Horror Movie A Day's 1st Annual End Of Year Awards!

With all the double (or triple, and in one case quintuple) feature days, despite starting in February, it’s safe to assume I have seen about 365 horror movies this year. Obviously only about ¼ of those were “new” movies, since many (too many, if you ask me) were obscure titles from my budget sets. But due to the sheer amount of films to choose from, and the fact that I already compiled a “standard” Best/Worst of 2007 list for Bloody Disgusting (which you can read here, and check out the comments, where I am hilariously accused of not watching enough movies!!!), I thought I’d do something different here. I toyed with the idea of doing a top 100 list (not a typo) but I thought that would be both frustrating and insane. So I’ll just make up a bunch of oddball categories at random (plus some typical ones, for good measure) and present that for you to enjoy/argue with. Enjoy!

BEST REMAKE: THE HITCHER
I love this stupid movie so much. I like it more every time I see it in fact. The odd convenience store clerk, the endless All-American Rejects loop at the beginning, my beloved Sophia Bush jumping unscathed out of a truck that just blew up, “I’m fucking horny too!”, the use of David Soul on the soundtrack, Neil McDonough barely keeping a straight face through his dialogue, and of course, the Nine Inch Nails music video that comes out of nowhere... it’s hands down the most ridiculous and hilarious horror movie of the year, possibly of all time. I could care less about how it stacks up to the original, it’s a masterpiece in its own idiotic way.

WORST REMAKE: HALLOWEEN
I’m sick of writing about it.

BEST BUDGET PACK FIND: CATHY’S CURSE
This gem of inept filmmaking (WHO THE FUCK IS THAT GUY LEAVING THE HOUSE?), mean-spirited little girls, off-kilter dialogue laced with outlandish profanity, and the least subtle foreshadowing of all time deserves to be seen by every man, woman, child, and ghost. Along with Scream Bloody Murder (a close 2nd for this category), the Chilling Classics set’s cost was instantly validated.

WORST BUDGET PACK FIND: SLASHED DREAMS
The fact that it wasn’t even a horror film didn’t bother me. The fact that not a single goddamn thing happened in the entire film, and that it ended without a single plot thread resolved, and that they tried to sell it on Robert Englund’s name despite the fact that he’s only in the film for 5 minutes (if that) and doesn’t even play a bad guy DID. Some entertainment may be had from the goofy hippie music, but not enough to warrant a view.

(note – since I haven’t gone through Decrepit Crypt or Horror Classics in their entirety, I did not include any of their films for consideration)

BEST REASON FOR DOING THIS: ROSEMARY’S BABY
Not that it’s one of my all time favorites or anything, but the fact that I was forcing myself to watch an unseen horror movie every day got me around to finally seeing this much heralded landmark horror film, which I had owned on DVD for years and STILL didn’t bother watching until now.

WORST REASON FOR DOING THIS: DARK RIDE
My decision to also watch a movie I HAD seen every day in October, one that I often mentioned but never actually reviewed, resulted in having to sit through this goddamn piece of shit again. I fucking hate you, Dark Ride, and I always will. Go the fuck to hell.

BEST MOVIE IN WHICH THE SCREENWRITER PLAYED A MENTALLY CHALLENGED MAN: DEVIL TIMES FIVE
This movie was glorious anyway, but the fact that the screenwriter cast himself as a guy who was a few bricks short of a building was some sort of meta-icing on the cake. Plus he got seduced by a hot brunette woman, an odd recurring theme in some of the other films I watched.

WORST MOVIE IN WHICH THE SCREENWRITER PLAYED A MENTALLY CHALLENGED MAN: THE ATTIC
Writer Tom Malloy played “Frankie” in this turd, a guy of unknown mental deficiency (he seemingly just watched Sean Penn in the trailer for I Am Sam and went from there). He offsets playing this thankless role by also giving himself the film’s only on-screen action, a fairly nice throat slashing. Of course, since he’s the only character in the film you even KIND OF like, this doesn’t bode well for the rest of the running time.

BEST USE OF PROFANITY: CATHY’S CURSE
(In response to a medium, i.e. a psychic, coming to the home to rid the girl of her curse)
“Medium? More like EXTRA RARE PIECE OF SHIT!”

WORST USE OF PROFANITY: SASQUATCH HUNTERS
No specific line. Because it’s almost surreal how just about every single person in this movie manages to sound so unconvincing when using profanity. Not a single time (and there are many) that they drop the F-word does it sound like anything that the actor would actually say. Plus the movie sucked to boot.

BEST MOVIE FEATURING A FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS CAST MEMBER: THE RETURN
Hell, this doesn’t even really count, since The Return was an October Extra, but since the rest of the cast made some of the worst movies I’ve seen this year, it was all I had.

WORST MOVIE FEATURING A FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS CAST MEMBER: THE PUMPKIN KARVER
Technically, Rise: Blood Hunter, with a small performance by QB1 himself, Matt Saracen ne Zach Gilford, was worse. But The Pumpkin Karver got the edge because I rented it SPECIFICALLY for Minka Kelly, and she didn’t even look good in it thanks to a terrible blond dye job. Incidentally, both her and FNL star Kyle Chandler popped up in The Kingdom, which was the year’s best non-horror movie, IMO.

BEST REVIVAL SCREENING: POLTERGEIST
Ah, to finally see this masterpiece on the big screen. Bliss. The fact that it was coupled with a Q&A and a big, fully appreciative crowd made it even better. Plus, the botched attempt to do one on a wide scale in the early fall was met with such universal disdain, I am glad I opted for the ‘real’ one earlier in the year instead.

WORST REVIVAL SCREENING: TREMORS
A bad print, with bad sound, and a nearly empty theater. This should have been the most fun, but it was actually kind of depressing.

MOVIE I AM GLAD I RE-WATCHED: GREMLINS
It’s a lot funnier than I remember, thanks to the in-jokes I am now privy to. Plus it had been too long. This will hopefully become part of my annual holiday viewing once again. Runner Up: Dr. Giggles, a movie I DIDN'T like that much as a kid but now I love.

MOVIE I AM SAD I RE-WATCHED: CRITTERS
I remember this being on par with Gremlins. But I was damned wrong. A waste of a large supporting cast and the fact that most of the film is essentially inert were things my memories didn’t recall. Oh well.

STRANGEST SUGGESTION FOR A BAD FILM: VAMPIRE ASSASSIN
My friend Devin, who writes for CHUD, recommended this film to me after the guy who wrote/directed/starred in it turned out to be the same guy who moved his furniture. Amazing. Terrible film, but amazing story.

STRANGEST SUGGESTION FOR A GOOD FILM: BIG BAD WOLF
Someone said “hey watch this movie, it’s fucking terrible.” Not only is that a terrible sales pitch, but the movie was kind of awesome. Combining a werewolf movie with the plot of The Stepfather is pretty intriguing, and, lest you forget, the film has a scene in which the hero’s girlfriend has to blow his stepdad.

