I Saw The Devil (2010)

MARCH 4, 2011

GENRE: REVENGE, SERIAL KILLER
SOURCE: THEATRICAL (REGULAR SCREENING)

If not for a slightly misguided and pace-killing sequence during the film’s 2nd act, I Saw The Devil would be a nearly perfect film. It's remarkably accessible (despite the fact that it's from the director of the nearly impenetrable Tale Of Two Sisters), the bloody revenge tale is quite compelling, and the two leads (including Oldboy’s Min-sik Choi) are fantastic. And even though the typical serial killer stuff is confined to the first act, it’s actually got a few scares. In short, it’s got a little bit of everything – though that was a bit too much for me.

Spoilers ahead!

Roughly 85 minutes into the 140 minute film, our serial killer antagonist seeks refuge at the home of a friend of his – another serial killer (who is also a cannibal). The concept itself is fine, but again – this is a 140 minute film, and this 20 minute sequence doesn’t really serve much purpose in the long run. It also provides the film with yet another big climactic fight between the two leads, something we had seen twice already and obviously have another one to go. Personally, I don’t like it when the enemies face off too many times in a movie. Once near the beginning is fine, but then their next showdown should be saved for the ending. It’s the same problem I had with Demolition Man (on the brain because I just watched it at the New Bev a week ago) – Stallone and Snipes fight like four times before we get to the climax, and by then I was just sort of numb to the sight of these guys whaling on each other. It would make a great deleted scene - there’s a gag with a knife (or screwdriver?) handle that was pure brilliance – but within the film it just slowed the pace down considerably and didn’t really advance the plot. It was also a bit repetitious – Choi’s character was there to seek medical attention, same as he was the last time they met up and fought, and they had already introduced the idea that Korea is apparently loaded with serial killers (from an earlier cab scene where the other passenger is also a killer).

Otherwise – terrific stuff. It’s sort of like a grim version of the movie Changing Lanes, with the line between hero and villain becoming rather blurry as the two men constantly go out of their way to make life hell for the other. It starts when Kyung-Chul (Choi) murders the pregnant girlfriend of our hero, Soo-hyeon (Byung-hun Lee, best known for G.I. Joe I guess). It doesn’t take too long for Lee to track Choi down, but he doesn’t want to bring him to justice quite yet. Instead he beats the piss out of him, and then puts a tracer in him that allows him to track him wherever he goes. And whenever Choi tries to kill someone, Lee shows up and beats the shit out of him again. The idea is that he wants Choi to feel like he is the victim being stalked, so he can feel what Lee’s girlfriend and the others felt. So there’s a bit of repetition in the design, but apart from that “other killer” sequence it totally worked for me.

Whether it worked for the audience is another matter. I saw a couple walkouts, which is to be expected given the very gruesome violence and even a rape scene where the girl appears to be in her teens. But there was also a lot of laughter during some of the violent scenes, most of which I didn’t find very amusing (and I have a rather sick sense of humor). I don’t know if it was nervous laughter or what, but it was very distracting. I was also sort of puzzled by their reactions to certain things – at one point Lee slices into Choi’s Achilles tendon, and everyone winced and groaned and what not, and there were some angry “No!” cries during a scene where Choi beat Lee’s father-in-law over the head repeatedly, yet they were silent during the rape? No protests for that? Weird.

It’s almost a shame that the Seven/Zodiac type serial killer stuff is so brief, because it’s scary as hell. There’s a terrific jump scare early on that even I jolted hard from, and the snowy and dark locales made for some wonderfully creepy and suspenseful build-up scenes, particularly when he picks up a girl waiting for her bus and drives along the deserted road. And the scene where Lee’s girlfriend’s body is found is just incredible, both from the chaotic Korean press swarming the area trying to get a photo, and the disturbing discovery of her head floating in the water (excellent makeup work here too), not to mention the subsequent accident that results in it falling out of the box it has been placed in and rolling around in front of her father. It’s horrible and fascinating at the same time.

I also liked that Choi wasn’t the usual movie serial killer who either speaks in pretentious babble (or Bible verses), or acted all suave and coldly calculating like Hollywood thrillers. Instead, he’s just kind of an irritated asshole. Think Nicholson’s character from As Good As It Gets when he’s at his worst, and then just replace “OCD” with “tendency to bash people’s heads in”, and you will have a good idea of his demeanor. It’s somewhat amusing at times (I love the bit with the doctor who thinks he got the injuries from playing soccer), and definitely different than most movie killers.

I did occasionally wonder about the subtitles though. I love Magnolia and Magnet for bringing foreign horror over to our neck of the woods, but by now we’ve all heard about what they did on Let The Right One In’s original DVD release (putting dumbed down subtitles in place of the more correct translation), and at times I suspected the same thing here. You know in Lost In Translation when the Japanese guy talks for like 30 seconds and it “translates” to a 3-4 word phrase (I forget what it was)? Not to that extreme, obviously, but there are instances in the movie that reminded me of it, where a girl would talk and clearly make a two-part thought (let’s say something like “Are you hungry? Do you want me to make you something?”) and the subs would just offer a brief one part translation (in that example, perhaps “Want dinner?”). Other times it seemed more or less “even” in terms of words on screen to words being said, so I don’t know. Hopefully I’m just paranoid. Luckily, unlike Tale Of Two Sisters, it’s not like I could possibly be misunderstanding the movie or anything, as it was fairly straight-forward.

And the less time you spend reading, the more time you can spend appreciating the gorgeous visuals. It’s a remarkably colorful film, almost like old-school Argento at times, and there’s a nice balance of dark and light scenes. Red obviously comes up a lot (this movie has to have some sort of record on showing fast-forming pools of fresh blood), but the palette is very wide-ranging, another unexpected surprise (I heard it was “like a Korean Seven” and immediately pictured a movie filled with browns and grays). There’s also a wonderful energy to the action scenes, particularly the big finale where Lee “kidnaps” Choi in the middle of a police capture, as well as their first fight in a greenhouse. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jee-woon Kim was the next director to be courted by Hollywood (assuming he hasn’t been already) – I think he could make a really kick-ass Bourne type action film.

The rape and often quite disturbing violence might put some off, but if you could handle Oldboy then you should be fine with this. The length doesn’t really hurt and the two leads are endlessly watchable, plus even the weak spot of the film has its moments. A terrific film.

What say you?

PLEASE, GO ON...

The Zombie Farm (2009)

MARCH 3, 2011

GENRE: ZOMBIE
SOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)

I will give The Zombie Farm (formerly Macumba) this much credit – it’s not the generic zombie film its cover and synopsis would lead you to believe. Even with another film named Zombie Farm already on the marketplace, it has its own voice and should stick out from the (too many) zombie movies on the shelves today. Unfortunately, it’s also geared specifically at the Latino audience, which is NOT part of the description, and thus that will likely lead to some disappointment from a general audience.

