Return Of The Boogeyman (1994)

MAY 23, 2009

GENRE: CRAP, SUPERNATURAL (?)
SOURCE: DVD (ONLINE RENTAL)

Since before I even saw the original Boogey Man, I had heard about the sequel that used a lot of footage from the original and generally sucked to boot. But since I kind of dug the first one, I wanted to see it anyway. Unfortunately, Return Of The Boogeyman is actually the THIRD film in the series; there is actually a straight up Boogeyman 2. Apparently, the thing I watched (Return) recycles footage from both 1 AND 2, which might explain why I hadn't the slightest goddamn clue what I was watching throughout most of the runtime.

Now, not having seen 2, I don't know which is footage from it and which is the new stuff. Someone on the IMDb - surely a place where no one ever exaggerates or simply makes shit up - claims that Return only has about seven minutes of new footage. If that's true, I assume its the bookends of the film, which involve the pantyhose wearing man running around on the beach while the extras pay him little mind, and then the ending where our "heroine" (so named because she is in the movie more than the other characters) gets into her car and sees the guy in her rearview mirror.

If THAT is true, and if I also take out the footage from the first movie that I can definitely place, then I guess Boogeyman 2 is about a band or group of filmmakers that live in or want to investigate the place where the murders from the first film occurred. Or something. There's also a beach house, and a psychiatrist....

Seriously, this movie is fucking appalling. Recycling footage or not, there is no excuse for it to be so goddamn incoherent, not to mention wildly inconsistent in terms of film stock. Some scenes are blue filtered, others look fine, sometimes they give the footage from the 1st movie a "flashback" look, sometimes not... even the shit in my Decrepit Crypt pack shows more professionalism.

The weirdest thing about the footage is that they apparently didn't get the rights to the audio? Because it's all but completely muted, while the girl who is telling the story (if its supposed to be the same girl that's in the scenes we are re-seeing, her name is different) just narrates exactly what we see. Also, it makes the movie look just as bad as this one. Nice work.

There is only one moment in the entire film where I was entertained. It's at the very end (the one nice thing I can say about this movie, it's short), when all the footage has been used up. Our "heroine" has seemingly rid herself of her fears by talking about things that she wasn't around to see, and then says "Now I must try on my stockings." Apparently, that was the fear she was trying to overcome; the killer in her nightmares wore pantyhose on his head, and it has kept her from being able to dress appropriately. Amazing.

And of course, now I have no choice but to see Boogeyman 2 just to ease my mind as to how all of this fucking crap fits together. Fuck you, Ulli Lommel (and listed director Deland Nuse; I guess Lommel only "directed" the footage from the other movies this time around).

What say you?

And now, Horror Movie A Day and Happy Hour Comics would like to present the newest in an ongoing series of HMAD-inspired comic strips. I hope you enjoy!! (Click to enlarge)

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3 comments:

  1. I think that might be all the review anyone needs, lol... nice lead-in! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. You poor bastard. You had to sit through something Uli Lommell directed? I just recently wrapped up a series where I basically egged my firends into giving me movies to review based on how much they thought I'd hate them. One suggested BTK Killer and BTK Killer was by far the worst piece of shit among a list that included everything from An American Carol to Little Man. Actually, it was probably the worst film I've ever seen. Seriously. That movie almost made me stop watching movies.

    My condolences.

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  3. Boogeyman 2 has quite a convoluted history.

    First there was "Revenge of the Boogeyman" aka Boogeyman 2.

    This was about 60% footage from Boogeyman 1, with an inserted story that BM1 really happened, and now Lacy is going around Hollywood trying to get it made into a movie (with Lommell playing the director). I think there was a subplot about a butler having a piece of the original mirror.

    Then in 2002, Lommell filmed some new (camcorder) footage of himself (as the director he played in part 2) supposedly being interviewed by the police.

    Then he re-edited Boogeyman 1 AGAIN, inserted this new camcorder footage into it, along with some of the new footage from BM2 (which, I shit you not, he fast forwards trough) and called this new abomination "Boogeyman 2: Redux" (AKA "Boogeyman 2: Directors cut") - and it's the only version currently available.

    so, in short, Lommell has filmed 1.5 Boogeyman movies and released 4! - I haven't seen the extras from BM2:DC myself, but I hear that he is threatening us with 3 MORE Boogeyman films (parts 5-7, presumably 2:Redux is also part 4)

    ReplyDelete

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