SADDEST REALIZATION I WATCH TOO MANY MOVIES: THE COVENANT: BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL
A car pulls up, and the camera shows the feet of someone getting out. “That’s Michael Madsen” I said to myself, and I was right. I recognized his fully covered feet, somehow. Christ.

HAPPIEST REALIZATION I WATCH TOO MANY MOVIES: THE HOWLING
Had I not FINALLY seen Rosemary’s Baby two weeks prior, I wouldn’t have fully appreciated the Roger Corman cameo in The Howling, which was a loving homage to Bill Castle’s cameo in Rosemary. This is why you need to watch movies in order!

BEST EXCUSE FOR ME TO WATCH MORE J-HORROR: BLOODY REUNION
This was basically an American style slasher movie, with an ending that is essentially the same as High Tension’s (only it didn’t infuriate me), all with a decidedly Eastern flavor. Good stuff.

BEST EXCUSE FOR ME TO WATCH LESS J-HORROR: TELL ME SOMETHING
The boringest serial killer movie ever made. And it was endless. For a while I considered the notion that the film might have to count for two entries, since it seemed like it would take two days for it to finally end.

BEST MOVIE I CAN’T REMEMBER ASKING FOR: RAW MEAT
This arrived from Netflix (or Blockbuster) one day, and I wasn’t even sure if it was something I asked for in the first place. I didn’t even know if it was horror! But it was, with lots of British humor. I even went out and bought it after I returned it to Netflix; I hope the next guy to rent it follows suit.

WORST MOVIE I CAN’T REMEMBER ASKING FOR: DOOMED
This one was recorded on my DVR one day. I can only assume it was in error, or a drunken stupor. Because even the description of the goddamn thing made it sound unwatchable. At least I can pretty much safely say I have seen the lowest point in the entire zombie movie canon.

BEST “I MADE IT!” MOMENT: BLOGS OF NOTE
Sometime in August, Blogger put Horror Movie A Day on their “blogs of note” list, which is how like 90% of you guys found this goofy page in the first place. Wooo! Runner up: Rue Morgue mention.

WORST “I MADE IT!” MOMENT: SOMEONE’S PARTY
I was at a party and my friend introduced me to the guy who produced Sasquatch Hunters, a film I had torn apart a few weeks prior. I felt like a jerk because my friend was under the assumption that I had liked the film, and I had to explain that no, I did not. Luckily the guy didn’t think much of it either.

USER POLL WINNERS:

BEST WIDE RELEASE: GRINDHOUSE
WORST WIDE RELEASE: CAPTIVITY
BEST DTV/LIMITED RELEASE: WRONG TURN 2
WORST DTV/LIMITED RELEASE: RISE: BLOOD HUNTER

And there you have it, the first annual Horror Movie A Day Awards! Next year's categories will probably be different, at least, for the cast of Friday Night Lights' sake anyway, I hope so (though I just discovered that Scott "Street" Porter is in the PG-13 Prom Night remake, so maybe this category will come back after all!). Onward with 2008!

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Screenshots RIP?

I just noticed that a lot of older reviews are missing the screenshots. Not sure what that's about... I'll look into it. If you notice one missing, feel free to drop me a line (via comment or email, doesn't matter) and if possible, I will get them back.

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UPDATED! HMAD Screening: THE LOVED ONES

First off, I want to apologize for all of the confusion and last minute changes to the HMAD/Screamfest screening of The Loved Ones this Friday (June 1st, 11:59pm - the time hasn't changed at least!). I know it's frustrating and midnight movies are already a bit of a hassle, so to change things at all is certainly not ideal, let alone 2 days before the movie.

The reason that we had to change the venue is a sad one: the 35mm print we worked so hard to secure for the screening is no longer available. I don't think I'm supposed to explain why in detail, but let's just say that the MPAA is involved and Paramount doesn't want to challenge them. So it put Tugg in a bad position, because everyone is likely to assume it's their fault. I want to assure you that it is NOT Tugg's fault in any way, and in fact they've been trying for days to find a way to rent a digital projector for the Bev to use so they could show the DCP (Digital Cinema Package) that they are using for all of the other Loved Ones screenings in Chicago, Austin, etc. Unfortunately they were unable to find one in time, and the studio wouldn't help out, so the New Beverly couldn't be an option.

Of course, none of this would have happened if the studios weren't so hellbent on ditching 35mm for inferior, glitchy digital versions. It is a real slap in the face to film fans that all of this could have been avoided if they weren't treating 35mm as some sort of special novelty like vinyl releases. The fact that they only have a single print - one that might never get to be seen again - is disgusting.

But back on point, needless to say we had to abandon the Bev (which sickens me) and go to our 2nd pick, the Mann's Chinese 6. I just saw a film there last night (Snow White - not great but technically astounding at times) and I assure you that their digital projection is terrific. But feeling that wouldn't be enough of a consolation to those who were excited to see the film at the Bev on 35mm, Tugg has graciously offered to allow all existing ticket holders a free extra ticket, so they can bring a date. Needless to say, they can also get a refund if they no longer want to go. If you bought a ticket, you should have gotten an email about it this morning - check your inbox!

The rest of the evening is still on as planned. Screamfest and Horror Movie A Day are still having a pre-movie mixer at the El Coyote on Beverly Blvd, which is about a 5-10 minute drive from the Chinese (just take Highland back up to Hollywood blvd), and writer/director Sean Byrne will still be on hand for a Q&A with yours truly. And maybe, just maybe, I'll be a little more specific about what caused the last minute changes ;).

As always, feel free to steal the poster below and/or blog/tweet/Facebook about the screening! I want to see that place PACKED so that Paramount sees the value in the film and rolls it out to more cities during the month! Don't let your fellow horror fans down!

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HMAD Screening #4 - RAW MEAT!

If I were to make a list of the movies that made me glad I was doing Horror Movie A Day, Raw Meat (aka Death Line) would almost certainly be near the top. Even when I sat down to watch it I wasn't sure if I had ever heard of it, so I certainly never would have discovered it if not for multiple and excessive doses of daily horror. Therefore, I am THRILLED to be able to co-present the film at my beloved New Beverly Cinema on Saturday, May 8th, at 11:59 pm, in a glorious 35mm print. I know a lot of you probably haven't seen the film yet, so if you're in the Los Angeles area, you should definitely check it out. I would say it's technically the best film I've shown yet (as much as I love Shocker, I will be the first to admit that's it a flawed film, to say the least), and more in line with what I'd like to show on a regular basis (i.e. cool obscure movies). Tix are 7 bucks and as always I will have some DVDs to give away - come on down!!

P.S. You can also buy advance tickets at Brownpapertickets!

