The Eye (2008)

FEBRUARY 4, 2008


I know a guy who, no exaggeration, likes any horror movie in which the female lead is hot. It’s literally all it takes for him to enjoy the movie. Not that this is uncommon (I’m pretty sure Sophia Bush makes up for 90% of my Hitcher enjoyment), but with him there is literally no exception to the rule. For proof, I will offer that he even likes Captivity. So it’s probably a foregone conclusion that he will love The Eye, starring the admittedly hot but utterly boring Jessica Alba.

Like some of her peers (but to the extreme degree), Alba would best be used as a model. Her presence doesn’t exactly send moviegoers flocking to the theater (were you one of the 12 people that saw Awake or Into The Blue?), and for good reason: she can’t act worth a shit. The only somewhat decent performance she ever turned in was in Idle Hands, because she was required to be the dream girl and nothing else. But pity the poor sod that has to direct her in a film where she has any sort of dramatic arc to play, because it’s clearly just not in her repertoire. However, if she’s on the cover of Maxim, the issue will sell out.

But even someone who COULD act probably couldn’t save this dull bore of a film. Granted, seeing the original didn’t help, since it barely changes a damn thing (more on that later) and even copies the damn blocking and camerawork from the original on a few key scenes. Hell, even my wife, who probably got a bit tense during Troll, only jumped once in the entire film. If they can’t even scare HER with their film, then they have truly failed.

As for the changes to the original, there are only two worth noting. One, the specialist guy who helps out the girl is kind of a dick in this one. Alessandro Nivola (always a welcome addition to a film) plays the guy, and you half expect him to just punch Alba in the face a few times, since he’s so clearly annoyed by her constant whining (or horrible acting). But he also plays the role admirably half-assed, as if he was as bored as we were (though he’s also clearly amused by some of his dialogue, making it all the more entertaining). Kudos to Nivola for making the film watchable (Parker Posey should have fallen in this category too, but while she looks good, she has absolutely nothing to do).

The other major change is the ending. Like the original, Sydney sees an accident about to occur, and tries to warn everyone off. But here she succeeds. Everyone lives, “yay”! Not a single person doubts the crazy woman running around the highway telling them to get out of their cars. In the original, NO ONE believed her, and they all died. Not only is this a much better ending from an asshole’s point of view, but it also gave the film a bittersweet coda – the girl finally understood what it was like for the eye’s previous owner to have this gift and not be able to help anyone with it. But that’s all gone now, and Alba’s hammy final narration (sprinkled throughout the film, and she can’t even do that well) sounds like it was taken from the Daredevil script with all the “blindness is a blessing and a curse” nonsense.

So it’s not scary, it doesn’t have much of a moral, and the acting is either bad or bored. Is there anything to recommend? Yeah, there’s a fucking GREAT Dark Knight trailer attached. Check it out. Otherwise, no, there isn’t, unless you haven’t seen the original. Or you’re that guy.

What say you?


  1. Thank you.
    I love you.

  2. I miss the old days of big studio, teen-targeted horror for many reasons, but mainly for the fact that (dated clothes and hairstyles aside) most of the "kids" in say, your typical (semi-) mainstream F13 rip off, ranged from average-looking to flat out fugly. This made the movies seem less like 90 min commercials for some new high school drama on the CW, but also might have filtered out some of the only-likes-it-because-it-"has hot chicks and tits"-rif-raf, like THAT guy.

    Of course, to contradict myself, there was a lot more actual T&A in the teen-marketed horror world back then...but that, and of course the wonderful non-CGI gore, made the 80s teensploitation all the more enjoyable for me in that I knew what I was watching was therefor more easily categorized as "sleaze". The PG-13 ratings usually attached to these current dull, tame teen horror movies don't do much to help legitimize them in my book ... my admittedly jaded, geeky, somewhat dated book.

    Thanks for providing a forum to rant..


  3. I can't say I liked "The Eye" just didn't do it for me. I like your blog though, it's pretty cool I must say.

  4. Dude, I wished I read your post before watching it. It was a complete waste of time. Even my younger brother slept though it! And he's not even 8!

    My sisters are total wimps, though. They thought it was scary. (Haha, yeah, right)

    Thanks for the interesting and spot on review.

    ~JoshCarter4 A.K.A. Sharrif~

    P.S. You're right about Jessica Alba not knowing how to act. All the movies with her in it (except Idle Hands) were a total waste of time.

  5. I was in Penang, Malaysia for work and it was a slow day so a buddy and headed down to the movies. It was this, Meet the Spartans, or Kung Fu Dunk. We opted for this, should have went with the Dunk. I fell asleep 3 times. The only thing that woke me up was the orchestra strikes whenever they threw a ghost at us. I will save my Ringgit next time and buy a bootleg DVD. The trailer was worth the price of admission, I can see that if Heath was channeling Joker why he was self-medicating.

  6. Whoever is the guy at the beginning, he's pathetic.

    Btw, I thought the movie was decent from the trailer, and I really like Alessandro Nivola. But yeah, Alba can't act. I remember the show 'Dark Angel' and how AWFUL she was in it.

  7. saw the original..not the new one.
    i forgot about the crazy traffic crowd death scene.


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