While I’m all for “foreign” horror films, it just felt a little awkward watching one where characters are looked down upon for finding Americans attractive (especially since it was filmed in Louisiana, not in say, Mexico), and somewhat annoying when you consider that this sort of stuff seemingly takes up more screen-time than the damn zombies. It takes nearly forty minutes for our first proper zombie scene (and he’s by himself), but by then we’ve already been given a five minute lecture about Latino women disgracing their people by wanting to wear blue contact lenses in order to look like “them” (Americans). Yeah yeah, we suck, we’re the bullies of the world... fine – get to the goddamn zombies! You can flat out call us racists for all I care, but make sure there’s a flesh eater nearby to at least keep the entertainment value afloat.

Plus the zombie action is wholly unsatisfying. The gore and makeup have a borderline grade school level of quality, and the heroes barely even kill any themselves. Bullets to the head don’t even work, which is kind of cool when it first happens but they don’t really exploit it nor do they come up with a satisfying alternative way of stopping them (plucking out their eyes, perhaps?). Instead, the zombies collectively all just sort of burn up and drop dead at the end of the film, due to an accident that caused some important voodoo element to burn up. How about that! The only reason our heroes are alive is because someone else was careless. It’s like having Jar-Jar and Anakin bumble their way to victory at the end of Phantom Menace, but with shitty effects and no John Williams.

I liked that it was a voodoo-based zombie “outbreak” (there’s like 20 total zombies in the movie), however. The Louisiana setting was already giving me some Fulci/The Beyond flashbacks, so it was fitting and again, a nice change of pace from the usual chemical-based stuff (or just having no explanation). However they don’t spend enough time with the voodoo priestess (who has a delightfully profane mouth), because writer/director Ricardo Islas is too busy with scenes that seem lifted out of some lame romantic comedy. Yes, our two leads – a documentary filmmaker and a con artist with a heart of gold – engage in “witty” repartee every other scene, and it gets tiresome after about 20 minutes (generous estimate). Oh, she walked into a double entendre! Oh, he acts like a handsome lothario when he’s a chubby average guy! WHERE ARE THE ZOMBIES? This, I suspect, is what happens when there are something like 15 producers listed at the top of the film – you get a movie that tries to work on too many different (and incompatible) levels.

And did I just miss it, or did they never live up to the elderly grandma zombie that was more or less promised? We see her with a giant bite on her leg but I can’t recall ever seeing her again (I might have dozed for a couple minutes). I know I didn’t miss the rather idiotic “twist” (spoiler!) when the now zombie abusive boyfriend character suddenly becomes a hero, attacking the voodoo priestess who is slapping around the woman he himself slapped around (which started this whole mess in the first place). I’m all for poetic justice, but it just comes out of nowhere and doesn’t really fit with the zombie mythology. Then again, shooting them in the head didn’t even work, so I guess it shouldn’t surprise me. Still, if you’re going to have zombies that retain some of their humanity, it should be with a character who displayed some prior to becoming a zombie. It also should be explored more than 12 seconds before the end of the movie (well, not the actual end, but 12 seconds before all the zombies die and thus we stop caring about whatever’s happening in the movie).

The only bonus feature besides an endless trailer reel is a 15 minute making of featurette that seems like it was produced for a 3rd party basic cable or internet show. It’s very geared toward the benefits of shooting in Lousiana – it’s not often you hear about tax incentives on the bonus material (and for good reason – it’s fucking boring), and the local crews and scenery are also given quite a bit of praise. There’s not a lot of discussion of the story or even the characters, but we DO learn that “DP” stands for “Director of Photography” and that his job is to work closely with the director. So there’s something.

So it’s a bit too all over the place to really work on any level, but if you are in the mood for a rom-com/domestic abuse fable/minimalist zombie movie hybrid, I can’t think of any better option than The Zombie Farm!

What say you?

PLEASE, GO ON...

Milo (1998)

MARCH 2, 2011

GENRE: KILLER KID
SOURCE: STREAMING (NETFLIX INSTANT)

If you pay attention to the end credits of Milo (and you damn well should! Our nation’s end titlers are the real heroes), you will notice the peculiar rewording of the usual legal language, informing you that the film was indeed based on real events. Well, I Googled for a while, and I couldn’t find anything about the world’s most incompetent schoolteacher being stalked by a 45 year old child that has gained super-strength as the result of being a botched abortion, so I guess they took some liberties for their version.

At times, Milo really works, which is probably why it was recommended by HMAD readers Thomas and Amanda (who didn't link her blog!). The little bastard’s voice is a bit Chucky-like (well, older, not trying to be funny Chucky), and kids in protective weather clothing are always scary (Don’t Look Now, The Brood...), but the script really botches a key element of a successful killer kid movie – scenes with the kid! Writer Craig Mitchell treats the film almost like a whodunit, with absolutely no scenes of Milo just being a kid or acting strangely around the adults. And even in the kill scenes, he barely appears – we just see his arm or quick glimpses of his back as he slices away. At first I suspected that there was a twist to the story (he’s a ghost, it’s not him, that sort of crap), hence the need to obscure his size and face during these scenes, as well as keep him from acting creepy when it makes no sense for him to do so (like in Hide and Seek). But no, he’s the killer, there’s no real twist, and the movie just plain shot itself in the foot on a narrative level.

Instead, we just get about a dozen scenes of our rather dim protagonist getting mocked by her students, questioned by the cops, or asking another character if they think she’s crazy. Like Milo, we don’t spend any time with the folks who may actually get killed (such as her two friends in town, the janitor, the principal, or even her goddamn fish, which she talks to and coddles like it’s a dog), which would have allowed their death scenes (when applicable) to be sort of scary. But no – if we suddenly cut to one of her friends sitting at home alone, getting ready for bed, we know she’s a goner before the second shot in the sequence.

They also botch using one of their key assets – Vincent Schiavelli! The late actor is one of the great creepy character actors of all time, and yet his role is so insignificant they might as well have just tossed one of the PAs in the role and saved money hiring the only recognizable actor. Unless you count an unbilled Mila Kunis, playing one of the students (this movie must have been on the shelf for a couple years, because she looks about 12 but it was the same year 70’s Show came on the air). But even she gets more to do than Schiavelli, who shows up near the end, delivers some minor exposition, and is then found dead a few scenes later.

The editing also sucks. More than a couple scenes just come out of nowhere (particularly an important one that results in the death of another friend – they’re suddenly just driving along a road and Milo appears in front of them), and the ending doesn’t even make sense. A janitor cleans some fresh graffiti saying “Milo Was Here”, but then they cut to Milo suddenly jumping out in a completely different area attacking a completely different person. Huh? Plus it seems like a third of the movie consists of establishing shots of the school and close-ups of playground equipment. I mean, it’s still a killer kid movie and thus automatically somewhat entertaining, but throughout the whole thing I just kept spotting ways in which they screwed it up.