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Video Game Review: Resident Evil 5

I actually have bought two systems in order to play Resident Evil games. When I was 16 I saw the review for RE1 in Fangoria, and immediately ponied up what was then a ridiculous amount of money for a video game system (125 bucks I think?). And in 2004, having been more or less away from games for a while, I celebrated my new apartment by treating myself to a PS2, swayed by the promise of a newly discounted Code Veronica (19.99 for the “greatest hits” version).

(Side note - I also almost bought the network adapter for the PS2 some months later, in order to play the Outbreak games. But the guy at Gamestop told me not to - apparently they work on reverse commission?)

But I’ve had my Xbox360 for a few years now, so I didn’t have to shell out 400 bucks just to play the newest game in the series: the simply titled Resident Evil 5. Nor would it have been worth that much, but it was certainly worth the 60 bucks it cost to buy it (more than the combined total I’ve paid to own the other games in the series, which I always bought at used or discounted prices).

As always, a pair of folks, one you know (Chris Redfield) and one you don’t (Sheva something or other) are tracking down an outbreak of some virus with ties to the Umbrella corporation. And once again, what starts out with just some dogs and zombies (well, “infected” - sigh) eventually adds giant spiders, lickers, mutated giants, etc. And fucking Wesker, who apparently STILL isn’t dead. Haven’t I killed this guy like 3 times already?

The change is that instead of playing through with just one character and never seeing the other, like the first few games, or having a do nothing partner like in 4, your partner is an equal. She has great aim (which is occasionally annoying, more on that later), will help you out when you’re injured, and can be used to store much needed extra ammo or grenades. You probably don’t want to give her too many healing items - she tends to use them up quickly - but if you give her two guns and some ammo, she is invaluable. Also, certain boss fights require the use of a scene-specific weapon (like a flamethrower), and in these cases you want to let her use them, as she knows exactly what to do (unlike me, a human being who will just keep shooting at something until they realize they are wasting ammo).

You can also play co-op, either at the same console or over XBLive (or whatever they call the PS3 network). This works quite well, and it’s actually BETTER when one player is more advanced than the other. Now that I’ve finished the game and maxed out a couple of my weapons (and have infinite ammo for one of my handguns), I can go help out a buddy who is on one of the earlier levels, using my advanced guns and letting him take the ammo/loot drops, while still adding points to my game.

Points are important to OCD folks like me who need to collect everything in a game. Your rank at the end of a level determines how many points you get (i.e. an “A” rank on normal difficulty will get you 1000 points; there are 16 levels in the game), and the points can be spent on a variety of things, such as action figures, new costumes, graphic modes like “classic horror” (play the game in black and white), and unlimited ammo for your guns. Those guns take a ton of points; it’s unlikely an average player will be able to unlock more than two after one playthru. There are also 30 emblems throughout the game, shooting them is a requirement for some of the unlockables (in addition to using points). Needless to say, if you plan on getting everything, you can expect to take at least two, more likely three trips through the entire game, which lasts about 12-14 hours.

As for the gameplay, I quite enjoyed it. Some have griped about the “can’t move while you shoot” aspect, but those people are babies. First of all, that’s about the only thing left from the original incarnation of the game (long gone are the fixed angles, and ink ribbons have also been finally replaced with an auto-save system), and secondly - it adds much-needed intensity to the game. Without the fixed angles hiding things around corners (not to mention a music cue that starts whenever enemies are present, and stops as soon as all danger is eliminated), the game is rather low on scares and suspense (my only real gripe). Keeping you from running around shooting (or, more likely, retreating) keeps you on your toes, and also helps you aim better - you don’t want to be wasting ammo, especially in the later levels when it becomes more scarce (there’s hardly any “loot” in the final two levels).

I also enjoy the behind the shoulder camera, a la Gears of War. It was introduced in 4, but it works far better here in terms of aiming and moving around (though this may be due to my preference of the Xbox controller to the PS2/3 one). And I forget if 4 had it, but there’s a handy auto-equip function on the D-pad, which keeps you from having to root around in your inventory and selecting equip when you want to change guns. I can’t recall a single time where I (or my partner) got hung up on the geography, a huge problem in 4 for me. Chris can also strafe, finally. The system works so well that I would actually like to see the older games redone in this style, especially the original, which is still my favorite in terms of puzzle-solving (which is all but completely absent here) and the story.

Speaking of the story, I’ve long since given up trying to get a strong grasp on the plotlines of these games (it doesn’t help that they keep spreading them across every system - I’ve never played Zero or Umbrella Chronicles, or any of the hand-held spinoffs), but I got the gist of it. It’s nothing groundbreaking, but for once the plot allows a higher variety in locales. You’re not confined to a mansion or even a single city this time. You seemingly go all around Africa - there’s a village, a swamp, an oil field, a ship, a factory, plus a giant underground cave/temple that was apparently stolen from Tomb Raider. All locales feature crates or vases that store ammo or gold to steal, and the standard zombie enemies don’t change much, but the change in scenery is much appreciated. Plus, it keeps you from having to backtrack. Other than that temple level you’ll never need to traverse the same corridors and staircases more than once or twice.

Another minor gripe was the lack of any brain work. As I said, there aren’t any real puzzles to solve (the most complex involves pulling handles that can raise/lower staircases, but there’s no wrong way to do it), but the bosses all have the same pattern as well. All of them are burdened with giant orange sacks that you need to shoot. Capcom’s idea of mixing this up is to sometimes cover them up with black swarming tentacle-y things, but all it takes to remove it is more shooting. There are some timed sequences here and there, but it hardly qualifies as mixing things up. Only the level 2-3 boss manages to stick out, since you fight him from a truck and instead of orange things he has pink/purple things to shoot.

But as a purely visceral, action packed adventure, I can’t think of one that delivers as much excitement and scene variety. Gears of War is great, but the dingy locales blend together after a while. Upgrading weapons and unlocking new ones also gives you a sense of progress and achievement that is missing from the GoW games - you’re always using the game 6 guns throughout the game. Also, the reliance on good ol’ herbs (hey, what happened to blue herbs/poison?) and first aid sprays gives the game a sense of urgency, unlike Gears’ “Hey I’m almost dead so I gotta just duck for a while” system.

One thing they really dropped the ball on are Achievements (and I assume, Trophies). The usual “beat level X”/ “kill Y amount of guys with weapon Z” type ones are there, but other traditional ones are completely ignored when they would actually be more fitting for this particular game. For example, there is nothing for beating a level in a set amount of time, or going through a stage (or the whole game) without dying, or even playing through it in co-op. The Mercenaries mode is also entirely ignored. In addition, things that take FOREVER, such as upgrading every single weapon (without taking advantage of a glitch, this would probably take 10 playthrus), are only worth 30 points, whereas things you can get on the first level (deflecting an arrow with your knife) are worth 60. It’s still better than Dead Rising’s “everything is worth 20 points” setup, but still, they could have put a little more thought into both the achievements and their respective values, especially for a game that more or less requires multiple playthrus anyway.

