at High Holborn Hall.

Frightfest ended on August 30th, but my flight back was on Sept 1st. So I had the 31st to finally go around London and see stuff beyond the path from my hotel to the Empire Cinema. But of course, my idea of being a tourist is seeing other horror related stuff, so I set out to visit the London Dungeon, which is a museum/amusement park hybrid. But as I got off the tube, I was approached by a barker for the London Bridge Experience/London Tombs, which was a. cheaper, b. closer, and c. voted scarier. I'll just have to take their word for it on the latter, as I didn't find it particularly scary, but it was a good time. Still wish I went to the Dungeon though, since that had a boat ride and other sitting activities, and this was just a nonstop walk-around (I was pretty exhausted). Next time, Gadget...

The marker for London Bridge and an accompanying view from it. Here's the thing about bridges - they're more interesting when looking at them from afar, not being on them. Oh well. It didn't fall down or get transported to Arizona while I was standing on it, so there's something.

I like to imagine lazy parents telling their kids that this is Big Ben.

If you know me, you know how tickled I am by the word "ham". So this was a delight. I didn't go there, just risked getting robbed on the Tube while I took a picture of the stop marker on the Tube map. Speaking of the Tube, it's possibly the best designed subway I've ever used. Non confusing layouts despite a huge number of lines and stops, crystal clear announcements that even tell moron tourists like me where to get off for specific tourist stops, and plentiful LED displays that told you how long it would be until the next train (which was never more than 5 minutes). I've had more problems getting around in the city I lived in (Boston) than the one I just got to.

The Eye! I really wanted to go on, but it would have been close to 50 US bucks to do so, and I was by myself so it probably wouldn't have been particularly exciting. But it's a sweet looking Ferris Wheel, no?

We have taco trucks.... they have pancake trucks. Mmmm.

"Hey kids, look! There's Big Ben!"

"And there's Parliament!"

A couple of shots of Buckingham Palace, where the Queen lives, and works (she queens. And vacuums). This was probably my biggest disappointment about the whole trip, as I discovered that the guards are no longer out on the street, so you can't try to make them laugh or whatever. My guess? Someone made them laugh and their whole shtick was called into question.

The English do NOT fuck around when it comes to barbed wire.

I know it was in Paris, not London, but this still reminded me of the tunnel from Irreversible. Here in the states, we don't often have anything helpful like this to prevent us from getting run over. Plus side, we don't run as big of a risk of being raped in the middle of the street.

You might have to enlarge this one to see what made me laugh. Also, never follow them to a second location.

As I have probably mentioned here before, I'm a big fan of the movie Notting Hill, so of course I went there hoping to run into beautiful actresses or pick up the new John Grisham thriller at a travel book store. But I couldn't really remember anything specific about the movie to take a picture of, and I later learned that the famous blue door has been sold and replaced with a black one, so this picture of a blue door is entirely worthless. So I took a pic of the tube station sign just so I could prove (to myself) that I was really there at all.

The theater front for "Ghost Stories", which I went to with some friends on Tuesday night. Co-written by and co-starring Andy Nyman (the dude who had a nasty run in with a bear trap in Severance), it was a really good, funny, and yes, scary (I jumped twice!) play about a few different stories of supernatural occurrences. Nyman plays the "host" of sorts, who introduces the story and then comes back to explain how it could be supernatural, but also provides a rational explanation for each one. It was really unique for a play, and it all tied together in a very satisfactory way. Definitely worth checking out if you're in London, but I hear they are planning a New York run as well.

My hilariously half-assed notes for the film The Dead. I meant to put this in the review itself, but I forgot.

Not counting a few pub shots taken by others, this is the only photo of myself I got the entire time I was there, something I realized on the tube back to Heathrow. And thus of course, I took one with pretty much the most non-descript and uninteresting part of London behind me. I might as well be in Lowell, MA.

The Pac-Man maze-esque seats on the Tube. This was the only time in all the times I rode on it that I actually had a seat.

My final London eatery was this airport joint called Eat. I liked the boldness of that, a name of a place that doubles as directions for what to do there. I lucked out, the guy put in my order for an iced coffee but forgot to charge me for it. He realized his error and just shrugged, giving me one final opportunity to say "Cheers". But this act of kindness prevented me from being a smartass and asking him if they owned a brothel and if so, what did they call it? Also, I forgot the European obsession with mayonnaise (which I hate), so my BLT wasn't particularly enjoyable. Luckily, Virgin Atlantic fills you up on a daytime flight - I got sausage, a wrap, a cheese sandwich, plenty of drinks, and two desserts on my flight, all for free. Score!