Interestingly, the movie kind of started off like Valentine – five girls are creeped out by a weird little kid, and there’s a tragedy. Years later, one of the girls dies and the others reunite, only to start getting picked off one by one. So I figured they would introduce some handsome dude and then reveal at the end that he was the grown-up Milo, but no. Milo just stayed a little kid for reasons that they never explain, and his motive for killing these particular girls never becomes clear either. But, you know, he sounds weird when he’s killing them, so it’s kind of entertaining.

Basically, for killer kid completists only. Everyone else, you’re not allowed to watch it until you’ve seen Orphan, The Children (both of them), Joshua, The Pit, and (obviously) Cathy’s Curse. Once you’ve been properly educated in the realm of killer kid films, then I guess it's OK if you want to kill some time with Milo.

What say you?

PLEASE, GO ON...

Yoga (2009)

MARCH 1, 2011

GENRE: ASIAN, SUPERNATURAL
SOURCE: DVD (ONLINE RENTAL)

Even by Korean horror standards, Yoga (Korean: Yoga Hakwon) is pretty baffling; I feel like I spent the entire third act making a “what the hell?” face. But at least I’m not alone; assuming I had missed a plot point or overlooked a key bit of information, I went online to seek some answers, only to discover no one seemed to really get the final scene of the film. Luckily, it wasn’t enough to wreck what was otherwise a pretty solid K-horror entry, and further strengthened my opinion that the Korean horror output is much more interesting than the more popular (over here anyway) Japanese entries.

Like Beyond Dream’s Door, Yoga is a movie that does a better job at depicting dream logic than most of the Nightmare On Elm Street films, which is even more impressive when you consider that there aren’t any traditional dream scenes, but rather waking hallucinations (if I am understanding THAT much anyway). But they function more or less the same way, with a character sort of being confronted by their weakness in a scene that starts more or less realistically and gradually becomes more surreal. And the movie works in a hook as the backdrop for each of these sequences – our five protagonists are the students of a very exclusive and peculiar yoga training program, where the instructor forbids them to shower within an hour of their training, eat any food past breakfast, look at themselves in the mirror, etc. So basically each girl breaks a different rule, with typically horrifying results. But unlike the lesser Nightmare sequels, it doesn’t seem like these scenes were designed first with the plot connecting them tossed in later – they grow organically out of the story.

It also appealed to my “fear” of yoga. Back in 2004, my girlfriend convinced me to join her for “couples yoga”, which, as you might expect, wasn’t exactly my cup of tea. I was (WAS, Collins? Like you’re some fucking fitness guru now?) too out of shape to do much anyway (plus our height difference didn’t help – we made one lopsided “yoga tree”, that’s for sure), but some of their maneuvers legitimately frightened me – I was convinced someone was going to break their neck or back or something. So in the movie, when a girl twisted her legs around in a 360 degree turn, or another began moving like a snake, I was genuinely unnerved, because it wasn’t too far from what I expect to happen in yoga studios NOT run by immortal witches.

Oh yeah, I got a Suspiria vibe at times, particularly in the 3rd act when coherency sort of goes by the wayside. It’s not as gory or colorful as Argento’s film, but the influence is still apparent, and it was a nice surprise. I always expect these movies to boil down to “she’s an angry ghost”, but there was more to it than that. Some of it involved a film director who recently died, and his story is being investigated by the boyfriend of our main character. These scenes never quite gelled with the rest of the movie, and it felt like the storyline never quite reached a climax or even a turning point, but for an hour or so, they were a nice diversion.

I just wish M-line (the DVD distributor) hadn’t given the film such a shitty presentation. It looked quite nice, but it was a non-anamorphic transfer of a 2.35:1 movie. Normally I would just zoom in and be done with it, but they laid their subtitles out in a way that kept me from doing so, as it would cut out the bottom part of every line. So I had to watch the movie “windowboxed”, with the actual image taking up like half of my screen, and the girls were pretty chatty so the lack of a dubbed track was also unfortunate – I feel like I was rarely able to just enjoy the images, particularly in the 1st act. They also neglected to provide subtitles for what seemed like a pretty important message written on a mirror near the end of the film; our heroine is pretty disturbed by it but we have no idea what it says!

It’s a shame that the Asian-horror remake craze has died down, because this one could actually work in a US setting. The film’s basic concept about what young women will do to retain their youthful beauty is fairly universal, and there would be some perverse irony to casting five girls from the CW breeding grounds to play these women, since their own careers will be over by the year 2020 or so. And I’d love to see what director Jae-yeon Yun could do with Hollywood resources (provided he was left alone) and a more accessible script. His only other film is Whispering Corridors 3, which I will hopefully enjoy once I see/enjoy the first two entries (anyone see them? Good? Worth hunting down?).

In short – best horror movie about yoga ever.

What say you?

PLEASE, GO ON...

The Traveler (2010)

FEBRUARY 28, 2011

GENRE: REVENGE, SUPERNATURAL
SOURCE: DVD (STORE RENTAL)

Do you like Fringe? Then you will hate The Traveler for wasting what could have been a perfectly good Fringe episode (with the obvious tinkering). The scenario is fine, but it in no way lends itself to a 90 minute feature, so you're left with a lot of repetition and padding, and a third act that revolves around "revealing" things that any intelligent viewer would have figured 40 minutes ago.

Now, that might be a bit misleading, because there's nothing scientific about the movie, but at its heart is a supernatural tale of somewhat justifiable revenge, something Fringe has tackled on occasion, and the beats of the tale would better be served by a TV show - start with a weird murder, bring in our guys, learn some info, another murder, yakkity yak, murder, reveal, murder, revenge complete, end of episode. It would also give us an "in" to the story that the movie lacks - the entire plot hinges on six people who did something terrible a year ago and their victim who is seeking revenge. There's no one to explain anything to, so instead we just get a bunch of repetitive flashbacks showing us what they did, with no one to root for (they viciously tortured and beat a suspect into a coma) - who the hell am I supposed to care about here? They should have had a "new guy" or another (innocent) prisoner or SOMEONE worth latching onto. Worse, the 2nd flashback (maybe 25 minutes into the movie) shows us EVERYTHING, rendering future flashbacks pointless.

Then again, maybe I just had Fringe on the brain because the "hero" of the movie is Dylan Neal, best known as Pacey's older brother Doug on Dawson's Creek. So while Pacey has graduated to a really great TV show, Doug is playing second fiddle to a bored Val Kilmer (what HAPPENED to you, man?), stuck in between playing the showy villain (Kilmer) and one of the random cops who at least get to take part in surprisingly gory death scenes. No, all Neal gets to do is talk to the ghost of his daughter (during the most baffling climax I've seen in a movie in quite some time) after spending 80 minutes angrily storming up and down hallways with a flashlight. I guess we're supposed to root for him because his daughter died and thus he's sad, but stabbing a guy in the chest with a pen after he claimed he was innocent is sort of hard to justify. Plus he was always a dick to Pacey.

