Body Parts

MARCH 12, 2007

GENRE: MAD SCIENTIST, SLASHER
SOURCE: CABLE (HDMOVIES)

Another one I hadn’t seen since I was like 11. And I remembered it totally wrong. I thought the dude reclaiming the Body Parts was a bigger part of the story. But no, it’s actually incredibly brief and entirely out of nowhere. For a good hour or so, the movie is about how Fahey’s arm is doing things on its own, culminating in a bar fight where he beats the piss out of everyone until the cops come. Then, out of nowhere, we cut to one of the other guys (the one who got the legs), who’s being stalked by the body parts’ owner. Back to Fahey, who is just hanging out in his hotel room instead of being in jail for beating the piss out of an entire bar. Its like the entire third act of the film was grafted on from another film, much like Fahey’s arm…. OHHHHHHHHHHH. I get it! I think.

My favorite part of the movie is when Fahey comes home and his son, who looks like he's about that age where he starts to hate his dad (13 or so), goes “Yay! Dad!” or something to that effect and basically tackles him like a little kid would. I’m quite certain if I was like 13 and tried to tackle my dad when he came home from work, I would a. fail and b. be punished. Instead Fahey laughs and they wrestle for awhile. Awww. Then the kid accidentally hurts the arm so Fahey clocks him on the jaw. Awwww.

What the hell ever happened to Fahey anyway? He’s got crazy Cillian Murphy eyes, so he should be in more stuff, so that Cillian Murphy will be in less. Christ, he even turned down Lawnmower Man 2. I remember he had this action drama show for a while about a bounty hunter or something. One episode was basically Die Hard in a supermarket, and the title of the episode was “Buy Hard”. I remember that, but I can’t remember the name of the show. Oh well. It didn’t last long.

What say you?