So that's a very incomplete, largely uninteresting look at my London trip. Since I was by myself for most of my non-movie watching time and my phone (camera) was always dying, I didn't get to take as many pics as I would like (this is pretty much all of them). But rest assured, I had a grand ol' time and cannot wait to return next year.

And once again, I want to thank my mom for the best Christmas gift (the plane ticket) since my beloved fleece, my sister for the passport and several helpful travel tips, and my wife for organizing the fundraiser website which brought in enough to cover my hotel! And thus in turn, thanks to all who donated - it truly wouldn't have been nearly as enjoyable a trip without your support. And a final thanks to all the folks on Twitter and the Frightfest board (plus a few emails) who provided all the tips about HHH, the Phoenix, etc. I had a wonderful trip thanks to you, as otherwise I probably would have been sleeping on the subway and eating pigeons. You are all the best people in the world!!!

Cheers!

PLEASE, GO ON...

Scream Blu-ray Set - NOW AVAILABLE!

Hey folks, hitting Blu-ray today from Lionsgate is a great set that features the first three Scream films as well as Still Screaming, Ryan Rotten's great doc about the "original trilogy" (there's also a doc that only covers the first film, haven't seen it yet). From what I understand these are new remasters of the films, and while it doesn't include Scream 4 (coming from Anchor Bay), it should pretty much be the definitive set for a long time as I doubt the Gate and the Bay will play nice and put all of the films together anytime soon. Plus, it's only 20 bucks via Amazon, which is a bargain just for the first film and Ryan's doc alone. You can get it in regular stores as well, and if you're in Los Angeles, tonight (Tuesday the 6th) at the awesome Dark Delicacies there will be a signing featuring Ryan and some of the Scream personnel. So if you're a fan or haven't yet entered the world of Woodsboro, I highly recommend it.

PLEASE, GO ON...

Halloween Convention Wrapup

As you may know, I was one of the guest moderators for the Halloween: 30 Years Of Terror convention in Pasadena, which occurred Oct 31-Nov 2. Being my favorite film franchise, I would have gone to the thing whether I was hosting or not, so to be on the “inside” was a real nerd highlight for me. Anyway, just thought I’d post a few thoughts about it, if you were interested.

I missed Friday’s activities, due to my real job. I guess there was a pretty long tour of filming locations, and also a screening of the original. I’ve seen a lot of the locations, and I just saw the film in the theaters this past June, so I didn’t lose sleep about it. Still, both things are pretty awesome for fans who flew in from around the country (and a few from other countries) who don’t get to take such things for granted.

Saturday was the first “full” day of the con, and it was pretty packed. You had all the celebs doing their signings, nonstop panels, a big party... lot of stuff going on. Unfortunately, a lot of it wasn’t really for me. I don’t pay for autographs (why should I give someone 20 dollars to sign my own DVD that’s just gonna sit on a shelf? I know I met them; if someone comes over and demands proof that I met Scout Taylor Compton or Brad Loree, I’ll deal with it then), but I’m of the minority, so even going to say hello to some of the guests meant standing in long lines. Luckily, many of them I got to talk to on (or back) stage or have talked to in the past; the only real regret was never getting to chat with Leo Rossi. Relentless for the win!

The only panel I did Saturday was for Halloween 4, which meant a lot to me, since it was the very first one I ever saw. Unfortunately, the only people on the panel were actors and stunt guys, who are always the hardest for me to ask questions to. A director or writer I can ramble with all day, but when it comes to actors I’m always coming up blank beyond the usual nonsense ("did you do your own stunt in scene X", "how did you get involved with the movie", "how was director Z to work with..."). Also, I had no chair, and I kept thinking I was blocking Erik Preston (young Michael) as I awkwardly stood to the side and tried to avoid knocking over any pumpkins. Still, the audience had some good questions (save for one moron who asked about fans getting weird with the girls; he should know that Danielle DID have a stalker “fan” that kept her from doing these things for years. Luckily, Ellie Cornell stepped in to answer and we moved on to the next question) and I got to tell an abridged version of my “Halloween 4 broke my arm” story, so there’s something.