But at least he seems like a real cop (hey, Doug was a cop too! Should I just cut the review here and go watch Dawson's Creek?), unlike the other five officers. Two of them puke at the sight of a corpse, which you'd think would be something they'd be prepared for, and one guy I can't even figure out how he passed the exams - the cops in Police Academy looked more competent than this clown. The lone female officer also shows zero signs of the authority one should possess to be a cop; screaming and running around like any old slasher victim when presented with danger. Guess this is why you don't see too many horror films populated entirely with cops. Maybe if I recognized any of them it would have been more fun (or at least made them somewhat worth rooting for), but they're all anonymous Canadian actors. Maybe next time Kilmer can bring along his "we pissed away our career" DTV cohorts like Tom Sizemore, Cuba Gooding Jr, and Michael Madsen - it can be like the DVD version of Identity or something.

And who the hell thought the grinding guitar music was a good idea? Rarely has a film score been more intrusive. The kill scenes don't make a hell of a lot of sense as it is (Kilmer seemingly uses telekinesis), but the obnoxious score just makes them unbearable to boot. I mean, the movie's been boring me to tears from the end of the first reel, so you'd think that suddenly tossing guts and skin and blood around the set (for real) would make up for it, but the awful score ruins their appeal (not to mention that the tone is completely out of place with the rest of the rather moody film).

At least it LOOKS nice. The scope imagery was a nice surprise, and Neil Cervin's photography was appropriately dark and cold (I bet he watched the Assault on Precinct 13 remake beforehand - this movie also leaves its police station for the woods at one point, in fact). And the flashbacks have that desaturated look that lets you know it's a flashback, which I appreciate after yesterday's The Bleeding, where it was a bit of a guessing game since both flashbacks and present day scenes were over-filtered.

No extras. Not a complaint.

What say you?

PLEASE, GO ON...

The Bleeding (2009)

FEBRUARY 27, 2011

GENRE: VAMPIRE
SOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)

On paper, the basic concept behind The Bleeding is fine: take an over-muscled tough guy not unlike (read: borderline plagiarized from) Vin Diesel's character in the Fast & Furious films and put him in a vampire/action hybrid. Should be perfectly enjoyable B-movie fun, right? Well, the makers (or the financiers) of the movie must have been hell-bent on making sure that they never even came close to achieving that level of entertainment, which is probably why it's been on the shelf for 2-3 years.

The biggest problem is the near total lack of action. I was worried right from the start, as the movie (after a fairly cool opening credits sequence) started with what was obviously the film's climax. There are only two reasons to do this in a movie; one is to toy with the audience, and present the scene in a whole new light once you have the additional information that the movie provided (Usual Suspects is a good example). The other is to simply pad out a short running time and make up for the lack of any action in the first half. Guess which category this movie falls under, with a running time of 82 minutes and a plot that can basically be boiled down to "Meathead kills some vampires"?

Instead, we just get a lot of padding, and thus a lot of boredom. Our hero (Michael Matthias, who makes Diesel look like he's got the range of John Hawkes or someone) is prone to driving around, looking fondly at his town's waterfront or something, and then driving away, or providing voiceover consisting of bible passages laced with tough guy profanity. Most insulting is when Michael Madsen (the film's lone bright spot, unless you count the very lovely Rachelle Leah) asks our hero to, you know, kill vampires. Matthias says no, then wanders around the woods for what seems like a full five minutes before (spoiler) deciding he will indeed kill vampires. There's also a scene with Armand Assante that seems transplanted from another movie entirely (Assante is in the one scene and never mentioned again).

It's also loaded with inane editing, particularly in the first act, that suggests perhaps the film was re-edited in post (hey, it's been on the shelf for years, might as well play around with it). It's difficult to tell what is happening in the past or in the present, and Matthias' voice-over often seems added to sum up deleted scenes and plot points, particularly the Afghanistan based back-story that is crucial to the creation of the film's villain (Vinnie Jones) but is treated like an afterthought. I also love when DMX (!) informs us that vampires "hunt alone" and then they cut to a shot of 3-4 vampires hunting together. The idiotic "let's play the ending of the movie!" concept also spoils the death of Leah's friend - not that it was a major shock, but she doesn't die until nearly the end of the film. Maybe they thought we'd forget about it by the time she got around to dying?

Then again, you can't really blame them for wanting to use this sequence twice, because it's the only time the movie becomes sort of fun. It's essentially the climax of Road Warrior, but at night (not enough car chases at night, in my opinion) and with vampires instead of crazy gang dudes. The film was directed by veteran stunt guru Charles Picerni, so he ensures a lot of cool acrobatics and even a few good shots (love the sideways-traveling truck passing over the camera), and I laughed like a loon at Matthias standing on top of his barely in-control truck shooting two guns without being affected by gravity or any of that silly stuff. Honestly if the movie was just 82 minutes of this, I would have loved it. Unfortunately it's very brief, and they stupidly killed off Madsen and his partner, making it a suspense-less battle. At least if Madsen and the other guy were around, we could tense up whenever they were in danger, as there was a chance they might die (unlike Matthias and Leah), but no - they blew themselves up before the chase even began.

And can we do away with the "vampires in a nightclub" concept? Blade cornered the market on that over a decade ago, and since every action/vampire movie since has pretty much sucked, no one has forgotten about it. We also haven't forgotten the horrors of Van Helsing, so why they outfitted Jones in a nearly identical getup is beyond me (dig his long hair though).

The disc has a few brief extras, which seem to have been created for a website or something due to their brevity and basic worthlessness. One has some interviews with the cast (including Assante, who does nothing to dispel my belief that he was from a different movie by talking about how these guys have a "code" and such), one covers the stunts, and another features the makeup, including footage of Kat Von D, a horribly unappealing woman that is featured front and center on the DVD box despite having a role in the film that's essentially that of a glorified background extra.

It's never a good thing when you sit down WANTING a brainless B-movie to enjoy and it can't even deliver. I hate to be too harsh on it because I can almost guarantee that the script was probably a good read, and again it shows signs of post-production tinkering. Alas, Matthias' woeful performance and a fatal lack of action (or even some tension - you can save all the action for the end as long as you're building suspense, like Executive Decision) overpower what little is left to enjoy. Wait for Fast Five and/or Underworld 4.

What say you?

PLEASE, GO ON...

Night Of The Living Dead 3D (2006)

FEBRUARY 26, 2011

GENRE: REMAKE, ZOMBIE
SOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)

Luckily for the cast and crew of Night Of The Living Dead 3D (or Night Of The Living De3D, which is too stupid for my fingers to type with any regularity), I just watched the 30th Anniversary edition of the original film, and thus used up all my ability to hate a film for “butchering a classic” or “raping my childhood” or whatever the hell else people will toss out whenever reviewing a remake that they wanted to hate from the minute they heard about it (I just hated the music and editing, myself). So I think it’s mainly because of that that I was able to get through this one with minimal eye-rolling and annoyance.

I mean, it’s not a very good movie, but it’s less hacky than I expected, which after yesterday’s debacle made it look like a goddamn classic in comparison. And even without that in mind, there’s a lot to like here: the makeup is good, the zombies are slow, the lead actress is fetching (Timber Falls’ Brianna Brown), and unlike Savini’s version, they don’t just make minor variations on the original movie – it’s more like Dawn 04 in that it takes the same basic concept and changes most everything else (it even has a sort-of explanation for the zombies). In short, it’s basically just another mediocre 00s zombie movie, but shot well and cast with a few real actors.