On the technical side of things, the game is superb. The graphics are amazing (man, do NOT pull out your old games after playing this one. Even Code Veronica looks like an Atari graphic in comparison), and the sound is even better. The voice acting has come a long way since the older games (even though the dialogue is still ridiculous at times, it at least doesn’t SOUND as funny), and loading times are brief. One quirk I want to mention - the loading screens have a theoretically helpful “History of Resident Evil” timeline, but every time you start a new game session it starts over. So unless you play the entire game in one sitting, you’ll see the same initial group of facts (“1960 - Umbrella is founded by...”), and never make it past the early 80s.

The game may no longer resemble the originals, but then again, neither do other big name game franchises like Grand Theft Auto or Final Fantasy. But unlike those series, the overall story has remained intact (one other key franchise member shows up, saying who is kind of a spoiler, though it’s not incredibly difficult to guess), making the other changes easier to go along with. If you have ever enjoyed one of the games, you will probably like this. If you’re new to the series, just keep in mind that it is, at its core, a survival horror game, and retains some of the functionality of one. Run n’ gunners will probably hate it, but everyone else should definitely take the ride.

And it beats the shit out of Alone in the Dark at any rate.

What say you?

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Repo CD Now Available!

If you head on over to Amazon you can now buy the Repo Soundtrack CD for the criminally low cost of 12 bucks! It is also available on Itunes, but Repo director Darren Bousman is on a mission - and that mission is to get the Repo soundtrack to place above the Mamma Mia soundtrack on the Amazon sales chart. So help the man out!

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HMAD Screening: THE HOWLING

Hope you didn't make any plans for Saturday night just yet! THIS Saturday, June 1st, at 11:59pm I will be hosting a screening of Joe Dante's 1981 werewolf classic (and franchise starter) The Howling, on glorious 35mm! Come for the Rob Bottin FX, stay for all the smiley face stickers!

As always, it will be at the legendary New Beverly Cinema, located at 7165 Beverly Blvd in Los Angeles (90036), two blocks west of La Brea. Street parking is plentiful (try Formosa) and tickets are a mere 8 bucks at the door - and yes, they take credit cards now if you don't have cash. I tried to get Dante to come for Q&A, but alas he (and star Robert Picardo) are both out of town. However! I will have a nice consolation prize: one lucky attendee will go home with the brand new (as in, not even out yet!) Blu-Ray special edition of the film, courtesy of Shout! Factory. It's loaded with extras and a reversible cover with the original box art, and again, it doesn't even come out for another couple weeks, so you can be the envy of all your friends if you're the winner.

Until then, join me in drooling over the amazing poster my pal Jacopo Tenani designed for the event! My head got torn off! I love it!!! (click it to enlarge in all of its glory)

See you there!

P.S. I apologize for the short notice, but things happen and sometimes I can't give you weeks to come up with an excuse not to come :).

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HMAD Presents: A Bunch Of Awesome Movies Of The Decade

As a writer for Bloody Disgusting, I am often asked to write lists: the top 10 this, bottom 5 that, and I’ve never really been a big fan of the concept. Besides the fact that an alarming number of Bloody’s readers are ignorant brats who cannot possibly fathom for a second that you have a different opinion than they do and that you in must in turn be a “fucking idiot” for not including whatever film, I also find it incredibly difficult to quantify what makes a movie “great”. Entertainment value? Originality? Scare factor? Gore? Importance to the genre as a whole? All of these things have to be considered, and then ranked, which further complicates matters. My #1 is usually pretty easy, but how do I compare my surprising enjoyment with the newest Saw sequel next to a completely original and inventive indie like Paranormal Activity? The bottom ten is just as difficult - do I come down harder on big studio filmmaking by committee garbage like Stepfather or wholly inept DTV bullshit like Wrong Turn 3?

And that is why I am presenting this, the final “HMAD Presents” list of 2009 (and the only one that’s not a complete mockery of list-making in the first place). The films below range from terrible to great in the critical sense, but they all share one common factor (in my eyes): AWESOMENESS.

What makes a movie awesome? For me, it’s pretty simple - a movie where you are inspired to cheer at something gruesome or violent at least once per reel. If a child or elder person is killed for laughs, it’s awesome. If the plot is intentionally ridiculous - it’s awesome. If it stars Nicolas Cage - it’s FUCKING awesome. In short, if I was to sit down with a movie and start drinking, these movies would entertain me just as much at the beginning (when I was sober) as they would at the end (when I had passed out). The following movies entertained the shit out of me start to finish, whether as intended or not, and therefore I aim to give them their due recognition.

NOTE - the list is presented alphabetically. Again, I find ranking to be largely pointless, especially when you are considering TEN FUCKING YEARS’ worth of movies. They made the list when others didn’t, and how the hell can one compare awesomeness? In a nutshell, this is why I don’t grade movies in the first place - some of these movies could just as easily get an F as an A. To further this point, I didn’t try to fit a traditional number (i.e. 10, 25) and the list consists solely of the ones I thought off the top of my head without doing any further investigation or brain-searching. Thus, there are only 18 films (and one whole series) and probably some missing movies of equal awesomeness. Any omissions should be treated not as a mark of insufficient awesomeness, but the fact that I'm lazy.

And without any further adieu...

HORROR MOVIE A DAY PRESENTS: THE MOST A BUNCH OF AWESOME HORROR MOVIES OF FROM THE DECADE

Black Xmas (2006). Going to the movies on Christmas night is a tradition for me dating back to 1994 (Street Fighter!), but Black Xmas is the first film that actually had a holiday theme (though 2000’s Cast Away began on Christmas day). There’s something pretty ballsy of Dimension to release such a viciously mean-spirited Christmas movie ON Christmas Day (even Bad Santa came out in November). On the day we are technically supposed to be celebrating the birth of Christ and enjoying the company of our loved ones, they were asking folks to sit down and watch their film that included death by candy cane, mothers forcing themselves on their sons, Christmas cookies made out of human flesh, and a group of wretched sorority girls who fuck one another’s boyfriends (and put it on the internet no less) and puke on each other. Oh, and it was a remake of a revered classic, something that never goes over well with anyone. Well played, Dimension.

Born (2008). If there was a female equivalent to Nic Cage in Wicker Man, it would be Alison Brie’s delightfully gonzo turn in this odd little DTV flick. Those of you who only know her from her reserved character on Community (where she can’t even say the word “penis”) would probably have their mind blown at the scene where the monster in her belly suddenly bites off a man’s penis and tosses the part it doesn’t eat on the floor. That or the one where it eats the head off a woman Brie was just making out with in an alley. The movie also has the balls to cast Kane Hodder as a goddamn priest! He’s also a demon who fucks his sister and threatens his shrink, who turns out to be Satan. Or something. Look, no matter - it’s a fucking batshit movie from start to finish, and a delightful one at that.

