The Hamiltons

JULY 10, 2007

GENRE: INDEPENDENT, PSYCHOLOGICAL, VAMPIRE
SOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)

Folks kept telling me that The Hamiltons had a twist ending. I like a good twist ending as much as the next guy (unless I’m sitting next to M. Night), plus I was told there was light brother-sister incest (hey-o!!!) which is always a plus in a horror movie*. But on the flipside, Hamiltons was one of the After Dark movies, which, other than Gravedancers, meant the best I could expect was “meh”.

Well, I was right. Hamiltons is the very definition of “Meh.” It’s not a bad film, but it’s not very engaging or exciting either (and it certainly isn't scary). And the ending is not a twist to anyone who understands how to pay the fuck attention to a film as it plays. Jesus Christ. Before the 5 minute mark, we see the mother, pregnant, and the main kid looking at his teeth in the mirror. These are not throwaway moments: THE FUCKING THING IN THE BASEMENT IS THE BABY AND MAIN DUDE’S BECOMING A VAMPIRE. It’s not a twist, it’s the logical conclusion of the film. Yeah Jaws has a “twist” ending too, it turns out it’s a shark!

Although they come off as idiots for pegging themselves “The Butcher Brothers” (they’re not brothers, they’re not butchers), gotta give props to Mitchell Altieri and Phil Flores for pulling off a very good HD/DV image, though the differing image sources are quite obvious at times. I also dislike any director (who hasn’t earned it) that puts their credit over black when all the other credits are over film footage. Fuck you, we can read along if we want, we don’t need you to call attention to yourselves.

Incidentally, I would have seen the film last year at Screamfest, but since the directors showed up with an entourage expecting all their friends to get in for free, I was told not to go in (I was a volunteer), so they would hopefully be humbled by the fact that everyone in the audience was a friends of theirs instead of genuinely interested regular folks. Ah, the politics of horror movies!

At any rate, I wish more movies starred Joel Silver clones.

What say you?


*Hamiltons
is 20x longer than this short film that my friend Brady produced/edited, and yet accomplishes just as much: some horror, family squabbles, and a brother and sister making out. Enjoy!

7 comments:

  1. I enjoyed the Hamiltons, go fig, but I went to it expecting nothing, and for free, so it would have been hard to disappoint. Better than most of the crap I've been watching, lately.

    Hurray for Little Farm as well, it unnerves me so, and I love the soundtrack (all two songs of it).

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  2. I liked it too. But anyone who thought the ending was a 'twist' is a fucking idiot.

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  3. I rather enjoyed The Hamiltons as well. For a low budget vampire film it was pretty effective. I think you being set up to expect a twist may have dimished the experience for you. Then again maybe I just liked it more than it deserved because most of the After Dark Horrorfest films were so subpar. Loved The Abandoned though.

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  4. Yeah... I think this is one I'll like more on repeat viewings (if I'm ever able to have some - watching a 'new' movie every day really bites into my repeat/other type of movie watching...). Hopefully this years AD fest will be an improvement. As long as nothing is as bad as Dark Ride, I'm OK with it.

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  5. And the ending is not a twist to anyone who understands how to pay the fuck attention to a film as it plays. Jesus Christ. Before the 5 minute mark, we see the mother, pregnant, and the main kid looking at his teeth in the mirror. These are not throwaway moments: THE FUCKING THING IN THE BASEMENT IS THE BABY AND MAIN DUDE’S BECOMING A VAMPIRE. It’s not a twist, it’s the logical conclusion of the film. Yeah Jaws has a “twist” ending too, it turns out it’s a shark!

    AMEN! Thank God someone else finally said it! I'm tired of having people argue with me about this movie and how awesome the "twist" is when I had it figured out within the first 20 minutes of the movie (I say 20 because I wasn't sure if they were vampires or werewolves until I realized they were draining blood from the girl in the basement, not hacking off parts of her body, the rest of the movie I had figured out, right up to knowing that at the end, the kid was going to walk out of the basement room looking normal and it was supposed to be a shock, and the main kid was going to have problems getting along with his family until he takes the girl away at the end and kills her, then they'd all get along fine). I wanted to like The Hamiltons, but it failed to surprise me too much, and that was vastly annoying.

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  6. You're right. The ending wasn't much of a twist, but I think it was a lot more than a 'meh'. And as far as AfterDark goes, it's probably one of the better films released by their studio.

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  7. Agree on all counts. It was okay, at best. Then again, mediocre acting and cheap scene cuts irk me more than the average viewer. Thanks for all the great reviews you've posted.

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