And in 3D, of course. I didn’t realize it when I bought it, but there is actually no option to watch it in 2D on the disc, like most 3D releases have. Since the red/blue style is unwatchable at home (the red always overpowers the blue, giving a weird flashing effect over lighter/white areas of the frame), I couldn’t watch the entire movie like that lest I get a blinding headache, but it was just as annoying watching it without the glasses and seeing red/blue “shadows” everywhere. So I spent most of the movie alternating between glasses on, glasses off, and glasses on but covering my right (red) eye. Headache kept at bay! However, I should note that the 3D DESIGN is actually quite good – there are some requisite ‘pop out’ gags, but nowhere near as intrusive as Friday the 13th Part 3, and director Jeff Broadstreet and his DP/3D team really put effort into creating depth with the shots and lighting it appropriately so that the glasses don’t dull the image too much. I also quite like how they “introduce” the 3D element, by starting on black and white footage from the first movie (in 2D), only to zoom out and pan to reveal it’s just playing on a TV in this (now) 3D world. Very cool.

However this leads to one of my problems with the movie. It takes place in the real world, where NOTLD is a movie, and yet even though the characters in this movie are watching it, no one notices how strange it is that they all have the same names (Ben, Barbra, Karen, Helen, Tom, Judy.... Harry is changed to Henry, however). Since they were more or less doing their own thing, I am baffled why they kept the same names, especially with the original film playing in the background a couple of times. It certainly doesn’t help in the case of Ben – in a bit of unintentional irony, not only is he white, he’s a fucking terrible actor (Duane Jones got the role because he was a great actor, not because he was black – the role was written without a race in mind). I assume this guy only got the gig because he was handsome, but whatever the reason was, I wish someone had the foresight to change his name, because it just invites unfavorable comparison to the original.

My other main problem was the drug humor. In this version, the farmhouse is actually a weed farm, and the occupants are stoner/hippie types. This sort of comedy has never appealed to me, and I certainly don’t think it has any place in an otherwise serious horror movie (there isn’t a touch of humor in the film until the pot farmers are introduced). One of the film’s biggest “Comin at ya!” moments is a guy offering a joint to Barb and Ben, holding the oversized thing out in the foreground with a Franco-esque dumbass look on his face – this would inspire a huge round of applause on a college campus, I am sure, but I just sighed and lost interest for the next few minutes. I also particularly hated the Henry character, who runs the farm, and was shocked to discover the actor playing him was a stand-up comedian – he was the least amusing of the lot. I did feel a little better later, when I learned that this stuff was at the insistence of one of the executive producers (screenwriter Robert Valding was opposed to it, in fact).

It could have done without Sid Haig as well. I like the guy, but the best zombie movies don’t stop to explain everything in the middle of the climax, which is precisely what his character does here. The zombies are in fact the folks who should have been cremated at Haig’s mortuary, but he didn’t have the stomach to burn them so he just kept them all. He also keeps his father “alive” as a zombie by feeding it, Seymour Krelborn style (though why this doesn’t make him turn into a zombie is beyond me). One of the things I was sort of enjoying about the movie was that it toned down the human in-fighting (Cooper and Ben argue briefly but never really become antagonistic toward one another), but then Haig comes along in the 3rd act (he only appears once before then) and does the whole “evil human” shit we’ve seen in a zillion other zombie movies, with a plotline that barely even makes any sense to boot.

The DVD bonus material is largely on the technical side, including the commentary, which despite the number of participants (4 including Haig, who shows up late) is primarily joke-free. Much of the talk is about the 3D process and other shooting nuts n’ bolts stuff, and then Sid discusses his performance with minimal self-deprecation. Not a bad track, but more geared toward 3D junkies and/or those who truly loved the film, of which I am neither. There’s also a Q&A from the New Bev (2nd bonus feature of its type this week! Both of screenings I can’t even recall taking place let alone why I missed them), which is worth a look for HMAD aficionados (if there are any) for the moment where Haig bemoans A Dead Calling’s direct-to-DVD release (fans know that I consider that to be one of the absolute worst movies I’ve reviewed yet). Then there’s a making of, a quick bit about working in 3D, some trailers, and a blooper reel which is not only unfunny, but almost sort of uncomfortable because no one seems to be amused when things go wrong (it’s also missing the audio on several clips, rendering it impossible to understand what exactly went wrong). Not a bad package, all told, but I’d dump nearly all of it in order to afford the disc space that would allow the 2D version to be included (apparently it’s available on a separate release, but the design is worth at least sampling, I think).

Overall, it’s not as successful as Savini’s version by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s hardly a train wreck, either. Compared to the likes of House of the Dead (hey, Haig appeared in that film’s sequel!), Dorm Of The Dead, or Pot Zombies, it’s a classic. And when my biggest problem with a film is humor that I’m just not a fan of in general (humor that was forced upon the film’s creative team to boot), I have to factor that into the equation. And again – these guys did a better job of “re-imagining” Romero’s film than his own partners did with the 30th anniversary thing. That’s gotta be worth some credit, right?

At any rate, NOTLD week is over! I can go back to watching movies sans any sort of planning or focus on a theme. I can also hopefully go a week or so without hearing any variation on “They’re coming to get you, Barbra!” (speaking of which – giant UGH on the “modern” version of that in this movie, luckily the trailer had already spoiled it so I was prepared). Plus, my “overdose” gave me an idea for my next Terror Tuesday column at Badass Digest, so it was all worth it!

What say you?

PLEASE, GO ON...

Night Of The Living Dead: 30th Anniversary Edition (1998)

FEBRUARY 25, 2011

GENRE: CRAP, ZOMBIE
SOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)

There's a wealth of extras on the Night Of The Living Dead: 30th Anniversary Edition DVD, but none accurately explain why John Russo and Russ Streiner did it in the first place. One can assume that they saw it as another way to make some money off the property (again, a copyright snafu has resulted in Romero and co. seeing a mere fraction of what they could/should have earned as a result of the film's success), but every single thing that they added or changed in this version can be described as awful at best.

They were also likely inspired by George Lucas' revisions to the original three Star Wars films, but there are two key differences. One is that he had the money and resources to do these things properly (for lack of a better word), and two (and this is far more important), he didn't go back and shoot new scenes while removing others. Now, he DID add in some scenes (such as Han meeting Jabba), but these were originally shot for the film and excised for one reason or another. He also fixed up some effects and changed some things (via CGI wizardry) to make the films connect more with the others, such as adding Hayden's face to Anakin at the end of Jedi. Sure, the general consensus is that these things took the charm out of the film, but one can still watch them and more or less get the original experience.

