SEPTEMBER 4, 2007
Ah, The Skeleton Key. The latest (well, when it came out it was the latest) in a (too) long line of alleged horror movies starring respectable actresses. It seems they all have one, and they are all uniformly bad. And since this one is written by Ehren Kruger, one of the worst prolific screenwriters in recent memory (he also bestowed upon us Scream 3, Reindeer Games, and The Ring Two), I figured I would be in for one god awful ride.
So I was surprised to find the movie was merely dull. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone except Peter Sarsgaard completists, but I never once wanted to kick my TV and defecate on the disc, so there's something. And it's got sort of a downer ending, which is odd when you consider it's a big budget, big studio PG-13 horror movie.
Kate Hudson is damned hot when you can't see her ridiculous ears, and we even get some side boob, so the movie at least manages to occasionally hold your attention. But, and it seems like I've said this a million times, the film's story isn't complex or deep enough to warrant a full length film. This could have certainly been done in a Twilight Zone or Masters of Horror episode. By stretching it out to 1:40, we get lots of padding and extraneous shoe leather, not to mention a healthy dose of repetition.
As you may have noticed, I watched this on HD DVD. Which means I won't be watching the commentary or most of the extras, since I can't bring myself to listen to commentaries at home anymore. That's a "work watch". I did check out the deleteds, but they were mostly useless.
According to the Wikipedia page for this movie, "the house resembles the one used in the 2003 remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre". No it fucking does not. And even if it did, how the hell is that trivia? Christ.
What say you?