Cabin Fever (2003). PANCAKES! alone would put this on the awesome list (seriously, was there any moment more hilariously “what the fuck?”ish in the entire decade?), but Eli Roth’s splatter masterpiece had plenty of other highlights, not the least of which was James DeBello’s clueless burnout, who steals Snickers “for the nougat” and shoots at squirrels for their blatantly homosexual demeanor. Plus, a guy fingers a girl and comes away with a handful of blood, and it wasn’t from her period. Then she practically shaves her legs off. Holy awesome. Come on Roth, find your sense of humor again and make another horror comedy. Quentin will still be there to hang out with when you’re done.

Dawn of the Dead (2004). A commercial director and the writer of Scooby-Doo remaking one of the greatest horror films of all time for a big studio? Good lord! But this Dawn was a great fucking ride, with a frenetic, body count heavy opening set in the suburbs (I still laugh like a nut when the guy chasing Sarah Polley’s car suddenly gives up and eats a nearby pedestrian instead) leading to an equally fast paced romp in the mall. A great cast (Jake Weber needs more everyman action roles), some truly inspired setpieces (“Celebrity” Zombie Shooting!), and a downer ending all combine to make the rare remake that is too damn fun to get mad at for “copying” a classic.

The Devil’s Rejects (2005). Rob Zombie’s followup to the entertaining but flawed House Of 1000 Corpses improves on it in every way. More Spaulding, more killing, more filthy rednecks! Add in William Forsythe as a guy who doesn’t know shit about the Marx Brothers and the all-time best use of “Freebird”, and you have a Grindhouse homage that came along prior to when it was in vogue (ironic that Zombie’s trailer in Grindhouse was the worst).

Drag Me To Hell (2009). Sam Raimi returns! And just to prove that working on the mega-budget Spider-Man films hasn’t softened his twisted sense of humor, he kills a little kitten for laughs. And then cuts to an inspirational poster of a kitten saying “Hang in there!”, which even a PETA member would have to giggle at. One of the rare films in 2009 that I went back to see a 2nd time, and more than made up for his last Universal movie (For Love Of The Game). Only sore spot - Bruce Campbell was MIA (he should have played David Paymer’s role).

Dreamcatcher (2003). Two words - POOP MONSTERS. Sure, Dogma had one too (what the hell is up with Jason Lee?), but the one in Kevin Smith’s film didn’t eat anyone. Nor did it have Morgan Freeman seemingly dressed as Professor Coldheart, Tom Jane talking to a gun, or Tim Olyphant getting his goddamn head punched off by a possessed (and inexplicably British) Damian Lewis. Stephen King wrote the novel while high on painkillers after he was hit by a car, and it shows throughout the narrative. And God bless him, Lawrence Kasdan opted not to drop the wackiness despite spending 60 million of Warner Bros’ money adapting it. Also, I should note that this is the only film on the list that I can be certain has nothing to do with my attraction to one of the female stars, because there aren’t any. Case in point:

The Hitcher (2007). Fuck you, it’s a fucking insane movie and I don’t care that you hate it. Go watch the moody and atmospheric (and far more of an actual horror movie) original. I’ll be over here, watching Sophia Bush jump out of a truck that just exploded and shotgunning Sean Bean in the face. Christ, the heroes in the movie are almost killed by a goddamn TRUCK that falls out of the sky from somewhere! Of all the Platinum Dunes movies, it feels the most like a Michael Bay movie (car chases, helicopters, guns, hot women, lot of orange filters), and as we all know, nothing personifies awesome like Bay.

My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009). 3D BOOBS. Also 3D male ass, but since that ass is none other than the film’s writer, it qualifies as awesome. Tarantino always writes roles for himself too, but he doesn’t have the cojones to write himself a sex scene. Plus it has Tom Atkins in his first genre role in 20 years, which kicks off when he looks through a heart drawn with blood on a pane of glass and says “Happy fuckin’ Valentine’s Day!”. Oh Atkins, how we’ve missed you. Oh and a midget gets impaled. Bonus awesome points - in the time honored tradition of re-releasing the original film to tie into the remake, we finally got (most of) the gore that was cut from the 1981 film as a result of this film’s existence.

Mother of Tears (2007). A crazy woman throws her baby into the river. A bunch of goth witches cackle and shriek their way around a train station. A woman’s head is squished in a door. A final scene revolving around our heroes laughing as the city crumbles around them. Udo Kier. This movie has no shortage of wonderfully nutty moments, and that it’s Argento’s return to batshit crazy horror (after the dull “thriller” years of stuff like Card Player and Do You Like Hitchcock?) makes it all the more worthwhile. And as a fan of horror theme songs, Cradle of Filth’s end credits title song warmed my heart, and to this day whenever someone mentions the title I instantly begin singing the song.

Planet Terror (2007). Robert Rodriguez’ half of Grindhouse wasn’t really a “grindhouse” movie, what with all of the digital effects, big name stars, and fast pace. BUT, it was still a kickass zombie movie, with GOOD digital effects, AWESOME big name stars (Bruce Willis shows up as a guy who killed Osama Bin Laden!), and, well, a fast pace! Death Proof may have its merits, but it’s painfully slow at times (hello there, 20 minute diner scene). Planet Terror eschews slow pace and focuses on things that matter, like a guy who literally cuts off the balls of those who piss him off. And while I usually can’t stand her, even I can’t deny the awesomeness of Rose McGowan’s machine gun leg.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004). What makes this movie awesome? A BIG FUCKING MUTANT YELLING “STARS!” EVERY TIME HE APPEARS ON SCREEN, THAT’S WHAT! And the action is pretty close to nonstop, which means that you’re never too far from Milla Jovavich diving through the air and shooting stuff (or being shot at, or both) or running down the side of an entire goddamn skyscraper. Plus it’s the only one of the three films in the series that actually uses the source material properly (i.e. Jill Valentine, who even grabs her side and limps when injured). Of all the movies on this list, this is the one that I would least likely defend as a good movie, but goddamn if it isn’t the first one I would want to watch the next time I was drunk out of my mind.

Satan’s Little Helper (2004). Few films on this list have a scene as gleefully violent as the one where Satan wheels the possibly brain-damaged Dougie around a parking lot, running people over at random for “points” as Dougie laughs and cheers. And I love that the film delivers exactly what it says it’s going to - the little moron really does help Satan kill people. And he harbors an unhealthy crush on his sister, something their mom doesn’t really seem to mind. Weird AND awesome? Sign me up.

See No Evil (2006). A vegetarian character is eaten by a pack of dogs and our killer has flies in his head. Nuff said.