But what Russo and Streiner did here is nothing short of offensive, filming entirely new scenes that were in no way part of the original design. If they can prove that these scenes (or even the basic idea behind them) were planned in 1967 while the original film was in production, then fine, I will take back that part. It doesn't change the fact that they are awful in every way - from casting to writing to their production. Look at the new scene where the cemetery zombie (Bill Hinzman, another conspirator) attacks some folks - it's shot from a stationary wide angle that looks like a 12 year old's idea of an action scene. The action in Night may not exactly be the most jaw-dropping zombie carnage ever shot, but at least Romero knew how to shoot it in a visually interesting way (via closeups, editing, etc). Worse, they actually REMOVE other scenes, which just makes their amateurish and ugly new scenes look even worse. Say what you will about Lucas, he didn't cut out any of Mark Hamill's performance because of his corny acting or whatever. But Russo deletes scenes (Barbra telling Ben about what happened at the cemetery, for example) with no rhyme or reason throughout the film. Tightening some bad edits is one thing; they actually just hack away at the film.

Even more offensive is the new music score by Scott Vladimir Licina, who thankfully hasn't been allowed near another film since (his only other credit is composing a short film six years after this debacle). Nearly all of the original music has been replaced by his god-awful, borderline Manfredini-level score, which not only just sounds bad but doesn't even fit the film 99% of the time. Even someone who unfortunately saw this version before seeing the original would be able to tell that the music didn't fit, which just shows you how terrible a composer this guy is - the original Night was scored with found library music, and yet it works better than this shit that was allegedly recorded specifically for the film. Licina also appears as a priest in some of the new scenes, in which he proves that he should stick to composing.

The closest thing to a positive remark I can say about the film is that the new scenes do indeed blend well on a technical level with the original footage. They used the same cameras and film stock, so apart from the improved exposure and unavoidable modern sensibilities (plus some too-advanced gore techniques on the new zombies), they don't stick out too badly. Far less successful is the attempt to make Hinzman look 30 years younger so he can reprise his role as the cemetery zombie (which we now get a back-story for, as if anyone gave a shit); they should have just pulled an Ed Wood and found a guy who (sort of) looked like a young Hinzman rather than put him in makeup that made him look more like Hal Holbrook than his old character.

The bonus material is just as worthless. Russo is strangely absent from the making of, but Streiner and the others talk about how they are "slightly" changing the original film, and everyone talks about it like they are doing something really great, and hilariously assuming fans will really appreciate it (to this day I have never heard of a single person liking it). Russo does appear on the commentary with Hinzman, Streiner, and a 4th party who barely speaks (I forget who it is already, not Licina though), where they spend precious little time explaining what the fuck they were thinking, and for the most part just tell the same goddamn stories they've told a million times on the documentaries and commentaries featured on the legitimate versions of the film.

Then there's an awful music video (techno remix of dialogue and Licina's beats), a trailer for the new edition, a scene from some movie Hinzman made (presented without any sort of context or information - the movie was ten years old at the time so it's not like it's a preview or something), and a still gallery. There's also a booklet made up of interviews with Russo, Striner, Hinzman, Licina, and Debbie Rochon (another actor from the new scenes), all of which repeat the insane idea that they think people will like this shit. Oh, and there's a second disc with Licina's entire soundtrack, so you have twice as many discs to break in half.

But you know what annoys me more than anything they've done here? The fact that this pile of shit doesn't have its own IMDb page. Licina and Rochon are now listed as cast members for a movie that came out before they were born (in fact, if you just type "Rochon" into IMDb's search engine, Night Of The Living Dead is the title they put next to her name in the results - ugh), and Licina is listed as its composer. This is a disgrace, and if I had the time and know-how I would create a separate page for this piece of shit. This is not Night Of The Living Dead - this is an abomination, and I despise everyone involved with it. Avoid at all costs.

What say you?

PLEASE, GO ON...

Autopsy Of The Dead (2009)

FEBRUARY 24, 2011

GENRE: DOCUMENTARY
SOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)

After 40+ years, there’s not a lot of uncovered ground when it comes to Night Of The Living Dead (don’t I know it, after ODing on bonus material about the film this week), so I can certainly appreciate the approach to Autopsy Of The Dead, which, with the exception of Bill Hinzman and maybe Kyra Schon (the little Cooper girl), devotes its time to folks you don’t really hear from all that often. No Romero, no Karl Hardman, no Russ Streiner, hell not even John Russo, who I kept expecting to barge into someone else’s interview and talk about how important he was in the film’s creation and execution.

Of course, it’s entirely possible that the folks behind the movie simply couldn’t get/afford those others and were forced to change their approach. Bizarrely for a 2.5 hour doc (with another hour’s worth of bonus material), there isn’t a single mention or appearance of writer/producer/director Jeff Carney or anyone else in his crew. You’d think with all this stuff, and a fairly impressive talent roster (pretty much everyone beyond the big guns) they’d at least give themselves a commentary or brief interview about how they found everyone, what made them want to do the project, etc – but there’s absolutely nothing.

So all I can go by is the film itself, and sadly it’s pretty much a bore. The structure is wholly damaging; rather than tell the story of the film’s production from start to finish like a normal doc on a movie, Carney starts things off with a full hour of interviews, one at a time, with each participant talking about what they did and when applicable which zombie they played (seems like just about everyone played two roles – some crew position and anonymous zombie). This is a terrible way to present a documentary, in my opinion; it just comes across like someone hitting “Play All” on an outtake collection or something.

Once they get through all of this, it improves a bit, as the participants are edited together discussing one particular aspect – three or four folks discussing filming the truck explosion, two or three discussing the creation of the news footage scenes, etc. But while it’s at least more enjoyable from a technical standpoint, it’s still pretty dull. Their anecdotes aren’t all that amusing, and the fact remains that these folks are, for the most part, only tangentially related to the film’s production and thus don’t really have a lot of insight to share (one guy even starts his interview by pointing out that he only worked on the film for ten minutes). Let’s face it - a zombie extra doesn’t know shit except about what happened right in front of him/her on the day or two that they were there. Maybe as a half hour sort of “Tales from the Trenches” piece as a supplement on a traditional Night release, this could have been worthwhile, but two and a half hours (longer than even the longest cut of Dawn of the Dead!) devoted to telling stories about lighting mishaps or low budget workarounds for props or sets does not make for a compelling film. You also get a lot of stories about the other people who aren’t there, which is like telling your friends at the bar about the fish some other guy caught.

Plus, not for nothing, but it’s pretty poorly shot. At least two participants are shot in front of a white wall while wearing a white shirt, and pretty much everyone has their lav mike clipped on the outside of their shirt. I mean, come on guys, this is basic first year film school shit. I can forgive one or two carelessly shot interviews (i.e. from the first day, where most folks would be like “Oh from now on we shouldn’t do this or that” for future interviews), but they all have a fairly lazy and amateurish feel. It’s obvious that they put a lot of effort into tracking everyone down and researching the original shooting locations and such; just a shame they didn’t put as much effort into the presentation (which includes the editing – or lack thereof). I was also baffled by the DVD construction – at around the 86 minute mark, the timecode and chapter breaks reset for the final 55 minutes or so. What the hell?

