AUGUST 30, 2008
Ironically, someone asked me today if I plan my movies ahead, and I told him that I didn’t. Then I watched The Seventh Sign, the first of the three HD cable movies I recorded and planned ahead to watch over the long weekend to make sure my DVR had a lot of free space for the upcoming fall season (which kicks off on Monday with the return of the increasingly bad but still awesome Prison Break, wooo!). Sorry I sort of lied, guy who asked me. Otherwise though, no, I never plan ahead. Takes a lot of the fun out of it, if you ask me (no one has).
Anyway, Sign was OK. It’s very light on the horror elements, even compared to something like Rosemary’s Baby (which has a similar plot) which is known for the quality rather than the quantity of its scare scenes. It’s sort of like a biblical Terminator 2 (first 45 minutes), you get two guys who are obviously after Demi Moore’s baby, but you’re not sure at first which one means to save it and which one wants to go all wire hanger on its unborn ass. And some good casting here – Jurgen Prochnow is actually the GOOD guy (if I am understanding the ending correctly, he’s actually a reborn version of THE Good guy).
Also I really wish I watched this movie when I was like 11 and thought Demi Moore was the most beautiful woman in the whole wide world. Because she bares her breasts, something I wouldn’t see until I was 14 when Striptease came along. And this movie is nowhere near as awful. Nude scenes are always a bit more exciting when they are contained in a movie that’s watchable even when everyone is clothed.
The movie also has a completely unintentional (I think) laugh when Moore is channel surfing. All she is coming across is news about people dying, war, etc, and nestled in the middle of all this is a quick clip of a Wheel of Fortune style game show. To me, that suggests that brain-dead entertainment is just as horrible as genocide or whatever. Had she STOPPED on the show it would be different, but no, it gets lumped in with everything else. Awesome.
It’s also got a scene I don’t think I’ve ever seen before in any of these religious prophecy horror thrillers. A priest goes to investigate something, and when he is reporting his findings to the Jedi council of high priests, they’re like “are you SURE it’s not a miracle?” and he’s like “yep, it’s all B.S.” (not actual quotes, sadly). Usually, unless the movie is about a skeptical priest who regains his faith, this scene is ALWAYS played out the opposite way; the priest is all “Miracle!” and the elders will shoot him down. Way to play with uninteresting convention, Schultz.
Oh the director’s name is Carl Schultz.
The only thing about the movie that really annoyed me is when Moore asks Prochnow if that was him that she saw “the other day”, when it was like 2 months later. Where I live, “the other day” is a period of time stretching back no further than a week. Plus, the fucking guy lives with you, you never got around to asking him about it sooner?
Also the movie contains what I believe is the first movie murderer with downs syndrome. Certainly the first one in which said murderer is shot in the neck.
What say you?