The party was a blast, once I had a few. We had to pay for drinks, but since the con was free and I didn’t find anything to buy, I was able to use the money I figured I’d spend at the con for drinks without too much concern. And towards the end of the night we got a few drink tickets, so woooo! Not a lot of the Halloween folks came, but Derek Mears, aka the new Jason, aka the nicest man in the entire world, was there, and even though I have my hobo beard, he remembered me. And I got to pal around with Uncle Creepy, who lives in San Diego, so I only see him every couple of months. Also: CHOCOLATE QUESEDILLAS! I also got to talk to a guy who had a kickass Loomis costume (he even shaved his hair to match Pleasence’s!), and gave a drink ticket to a guy wearing a Halloween III shirt (the least common shirt from the 9 films, sadly).

It was after the party that things got surreal. First, about 20 of us spilled into an elevator, which of course got stuck. The doors opened an inch or so, and three of us inside tried (and failed) to pry it open. Then, as if called by the ghost of Moustapha Akkad, Don Shanks (Michael from H5) appeared on the other side, and deftly opened the door as if it was two sheets of paper. This led to a resounding chorus of DON SHANKS! as we made our way over to the hotel for an after party or two. Along the way we spied an ice rink which was stupidly left open, so an impromptu snowball fight broke out. Then we ended up in the room of Halloween franchise guru Malek Akkad (Moustapha's son) for a few minutes, before Ken Foree himself herded everyone out. And this was the highlight for me; if I could tell my 9 or 10 year old self that the guys whose movies I was watching would be kicking me out of their hotel room, I’d... well, I’d probably be a bit confused what that meant.

Sunday was the key day for me, as that was when the HALLOWEEN III panel was set to occur. I basically told Sean Clark (who organized the whole con) that I’d only do Q&As if I could do III, so he obliged. I called out Tommy Lee Wallace first, and since I had a chair this time, I got to chat side by side with him about this masterpiece of mean spirited Halloween glee. Tom Motherfuckin Atkins was on the panel too, and got him to talk about my favorite part (when he ditches his kids to drink beers with the girl he just met). Stacey Nelkin was also there (her first con ever, from what I understand), so that was great, as she offered some insight no one has probably heard yet. Wallace told a lot of great stories about the shoot and the trouble with marketing it, and I also got him to sing a line or two of the Silver Shamrock theme. And, unlike a certain other director who I got to share the stage with, he actually seemed like he wanted to be there, so I was in horror geek heaven.

Right after that was the panel for Halloween 6, for which I shared hosting duties with Uncle Creepy. There were a couple of cancellations, but it was still a good panel, thanks mainly to Dan Farrands, who told some hilarious/sad stories about dealing with Dimension on the film and also pointed out that Joe Chapelle (often blamed for the film’s failures) wasn’t really the bad guy in the situation, just caught in a bad position. He also said that Anchor Bay was interested in releasing the producer’s cut, should Dimension/Disney ever give up the rights. I have problems with both versions, but I’d be happy with a goddamn anamorphic transfer. He also told a good story about Paul Rudd waiting outside of a theater (where he was performing in a play) for a fan to bring him a copy of the P-cut, which is pretty awesome. I would have loved it if Rudd could come (and even moreso if Marianne Hagen showed - had a big crush on her when the film came out), but oh well.

And that was the only real bummer about the weekend: the lack of top tier guests. With the exception of Wallace, NONE of the directors for the films were there, and the only screenwriters were Farrands (6) and Robert Zappia (H20). Also, other than Atkins, Harris, and the people from the remake (no Malcolm or Sheri, but pretty much everyone else), none of the film’s leads were there. Donald Pleasence is obviously out of the question, but Jamie Lee, Lance Guest, Beau Starr, Rudd, Hagen, Mitch Ryan, and the ENTIRE casts of H20 and Resurrection were MIA. Tyler Mane and Nick Castle, arguably the two most “memorable” in the role, were the only Michaels not present as well (well, Castle popped in, but refused to join the panel, or sign/take photos with anyone, which makes me wonder why he showed up at all). I can see not doing a Fangoria or whatever, but it’s a convention for a specific franchise – I was hoping more of the people directly responsibly for that franchise would show up and celebrate it with the fans. Then again, the people that were there seemed to genuinely appreciate their role in the franchise, and except for Nick Castle, loved talking to the fans, so I’d rather them than some stuckup yogurt eating broad anyway.*