The bonus materials are fine, nothing too exciting but some good stuff for NOTLD junkies. The best is probably the 10 minute collection of “locations – then and now” footage, where we see a clip from the movie and then a similar shot of what it looks like today. Unlike Dawn of the Dead’s now unrecognizable Monroeville Mall, a lot of the locales are pretty similar looking (the house is gone, however), so this is better than most things of that nature. However most of it was used in the film itself, so it’s sort of redundant. Speaking of clips from the movie by the way – couldn’t they have ponied up for a decent release? Looks like they took their footage from a sub-Mill Creek transfer. There’s also a nice dedication to the cast/crew members who have since passed on, which is a nice touch (there are quite a few; I wasn’t aware Keith “Tom” Wayne had passed, and I was even more bummed to discover that he actually committed suicide).

The rest of the stuff is pretty bland; a “newsreel” that’s just a bunch of footage without narration, a longer interview with the guy who did the animation during the end credits (why him, of all people?), a decent collection of archival materials such as a check that they gave to zombie extras (for 25 bucks) and the album covers for the library music that they used in the movie, and a blooper reel of interview outtakes, none of which I found particularly amusing (and considering the average age of the participants seems to be about 75, there’s not a lot of humor to be found in someone losing his train of thought). They also toss in a bunch of trailers and radio spots for the actual film, which I guess they just figured they might as well throw in since they had it lying around.

I really wish I could have liked this more. Maybe if they cut it in half (at least) and had a more interesting presentation it would work, but as is, I think you need to be the biggest NOTLD fan in the world to find this stuff interesting, and even you will probably be reaching for the chapter skip button after a while. It’s a laudable concept with a totally lackluster execution.

What say you?

PLEASE, GO ON...

Rubber (2010)

FEBRUARY 23, 2011

GENRE: COMEDIC, HERO KILLER, WEIRD
SOURCE: THEATRICAL (PRESS SCREENING)

When I first heard about Rubber, I thought it was a short film. “There’s no way that can sustain itself for 90 minutes,” I said. Well I was right and wrong. It is indeed a feature film, running just under 90 minutes (though padded with an overlong epilogue), but it doesn’t sustain itself for that time, either. After about 50 minutes I started getting bored, and it wasn’t until the somewhat predictable but still inspired finale that my interest returned.

It doesn’t help that writer/director Quentin Dupieux never tops its opening scene, which starts with a car driving through the dusty desert, going out of its way to knock over a bunch of dining room chairs that are arranged up and down the road. The car stops, a man gets out of the trunk, is handed a glass of water by the driver, and then proceeds to ask the audience why ET was brown, or why we never see anyone in Texas Chain Saw Massacre washing their hands or going to the bathroom. The answer to all is “no reason”, which of course sets up the movie itself. “Why is a tire alive and rolling around killing people?” No reason.

The first few scenes with the tire (named Robert) are also its best. It figures out how to roll along without tipping over, kills a plastic bottle and a bug, and then goes to extreme efforts to kill a glass bottle by rolling over it (as it did for the plastic and the bug). It finally does so by “revving”, which causes nearby objects to explode after a few seconds (Robert is a Scanner, I guess). Then he moves on to people, and while I love a good head ‘splosion as much as the next guy, I wanted more of him running things over. It’s a killer tire movie and there isn’t a single scene of Robert rolling over some poor sod. Even if it didn’t kill him, it’s a damn shame that he never even attempts it.

From then on the laughs come a little less frequently. There are a number of truly inspired bits (love the “flashback” montage), and pretty much anything involving Stephen Spinella (the aforementioned “Why is ET brown?” guy) is gold, but there’s just too many scenes of Robert rolling up to someone, that person either dismisses or doesn’t notice him, and then he blows up their head. I also never really shined to the group of folks watching the action as if it was a movie (though one has the movie’s best line, a reaction to the chair-icide). Maybe just me, but a killer tire concept is already a tough sell – adding in meta-humor is not beneficial. Who recruited them, who’s behind their care (they seem to be living out in the desert for the duration of Robert’s rampage), etc, is never explained, and while that fits the movie’s “no reason” motif, there’s only so much WTF I can enjoy in a single movie.

Interestingly, my buddy (who loved it) pointed out that it was like a full length Adult Swim movie, and I agree. However, I feel the same way about Adult Swim shows – there’s only so much I can take. 10-15 minute “episodes” are ideal; as the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie perfectly illustrated, unfiltered randomness can only be funny for so long to me (oddly, that movie had an otherwise unrelated opening scene that was its own best part. Huh.). I love the show, but by about 45 minutes into that movie I was more or less OK with never seeing Meatwad or Master Shake again (Frylock, on the other hand, is always amazing).

I think it might have worked better for me if it was legitimately a horror movie, without all the meta shit. Basically take any Friday the 13th script and replace Jason with a tire – perfectly hilarious “no reason” movie. This other stuff just busied it up with time they could have spent on more traditional horror movie elements (chase scenes, for example – again you’d think that would be a given, but there isn’t one). I mean, you only get one chance to make a killer tire movie, you gotta do it right. There’s no way anyone else can rip it off (though I guess they could do a killer coffee mug or something).

Another factor was that Magnet showed the film as the 2nd feature after Hobo With A Shotgun, the movie born from a Grindhouse trailer (apparently it showed with the movie in some areas; it didn’t play when I saw it). Sort of like a Death Wish style movie by way of Troma, it was so much better than I expected, and I hope everyone involved with the rather lousy Machete sees this and says “THAT’S what we should have done!” Rutger Hauer is brilliant as the titular hobo, and while they try a bit too hard at times, the tone almost perfectly matches that of the genuine Grindhouse films from the 1970s. It’s also got some all time classic awful lines that had me laughing my ass off every couple of minutes. Also: best use of a bear in movie history. Highly recommended, just make sure you leave your politically correct merit badge at home. I can’t help but wonder if I would have enjoyed Rubber more if I saw it first (not unlike, ironically, how I think I would have enjoyed the slower and more subtle Death Proof more if it was first, saving the more outrageous and colorful Planet Terror for the main event).

But don’t get me wrong - it’s still definitely worth checking out. I doubt there will be a better example of “it’s not for everybody” for any movie this year, but I am even more sure that there won’t be anything as original and unique, either. All I ever ask is that more filmmakers use the freedom of horror movies to stretch their imaginations – even if it doesn’t completely work for me, I’d still rather see something like Rubber than another Final Destination movie.

What say you?

P.S. Quite fittingly, this was the first movie I drove my ‘new’ car to (if you recall, my previous car “died” when its tire (and the things connecting it to the car) broke off as I was pulling into a parking spot). For those curious, it’s a 2002 Chevy Impala with 38k miles on it, gold (gave up trying to find black or blue with respectable mileage in my price range) and with a tape deck – I drove to the screening room listening to a mix tape I made in 1997 (I haven’t had a tape deck in my car OR home for over a decade). Needs a bit of minor work (nothing preventing me from driving it – more “I want it to be as ‘new’ as I can make it), but I am once again on the road, and thus, I just want to thank you all again for your donations and Amazon purchases – it means the world to me and every penny helped more than you know. I may not be eating too many steaks in the near future, and I’ll have to cut back on comics and such, but rest assured, HMAD will live, all thanks to YOU! You guys all rock!!!