Valentine (2001). You must be sick of Katherine Heigl, right? What if I were to tell you that there is a movie where her character is stabbed to death in the first ten minutes? Wouldn’t you want to see that movie? I give you Valentine. Bonus points - Denise Richards is also killed. Back in 2001 this wasn’t as laudable, but nowadays... well, this movie is the very definition of “ahead of its time”.

Wicker Man (2006). You’ve all seen those clips out of context on Youtube, and that is fine, but let me tell you - IN context they are even funnier. The whole fucking MOVIE is like that. Christ, this one’s off-the-charts gonzo even BEFORE the bear suit comes into play. And you gotta love that they got the classy Ellen Burstyn to don Braveheart makeup for no discernible reason.

Wrong Turn 2 (2007). Wisely eschewing the gritty 70s tone of the original, Joe Lynch’s superior followup serves up lots of splatter, inspired kills, and Henry Rollins doing his Henry Rollins thing (at one point he sports a visible hardon as he grabs a knife prior to battle). Also, one of the mutants rips off the face of a girl and puts it on for the sexual enjoyment of her mutant brother (it’s the mutant version of “hey honey can you put on this wig?”). I also love that the film’s would-be heroine gets a goddamn axe to her head halfway through the film (and the black guy lives!).

Zombieland (2009). Woody Harrelson got so into this movie that he attacked a paparazzo because he thought the guy was a zombie. So not only is the movie itself awesome, but it has the finest anecdote of all time attached to it. I hate generic phrases like “Fun from start to finish”, but that’s exactly what Zombieland is. Christ, I applauded the movie’s opening credit sequence!

AWESOME LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD:
The Final Destination series (2000-2009 (and beyond?)). Over the course of these four films, we have seen some of the most ridiculous and splatter-y death scenes committed to celluloid (the fourth of which in 3D to boot!), and each film makes more money than the one before it, which means we are likely to enjoy more in our lifetime. And each subsequent film has more and more deaths (with less and less troublesome “plot”), which means it’s possible that one of the next sequels might literally be a series of unconnected death scenes. And to bring this article full circle, a particularly dim Bloody Disgusting reader chastised me for “spoiling” that someone died in the film, which I consider to be the all time dumbest (and thus hilarious) reaction anyone has ever had about anything, ever.

INADVERTENT AWESOME ACTRESS AWARD:
As I began double checking the IMDb for dates and such, I realized that actress Crystal Lowe appears in THREE of the films on this list (Wrong Turn 2, Black Xmas, and the 3rd Final Destination film). Grats to the lass! As for actors, I can't think of any who appear in even two.

MOST UN-AWESOME MOVIE OF THE DECADE:
The Ring Two (2005). Following up one of the decade’s best horror films couldn’t have been an easy task, but this movie is so goddamn dull and terrible, that even what would otherwise qualify as the most awesome moment in horror history (a herd of CGI elk rushing and destroying a moving car) couldn’t save it. Fuck you, Ring Two, for sucking AND for wasting the idea of CGI elk destroying a car on your shitty movie.

PLEASE, GO ON...

October!

If you haven't read the poll to the right (for shame!), then I should inform you that during October, I planned to do something different, since lots of folks watch a horror movie a day during October in order to celebrate Columbus Day. Or Halloween. Maybe both.

With "Watch two movies" being a clear favored choice, I have decided to watch my usual "new" movie a day, as well as an "old" one. This could be anything, but for the most part I will stick to a. movies that people have recommended that I have already seen, and b. movies I mention a lot but haven't actually reviewed.

And I know what you're thinking... yes. This means, just for you, I will submit myself to another viewing of that pinnacle of bullshit, DARK RIDE. Lord help us all.

I assume I can amass 31 movies based on those two factors, but just in case, if there's anything you think is truly deserving of the HMAD 'treatment' that you know (or assume) I have already seen, leave the titles in the comments here.

31 Days Til Halloween, Halloween, Halloween! 31 Days Til Halloween, Silver Shamrock!

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HMAD Screening: In The Mouth Of Madness

Oh HELL YES. I haven't been this excited about a HMAD screening since Shocker! In The Mouth Of Madness is the last John Carpenter film I needed to see projected in 35mm, having missed it during its theatrical run (I didn't have a license then - I was at my mother's mercy!). All of the others I've been able to catch thanks to revival screenings, but Madness has eluded me... until now! I would have been first in line even if I wasn't hosting!

And as a special bonus, I'll be having a Q&A with producer Sandy King before the show! If you came to the Bev for Prince of Darkness a while back, you know she is a total delight, so it should be a fun chat. Plus I'll have some DVDs to give away for insanely easy trivia questions.

It all goes down on Saturday, April 16th, at 11:59 PM. As always, the show will be at the New Beverly Cinema on 7165 Beverly Blvd in Los Angeles, 1.5 blocks west of La Brea. Tickets are 7 bucks at the door (cash only!) or you can buy in advance at Brown Paper Tickets. Parking is available on Beverly or the side streets (Formosa tends to be the best bet). See you there!

Note - due to a printing issue, the screening is not listed on the printed New Beverly calendar, so please try to help spread the word via Twitter and Facebook and such. Much appreciated!

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Hatchet II Contest!

I haven't done a contest for a while, but when it's for a good cause, I'll get off my butt and put something together. As you should all know by now, Adam Green's Hatchet II will be in theaters this weekend, UNRATED AND UNCUT (!!!), and I want each and every one of you (in North America anyway) to go see it. Why? Well, many reasons: 1. You're supporting indie horror, which should always be a priority. 2. You're getting the first major chain release of an unrated horror film in over 25 years, so that's something right there. A strong showing for Hatchet II this weekend will help future films (perhaps even YOURS) get its own unrated release, preventing you from having to deal with the hateful censors at the MPAA. And 3. You can WIN STUFF!!! Keep reading to find out how!

As I've mentioned on Twitter and the like, I actually had a small (microscopic, really) hand in the film's final form - I did the end credits that scroll up and away as you check your cell phone and exit the theater. It's next to nothing, yes, but I'm proud of it all the same....

...even though I goofed and made a typo, one that was caught too late to fix. And that's where you come in!

All you have to do is buy a ticket to Hatchet II this weekend (HAS TO BE THIS WEEKEND! That's October 1st-3rd), and find my typo in the end credits. To make it easier, I will let you know that it's thankfully NOT someone's name, it's actually a very common word that's missing a key vowel. I will draw a name at random of all the correct answers (shit, I hope there's only one answer! LOL), and that person will win a little prize package I am putting together (DVDs and posters).

To enter, just send an email to HMADContests (at gmail) with your name, the theater you saw the film at, and the misspelled word. I will pick a winner on Monday, October 4th.