Also, I want to give huge props to Daniel Roebuck**, who signed for EVERYONE who wanted his autograph, for free, not just the gold VIP members (also Bradford English, Dan Farrands, Malek Akkad, and (I think) Robert Zappia, who signed for the VIPs and possibly more, not sure, also free). Everyone else was charging, which I think is a bummer. BUT, I will say – no one forces people to fork over their cash, so if people are willing to pay for it, more power to them. I just remember going to Fango cons from 1998-2002 and getting all of the autographs I wanted for free, and then all of a sudden it was the norm to charge 10 or 15 bucks (and now 20). Nowadays, the only autographs I collect are from the directors of Fango “cover movies”, and luckily, directors don’t usually charge. Speaking of which, I somehow DON’T HAVE the Halloween III Fango, but Wallace signed my Fright Night 2 issue, so I was happy. John Beuchler, who directed Cellar Dweller (somehow that got a cover, but his F13 sequel, New Blood, did not?), was supposed to show, but didn’t, so I carried that one around all weekend for nothing.

All in all, it was a good con. My love of the franchise kept me entertained the entire time, which is more than I can say for some other horror cons I have attended recently. I wish I got to talk to more fans, because I love talking the movies (obviously) and it’s probably the only time I can guarantee I’ll be talking to someone who knows who Ted Hollister is or knows how many miles it is from Smith’s Grove to Haddonfield. Again, I just keep thinking back to all my childhood memories of seeing these movies for the first time (I can distinctly recall my first viewing for each film in the series), never in a million years thinking that some of those people would someday know me by name. Bring on the 35th!

P.S. If anyone reading this attended the con and took pics, PLEASE send any you may have of me on the panels, particularly III. I was obviously busy during those so as of right now I have no photos to show my friends back home. They think I’m a liar!

* I met the former Laurie Strode once... not my favorite celeb experience.

** Backstage, I got to talk about my Navy NCIs episode with him! He was the big guest star in the episode in which I extra’d in. That was awesome.

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RIP Uncle Forry

This is a bummer, but at least he went peacefully and gracefully after a long career. In a way, any horror or sci-fi fan owes at least some gratitude to the man, even if you've never read a single issue of Famous Monsters Of Filmland or taken part in any of his other endeavors. He will be missed, but perhaps more sad a fact: there will never be another soul to embrace and also elevate the genre as much as he did.

Forrest J. Ackerman; 1916-2008

(For those totally unfamiliar with him, the 2nd to latest issue of Rue Morgue had a wonderful series of articles/interviews about/with him - a good a place as any for an introduction!)

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What Is Horror?

No, I'm not getting existential on you. But I wanted to address the fact that some of the films I’ve reviewed (such as yesterday’s The Clown Murders) are not really horror films in the traditional sense. See, in this case, that’s not my fault - the DVD was made to look like a horror film (and even calls it one on the back). So just in case some folks were wondering what criteria I use for whether or not I can consider a film “horror”, here is a list, fairly complete. A film only has to meet one of these criteria for me to count it (I have no end date in sight for this thing, I can’t be too choosy!).

1. The IMDb lists it as a horror film. It’s the web’s most exhaustive and (nowadays) accurate encyclopedia for films, so I sort of trust their judgment.
2. The film was covered extensively on sites like Bloody, Shock, DreadCentral, etc. I’m not saying they just reviewed it - Bloody reviewed T4 for Christ’s sake - but if interviews with cast or crew were posted, or writers from the site(s) were invited to the set, then it’s a pretty safe bet that it’s OK to count it among horror films.
3. The filmmakers or studio try to sell it as one. Case in point - Perfect Getaway. I saw the film at a test screening, and the invite called it a horror film, and pointed out the horror credits of its stars in lieu of ones that would draw in a more general crowd (i.e. “Timothy Olyphant (Scream 2)” as opposed to “Timothy Olyphant (Die Hard 4)”. But without that in my head, I would have just thought it was an action-thriller. I’ve always counted thrillers, but I mean thriller in a Fatal Attraction or Duel type way, not chase/fighting types.
4. It was suggested by site readers. A good example would be Gozu. I didn’t think that movie was a horror film at all, but when 3 or 4 readers went out of their way to suggest it for HORROR MOVIE A DAY, I had to take their word for it. Either that, or you folks are trying to break my streak.
5. It can easily fit into one of my established sub-genres. For example, Monsters vs. Aliens - well, shit, the title is two genres right there (plus a 3rd, for animated). Yeah it’s a kid’s movie and it’s a comedy, but it’s still a monster movie, no matter how you slice it, and a lot of the humor stemmed from parodying or referencing legit horror films like Them or whatever. Which leads us to...
6. It is of primary interest to horror fans. There was a movie called Brutal Massacre that I watched about a year ago, and it was a mockumentary about the hapless crew of a low budget horror movie. Only die hard horror fans would appreciate the humor in a number of scenes (in fact, most of them were only funny if you knew the story behind director Steven Mena’s film Malevolence), and the cast was largely made up of horror icons like Gunnar Hansen and Ken Foree. So while Fangoria fans would eat this shit up, someone like my mom, who wouldn’t know John Carpenter from John Kramer, couldn’t possibly appreciate the bulk of the film’s humor.
7. This one ties into six, but if it’s ABOUT horror, it can count. Rob Zombie’s 4.5 hr Halloween documentary, for example - there’s no way I’d ever have the time to watch that thing plus an actual horror movie for the day, And even though it doesn’t qualify because I’ve seen it a million times, something like Ed Wood would be an acceptable entry, I think.

Anyway, I hope this helps... hopefully I’ve provided a valid excuse for any questionable entry you might have encountered over the past 2+ years. One time a director found his review here after he had been reading the site just as a fan, and was surprised as he didn’t think it was a horror movie (it was about a serial killer. I guess that would be reason 8 - if your movie’s about a serial killer I think it’s reasonable to call it a horror film), and since then I’ve considered doing something like this.

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Request!

Some of you may have noticed that the format for the reviews has changed some since the site's inception (with the "please go on" option, adding the source of the movie, etc). When time permits, I am going back to fix the older reviews so that everything is nice and consistent, but as you might expect, this is a time consuming and boring-ass process. Once I am done a batch of updates, I don't always feel like going back to check all the links and what not. So if you think of it, whenever reading a review that has other reviews linked within it, please check the link to make sure it a. works and b. is correct? Much appreciated.

I'd ask to check the Amazon links as well but that is forbidden per their TOS. Big Brother is skimming!!!

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Links!

Many of you have posted the link to your blog in a variety of threads, and due to a recent increased Bloody D workload (mainly due to Halloween) I haven't had as much time as I would like to check them all out. So let's make it simple for me and for the other HMAD readers to check out what you have to say!

Simply leave your blog link and maybe a quick description of what its about in the comments of this thread (even if you have already posted it elsewhere) - I'd like to be able to check out at least a few each day.

I will also be overhauling all the links on the right - this will include a (approximate) weekly 'revolving' list of a few random reader blogs. Since like 99% of you came from Blogger putting me as one of their random selections on the front page, I figure I should do something similar in return.

And I've also noticed many of you have added me to your blog list - THANKS SO MUCH! You guys rock.

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HMAD Screening: Scream!

Told you I wasn't going far and that the site wasn't dead! Indeed, I'll have a new review up within 48 hours! Not too shabby.

But I wanted to let you know about the next HMAD screening as soon as possible, because let's face it - it's not every month I screen a seminal film from my generation or the one that helped pave the way for this very site in the first place. As I explained in my review and probably in a dozen others, I had kind of let my love of horror fall by the wayside in the 90s, until Wes Craven and Kevin Williamson's Scream brought it back - and I haven't "abandoned" it since. It was the first movie I ever went back to see a 2nd (actually 3!) time in theaters, and while its sequels have all disappointed in one way or another, my love of the first movie (and Neve Campbell) is so strong that I give it the same sort of benefit of the doubt that I give new Halloween entries: excitement and optimism, not dread.

So I am beyond stoked to see it again on the big screen in glorious 35mm, and I'd like to invite 224 of you to join me! The screening is Saturday, April 20th at 11:59 pm at the New Beverly Cinema, located 2 blocks west of La Brea at 7165 Beverly Blvd, Los Angeles 90036. Tickets are a mere 8 bucks (cash or credit at the door; the former is preferred), or you can buy in advance via BrownPaperTickets. I'll try for a Q&A (Wes has come before, for Shocker!), but either way I'll have some stuff to give away before the movie begins - I've recently lost the need to keep so many DVDs around :).