Once again, this contest is only eligible THIS WEEKEND (October 1st-3rd). Due to the low number of screens the film is playing on, it's SO IMPORTANT to have a big "per screen average" for the opening weekend. The film can never crack the top 10 even if it sold out every show, but the decision makers look at the averages to gauge demand and decide to open it wider and also allow the next horror film to have an unrated release.

You guys claim you're sick of PG-13 or watered down R rated films; you guys claim you're sick of remakes - let your voice be heard! Go see Hatchet II this weekend and prove that this is the type of stuff you want to see! AND make fun of my sloppiness in the process! You will also make the hundreds of people who worked on the film happy - it was a labor of love from Adam and the producers all the way down to the least important guy on the crew (me), and they'll be happy to know some folks were reading their names and knowing what they did to pull off this crazy, fun, and VERY gory film.

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Fango Con - Day #3!

Today's big event was the NOTLD 40th Anniversary panel, which didn't have much news to report for obvious reasons. Still, it was a nice day, and not without highlights:

- Brett Leonard missed his own panel because he was upstairs with me (well, not WITH me, the man has no idea who I am) watching The Dead Pit. I kind of admired this - if a director walks out of his own movie, what sort of example does that set? Kudos, sir.
- The writers of Toolbox Murders and the upcoming Mother of Tears previewed their film (co-writer Adam Geirasch is making his directorial debut) Autopsy. It looks like a sick and bloody good time, and thus I look forward to it. Having folks like Michael Bowen and Robert Patrick in the cast doesn't hurt. Gierasch also said he would be doing a remake of Night of the Demons (make it, you know, good) and working on the Saw video game, which better be a hell of a lot better than any other horror movie based video game ever made (OK, Nightmare on Elm St for the NES was kind of fun).
- Ray Wise gave a fan his water. What a nice guy. I understand he always puts his fans first.
- Feast 2! Oh man I can't wait for this. I assume they have let Gulagar and co. make the film his way without any interference (his brother is in the cast, so he's already gotten his way there; the producers refused to let him be in the first film). They showed a perfectly graphic scene, and also showed "just the beginning" of what is in store for Honey Pie, who left the other survivors for dead at the end of the first film. How Clu Gulager's character managed to survive was not made clear, but who cares? I can't wait for this (and part 3 is already shot!).
- The NOTLD 40th anniversary panel was nice, if a bit underwhelming. Nothing against the cast members, but they really don't have much to say, and it was kind of a bummer to see Romero up there, patiently waiting to talk while John Russo and Bill Hinzman told the same old stories we have heard from them at every single Fangoria convention for the past decade or so. No actual news was revealed here, other than a bit of the extra feature on the upcoming 30,556th release of the film on DVD (to be fair, it looks worth the price of the disc - a recollection of the film by modern horror icons like Greg Nicotero).

All in all, a good con. I'm kind of jaded on certain things nowadays (like getting autographs, other than my Fangoria "Directors" series I have no desire to wait in line to have someone sign something, usually at a cost), but it's still just a blast to have so many fans and filmmakers hanging out together for 3 straight days. I really dislike the fact that the move to the LA Convention Center put a serious wedge in after-convention plans (tonight I just went home after the NOTLD panel instead of partying, like usual). There is simply nothing to do down there; no restaurants, no bars, nothing! It's all (closed) office buildings and apartment high-rises without reasonable parking. In Burbank, there was always stuff going on, but it was not the case here. Hopefully next year the con will just go to Pasadena, which is plenty big enough and in a good location to boot. Cross your fingers!

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Best/Worst list

While I compile my Horror Movie A Day-centric list (which isn't limited to films from this year, or even standard categories), feel free to surf on over to Bloody-Disgusting for my "official" list of the best and worst horror had to offer in 2007. My number 1 picks should be no surprise to anyone who reads HMAD regularly, but some other choices may surprise. Or not, I dunno.

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Horror Movie A Day's Halloween List!

Rather than do a typical "Best movies for Halloween!" or whatever list, I thought I'd cobble together a list of some of the more obscure movies I've watched for HMAD and highlight a few I think you should check out. So head on over to Bloody Disgusting for the list, and have a happy happy Halloween! Sil-ver Sham-rock!

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Note on Recommendations

So I guess only 200 comments will show up on a post. As the recommendation thread is hovering at that mark, I have begun deleting recommendations for films that I have seen/reviewed. But I have also re-edited the review to include your (linked) name, i.e. "This was recommended by HMAD reader so-and-so" (I wish I had a reader named so-and-so, by the way), so it evens out. So keep the recommendations coming, just don't fret if they don't show up for a few days if the 200 mark has been passed.

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BC's Best/Worst of 2008!

If you head on over to Bloody-Disgusting you can check out my picks for the BEST and WORST movies from 2008. As with last year, this is separate from my Horror Movie A Day list (which will be up next week, hopefully), in which I choose from all 365+ movies I watched this year. The Bloody list only reflects new movies that were released in the US this calender year. So head on over and enjoy! Don't forget to leave comments about what an idiot I am for liking movies you didn't like and disliking movies you loved. Also, it hasn't happened yet, but don't forget to down a shot for every person who accuses me of "not seeing enough movies".

PLEASE, GO ON...

HMAD Screening: PSYCHO III

We're back! Due to the fact that the Christmas/New Year's holidays fell on the weekend, there was no HMAD screening in December, saving folks from having to hear me pimp Black Xmas (which is what I would show - and yes I mean the remake). But I'm making up for it - February's screening is already booked as well, and I'll announce the title at THIS month's screening, which is Psycho III!

Some of you were probably at last year's Psycho II screening, which, while not typical midnight movie material, was a damn great time and won over a lot of fans. Psycho III, on the other hand, is PERFECT for midnight, as it adds a layer of sleaziness, has a higher body count, and... well, it's 20 minutes shorter. Always a plus, especially for serial dozers like me.

We're still working on guests, but I'll have a TON of DVDs to give away, plus my usual rambling intro and the announcement of next month's screening, which I'm very excited about for reasons I'll explain when I'm up on stage. The screening takes place Saturday, January 28th at 11:59pm, and as always, you can buy your tickets at the door for 8 bucks (cash only!) or online at BrownPaperTickets. The New Beverly is located at 7165 Beverly Blvd in Los Angeles, 2 blocks west of La Brea. All the info is also on the awesome poster below, which I encourage you to steal and post about on your own sites/blogs/twitters/what have you. Let's pack this joint!

PLEASE, GO ON...

Read a book!

Hey folks, while I try to get all caught up on my review backlog (two to go for HMAD, three for Badass), why not read something a little more meaty (and professional)? My good friend Matt Serafini, who writes for Dread Central under Masked Slasher, has just published his first novel, and it's available for your Kindle as well as in good old-fashioned paperback (yay!). The book is called "Feral" - here's the plot synopsis:

It was supposed to be an idyllic summer vacation for college friends Jack Markle and Allen Taylor. But they didn’t know about the evil lurking in the resort town of Greifsfield. When Allen falls under the influence of insidious beauty Elisabeth Luna, Jack begins to realize that sinister forces are at work all around him. And now he’s fighting to save his friends from an age-old evil he never believed could exist.