As always, feel free to steal the poster and blog/tweet/Facebook away to your heart's content to tell your friends about the screening, because I'd really like to pack the joint for this one (ideally it would be like the crowd in Scream 2 for "Stab", though we should refrain from killing Omar Epps if he's there). Last month's attendance was pretty low for Final Destination 2, and that's the one everyone loves! I've been truly touched with all your comments this week about how sad you are that the site won't be updated every day anymore - coming to the screenings is a damn good way to keep me inspired to write up reviews and such! Viva la HMAD!

Tweet

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WATCH THIS, NOW!

This kid is my hero. Bless you sir. Lot of effort, some damn fine editing, and a well thought out critique. Makes even my reviews look like ignorant slams.

(This is just part 1, be sure to watch all four (!) parts for the whole story)

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Live Tweeting!

I've started a new feature called HMAD Live Tweeting, which you can follow at HERE at Twitter (you don't need an account). Tonight (March 3) at 6:30 PST (9:30 Eastern) I'll be watching HORROR PLANET, aka INSEMINOID, via Netflix Instant View. So if you're Netflix equipped, you can watch along and read my reactions live (sorta)! Might be some snafus and such, but hopefully it will more or less work and become a monthly feature here at HMAD! Also, since Xbox has Netflix AND Twitter capabilities - maybe there's a way to combine them on your TV? I haven't used Twitter there yet. Give it a shot!

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Rob Zombie Interview #3!

I didn't realize until I sat down that this was actually the 3rd time I talked to Rob Zombie since I started writing for Bloody Disgusting. The first was at SDCC 2007, before I had seen Halloween (a few days before, as it would turn out). The 2nd was a phoner, near the film's DVD release. Now he's out for Halloween II, and it was probably my favorite yet. It was much longer than the last Comic Con one, and in a better setting (a room to ourselves, as opposed to a giant cafeteria type room with people conducting their own interviews throughout). Of course, on the flipside, this meant he could easily murder me if he recognized me, but either he didn't or he believes me when I say that I think Halloween II will be a vast improvement on the original (which I honestly do - have you seen that trailer? It looks awesome!). So enjoy this interview, and count down the days (25 at most) until I see II and post my hopefully positive review!

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Attn: Those Who Really Loved Halloween

(originally posted on September 3, 2007)

Do you want to be the only person besides me to ever have a headlined review on HMAD? Now is your chance!!! If you really enjoyed Rob Zombie's Halloween and want to explain why, put your fingers where your mouth is (what?) and write out a good review. A few rules though:

1. You must provide a name. If I am getting my manhood, sexual history with my own mother, and mental capabilities called into question for disliking it, you should follow suit.
2. You should REVIEW the film - not DEFEND it against folks like me. Pretend as if you saw it early and no other review is out yet.
3. I'm no grammar wizard, and even spell-check can fuck up sometimes, but it should be in genuine, coherent, and simple basic goddamn English. If you spell every fourth word IN CAPS or in any sort of T9/l33t speak, or if I see the "word" RULZ or any of its multiple-Z variants in the body of the review, I will delete it without hesitation.

Entries should be sent to my Gmail address (FrightReviews at). I will pick the best and post it by Friday, September 7th.

Good luck!

p.s. If the only reason you liked the movie is that it was better than Resurrection or that it had nudity, please see rule #3.

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Excuse Me, Mr. Bayer...

Platinum Dunes' Nightmare On Elm St puppe-, er, director Samuel Bayer gave the following to Fangoria (full article HERE):

“Look, I’m gonna catch a lot of heat for this,” he begins. “But some of these fans on the web should just get up, stretch, breathe, go outside and get some fresh air, maybe get a girlfriend and just get a life. They should see the movie and make up their own minds.”

Well sir, I am married, and on Saturday we went for a nice hike before we went to a big gathering with friends before heading off to another friend's birthday party.

Your movie is still lousy.

Sincerely,
BC

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Frozen is here!!

OK folks, once again I am going to call on you to support independent horror. Adam Green (Hatchet, Spiral, producer of Grace) new film Frozen is coming out this Friday (February 5th) and as with his others, the independent nature of the release (via Anchor Bay) means that it doesn't have the TV spots and trailers before big releases that other films get. So just in case you weren't aware that the film was coming out, it IS. Again, THIS FRIDAY! Where is it playing, you may ask? Well, head on over to Ariescope's Official Site for a listing of theaters already known (the list will be updated as more bookings come in), and keep reading for a mini-review for the film and the reasons why you, horror fan, NEED to go check out the film in theaters.