Even if it kills him.

The synopsis doesn't say, but I don't think it's spoiling anything to say that the "age-old evil" is in fact a werewolf.  And I know Matt is an expert on the genre (he's seen ALL of the Howling movies and read the books, just for starters - and you guys say *I* have too high a tolerance?), I can guarantee he's delivered something worth your while if you're a fan of lycanthropes or of horror literature in general. Not sure if it's in stores yet, but you can definitely get it via Amazon which is how everyone shops now anyway. 

Enjoy!

Tweet

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The West Memphis 3

If I may stop swearing and ranting about LionsGate scarecrows for a few seconds, I urge you to head over to WM3.org (there's also a handy link to the right, above the poll) and learn about one of the most frustratingly sad stories of the past few decades, that of three innocent kids (now men) who were sent to life in jail (one sentenced to death) for a crime they didn't commit.

If you ARE familiar with the case, you probably know that new evidence has come along that may finally free them, but they need some coin to help pay their legal fees for such matters. If you AREN'T, Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky have made two documentaries about the case (two films far more haunting than anything you'll see me reviewing here), and there have been a few books about them as well (including a memoir written by Damien Echols, the one who has been sentenced to death for being the alleged ringleader) that can bring you up to speed. The WM3.org site has plenty of info as well, obviously (I think the transcript of the entire trial is up there somewhere!), not to mention a helpful list of things you can do to help besides donate (including handy HTML codes for banners).

It should be noted that the primary evidence against them was their fondness for black clothing, heavy metal, Stephen King, and horror movies. So I'm guessing some of you will sympathize. Anyway, check the site out, and if you can, please donate a few bucks for their legal fees.

Thanks guys.

BC

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HMAD Screening: PSYCHO II

*Robert Stack voice* UPDATE! Actress Lee Garlington, who played Myrna in Psycho II (and III) will be on hand for a Q&A before the movie!

YES! The New Bev is where I finally got to see the REAL Psycho on the big screen for the first time (I somehow managed to see the fucking remake TWICE, making this hole in my theatrical life even more troublesome), so I am proud to take part in bringing the regulars and some of you fine folks a rare big screening of its shockingly good followup, Psycho II.

Same drill as always; the New Beverly is located at 7165 Beverly Blvd in Los Angeles, two blocks west of La Brea. Street parking is available on Beverly and side streets (Formosa is best bet). Tickets are 7 bucks CASH at the door or online at BrownPaperTickets. And it all goes down Saturday, July 30th at 11:59 PM! See you there!

P.S. Feel free to tweet, blog, facebook, etc. Include the awesome Photoshop poster! Thanks!!

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Listen to me! Literally!!!

Hey guys, I have contributed another "Video Vault" segment to the Graveyard Show, which you can listen to right HERE. I compare the awesome Nightmare on Elm St doc to the terrible remake! I also plug Sauna! Enjoy!

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My Name Is Jonah: New Trailer!

Hey folks, just giving a heads up for you to check the new trailer (and website!) for My Name Is Jonah, an "action adventure documentary" put together by some of my good friends. The movie is coming next year, in the meantime you can be their pal on Facebook and all that good stuff. Enjoy!

My Name Is Jonah: Trailer 1 from Jonah Washnis on Vimeo.

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Chillerama (2011)

NOVEMBER 27, 2011

GENRE: ANTHOLOGY
SOURCE: BLU-RAY (OWN COLLECTION)

At long last, Chillerama has hit Blu-ray and DVD (plus VOD), well over a year after the first segment premiered at Frightfest. The anthology film features segments by Adam Green (Hatchet), Joe Lynch (Wrong Turn 2), Adam Rifkin (Look), and Tim Sullivan (2001 Maniacs), bookended by what people are most interested in seeing: the newest credit sequences by Brian W. Collins (Hatchet II, A Horrible Way To Die).

As always, his end titles do not disappoint. As there are four separate films plus generalized “all movie” credits, the end title sequence employs no less than five unique fonts, each carefully chosen to reflect the style of its respective film. So for Lynch’s “Zombies meets Amblin” style segment Zom-B-Movie, the credits are actually in the same font as Gremlins, and for Green’s Universal Monster inspired The Diary Of Anne Frankenstein, the font has a 40s poster feel to it. It is, undoubtedly, the greatest multi-font credits sequence of all time, even with a few typos (“A” camera operator is missing a space, and there’s a weird graphic issue around the Lit Post logo near the end of the 7-8 minute sequence).

Now, your eyes might be drawn to the clips that accompany each short’s credits sequence, which play on the opposite side of the frame as the credits scroll by (at varying speeds, depending on the length of the video I guess), but I urge you to keep a close eye on the several hundred names that race or crawl by. Lots of folks put a lot of hard work into the film, and they deserve recognition – particularly those who worked on multiple segments, such as Josh Ethier, who is credited for nearly every segment in a variety of crew roles. Ditto Robert Pendergraft/Aunt Dolly’s Garage, who contributed FX for all but one segment (Wadzilla, which has Chiodo Bros FX). It will be a real treat for fans to see their names on-screen over and over, but in different fonts every single time!

Collins fans will also be delighted to see the film’s opening animated segment, which he also did himself. While it’s too short, and the stars don’t always match up with the movement of the trees and tombstones, it really sets the tone for the movie that follows (aided considerably by Bear McCreary’s theme music). I also dig how it transitions from the Ariescope logo to the animation – very Spielbergian! Wish he had a few more tombstones in there though – you can see that they’re all recycled as the “camera” makes its way through the rows and up the hill to the final grave site, which transitions to the live-action portion of the film.

Obviously these elements look much better on Blu-ray, where you can also enjoy a full commentary by the four filmmakers, deleted scenes, some making of material, and other goodies, but the DVD looks great as well. I definitely would NOT recommend downloading the movie on the internet, however – the end credits are often clipped or missing entirely! Who the hell wants to watch something like that? Both are available tomorrow (11/29), and I highly recommend you buy one for yourself, as well as for all of the font enthusiasts in your life – don’t forget Christmas is coming!

Also, the movie itself is quite fun. I like that one zombie with the tan coat especially.

What say you?

NOTE – obviously this is a joke review. Image sent it to me to review even though I told them that I worked on it and thus would most certainly NOT be writing up a review. So I figured I’d goof off and present my standard “Hey this movie my friends made is now on DVD” post in a more fun way. Also - my contest is still running! First one to find me OUT OF MAKEUP in the film should send along a screenshot (along with proof that you're watching on a legal format)and you will win a prize! Someone has found me! Grats to Michael Gomez (and Brian Matherly) for having a damn good eye!

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