Now, I know that the Super Bowl is on Sunday, so try to make it out on Friday and/or Saturday if possible. The per theater average on those two days will determine whether Frozen opens wider in the following weeks. And then on Sunday, when those ads that cost more than Frozen's entire production budget start to bore you, tell your friends about the film. Everyone wins. Except for whoever loses the Super Bowl.

The great thing about all three of Green's films is that they are very different from each other. Whereas Hatchet was a comedic slasher and Spiral was a psychological thriller, this is a straight up realistic survival horror film, not unlike Open Water (but with far more likable characters, played by far better actors to boot) or The Ruins (trapped/injured/lacking supplies parts, not singing plants parts). So even if you didn't like his other films, that doesn't mean you won't like this, as they share nothing in common beyond a quick cameo by Green himself.

If you haven't seen the trailer yet, I would actually urge you not to, as I find it a bit too spoiler-y and I think it's best to go in knowing only the setup (as I did) - 3 kids get trapped on a ski lift and rescue will likely not be coming for 5 days. You think it sounds silly, but I ensure you - the situation is depicted quite plausibly, and their various attempts to get to safety (i.e. the things you would think to do - such as climb up and slide down the cable) are just as dangerous and life threatening as the freezing cold that they are primarily concerned with escaping. Plus, the fact that all three characters are incredibly personable (Shawn Ashmore especially) will keep your cynicism at bay anyway.

So again, check the film out if you can, and if you like it: tell your friends, pimp it out on Twitter and Facebook, etc. You guys are the marketing team for the film - look at what similar tactics did for Paranormal Activity. That movie was originally going to play only at midnight screenings in the big cities, but with the demand it got (primarily through online sources), it eventually opened wide and went on to be the highest grossing horror film in ages. And Frozen doesn't have a shitty new CGI ending. In fact, as was the case with Hatchet, there is no CGI whatsoever in the film - the actors (and crew!) really were on a working ski lift in the middle of winter in Utah. Even if you for some reason don't dig the film, you gotta respect the balls and dedication of its cast and crew to deliver a 100% real horror film, without any phoniness or Hollywood leisure (certain actors/actresses turned the film down due to the fact that they didn't want to be "uncomfortable" (i.e. cold) during the shoot).

So, yeah. Support Frozen. I've said it a million times, but I'll say it again - original horror films won't get made if the few that do manage to get into theaters get ignored. Paranormal and Zombieland (originals) did great while Saw VI (sequel) and Stepfather (remake) tanked - let's keep that momentum going this Friday.

BC

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FrightFest UK Lineup Announced!

As most of you know (and some of you even pitched in for - I am insanely grateful to you!), I'll be headed to London at the end of August for the annual, highly lauded FrightFest. My excitement is already nearly unbearable (it's also the first vacation I've had in over 5 years), and it just got worse today: they have announced the full lineup! In addition to Hatchet II (!!!) and The Last Exorcism, both of which were announced earlier, a whopping 30 films, many of which haven't shown anywhere, are also on the bill, and you can bet me a room temperature beer I'm going to see as many as humanly possible. And I have seen a few already (including The Loved Ones, which if you're going should not be missed!), so I will have a little free time to write and possibly upload some quick video reviews via webcam. Rest assured, Horror Movie A Day will not be starved for reviews!

Some other highlights include Tobe Hooper presenting a remastered Texas Chain Saw Massacre, the premiere of the long-awaited The Tortured (from the Saw producers), and a horror quiz game hosted by Dead Set's Andy Nyman (yes, I will try to enter). In addition, there's a second screen with alternate entertainment, including the fun Star Wars homage Fan Boys, and (YES!) Burning Bright, in which the lovely Briana Evigan fights off a tiger that has invaded her home, which features a small role by none other than Meat Loaf. A shame I will have to miss whatever is on the main screen to see it, but goddamn if that doesn't sound like the most awesome movie ever.

Head on over to the official FrightFest site to check out the full lineup, and also info on tickets (on sale tomorrow, July 3rd) if you are planning to go. It's just 8 weeks away!

P.S. Not to be a money grubber but just FYI, donations are still welcome. It's a very expensive trip (plane ticket alone was almost 2 weeks' pay), plus it will obviously cut into my paycheck by being out of work for a week. So even a few bucks is very helpful and even more appreciated! Help me eat while I'm there!!! :)

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