PLEASE, GO ON...

Non Canon Review: Night Of The Living Dead (1968)

FEBRUARY 23, 2011

GENRE: ZOMBIE
SOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)
LAST SEEN: MAY 2010 (REVIVAL SCREENING)

I still remember my first copy of Night Of The Living Dead; it was a VHS I found in a ‘dump bin’ at the local Suncoast, which means I probably got it for 4.99 at the absolute most. At the time, I didn’t know about its public domain issues (or even what public domain WAS), so I thought it was a steal – this was a classic horror movie! Psycho and Rosemary’s Baby and such all cost 19.99! Of course, the quality was awful, though not as bad as some others I’ve seen/owned (all told, I’ve probably owned eight or nine copies of the film over the years). My second copy was that 2 tape edition that Elite put out around 1997, and I remember being so blown away by the awesome ‘before and after’ example at the top of the tape showing how much work they put into the transfer.

Well this most recent “A-level” release (2008 from Dimension/Genius, released in conjunction with Diary of the Dead) is once again remastered, and it does indeed look the best I’ve ever seen. The photography is actually quite striking at times, particularly in Barbra’s hectic run from the cemetery to the house, as well as the truck “escape” later on, and previous releases never offered this much detail and strong contrast ratios. Add in the quite worthy bonus features, and this is probably the best bang for the buck release ever of this movie (though the 1999 special edition was no slouch either, and in fact I am pretty sure the commentaries on this disc were taken from that release).

The movie, of course, is a classic, and I never tire of watching it. Even Dawn, which I more or less prefer, I really need to be in the mood to watch (partially due to the length), but Night I can throw on pretty much whenever and be just as entertained as I was the first time. And since it was I believe the first time I watched it back to back with the remake (I only did it in reverse because I knew I had to see Rubber today and had to make Night "non-canon" no matter when I watched it, so it just worked out that way), it was eye opening at times with regards to certain aspects, in particular the Ben/Cooper relationship. While their dynamic is antagonistic in both films, it’s more cooperative here. Even after the two come to blows, they still talk like adults and (in their own warped way) work together to come up with a plan, and I particularly like that Ben offers to carry Cooper’s daughter. At the same time, Ben’s more of a dick in this version – he won’t even let Cooper take some food down? What the hell, man?

And as I mentioned yesterday, it’s just a truly creepy film. I can’t imagine how blown away I might have been if I saw it when it was first released, when this level of “gore” and macabre thrills hadn’t really been seen before. By the time I saw it in the mid 90s, I had already seen Dawn, plus the remake and I think even Cemetery Man, not to mention Texas Chain Saw Massacre and any number of gory slashers. But that didn’t diminish its power; those early scenes are still quite effective, and the sense of dread and world-ending doom is apparent throughout the entire film. Even when it’s just the actors yakking in the house sans any zombies, you can FEEL the isolation and general feeling of “we’re all fucked”, in a way that Savini’s remake and pretty much every other non-Romero zombie film (and even some of his, most notably Diary) ever managed. And it starts right off the bat – one of the most effective little ‘scares’ in the movie is when Johnny’s radio suddenly comes back to life, and we realize that it wasn’t off during their drive – it was just ‘down’ due to the zombie plague that had already begun. Awesome.

I also truly appreciate that it set a good precedent for future zombie movies. While I’m not saying it CAN’T be done, I always prefer when the undead still roam at the end of the picture, and I suspect that if Romero had taken that route at the end of Night, it would have been far more common to see “problem solved” endings to these things, with the “it still goes on” endings considered nihilistic, instead of the norm. Interestingly, another concept never really caught on – the fact that zombies eat animals. I’m sure there are a few others, but for whatever reason, a zombie making a snack out of a woodland creature or whatever remains quite elusive (there IS that one shark, however...).

Another thing that elevates this movie above its remake (if you didn’t read that review – in short, I like that film’s ending more than this one, and some of the other little changes, but overall I think this is the superior film) is that it doesn’t introduce Harry and Tom so quickly. I think we’re about 40 minutes into the movie before they show up here (Ben’s arrival is also delayed a bit, allowing more time with an isolated Barbra), whereas they pop up around 25-30 minutes into the remake. I always prefer smaller groups in zombie tales for whatever reason (another reason why I like Dawn more than Night), so keeping it to just Barbra and/or Ben for a longer period totally works for me. Especially since the actors aren’t all that great – the females in particular are pretty stiff (love the delivery on “Don’t be afraid – I’m Helen Cooper!”).

One thing that the remake did better is the key/gas pump scene. Here it really doesn’t make any sense, the key just doesn’t work for some reason, and then Tom starts spraying the gas around like an idiot. He still behaves like an idiot in the remake, but at least they built in some irony with the fact that the gas pump key was clearly labeled and would have been found if Cooper wasn’t such an asshole (or if Ben had just gone into the cellar to begin with). The actual gas pump key in this version remains a mystery.

Speaking of this scene, in film school we had to do a project for our sound class where we got muted clips of a movie and had to recreate the sound design, and I got this particular scene (from the moment they leave the house to right after the truck blows up). I, being a wiseass, gave all the characters “funny” voices (including the insect that buzzes past Cooper’s face when he looks out the window) and did pretty much all the sounds (intentionally poorly) with my mouth: gunshots, explosions, etc. And for the zombies, I took the moaning from Day of the Dead. If I can find it I’ll put it up on Youtube or something.

As I mentioned, this release has some great extras, including a full length retrospective documentary featuring just about everybody of significance (plus John Russo) that is still alive, and contains some great behind the scenes photos and footage, including some priceless photos in color (real color, not colorized). It’s actually sort of jarring to see Johnny and Barbra in full color, but I wouldn’t have minded some more. They cover the entire production, including thoughts on the unfortunate copyright situation (apparently Russo and Russ Streiner are still trying to correct it), and there’s a touching bit about the late Duane Jones that I quite liked. Jones’ last interview (available previously) is also included, and even though he dislikes talking about the film, he still manages to sound personable and intelligent, making it worth a listen even if he barely reflects on his experiences shooting the film. A trailer is also included, and while it’s a typically terrible trailer from the era, I will never not laugh at the voiceover guy’s booming voice when he says “A night... of total ter-ROR!!!” (I also like his overlong dramatic pause for the title: Night!!! ..................of the Living Dead!”). There’s also a brief Q&A with Romero from some Canadian screening or festival, but most of what he says is repeated elsewhere and if there was any audience participation it has been removed; only the moderator asks anything. I prefer to hear the audience questions for these things, because you get more off-the-cuff nonsense.

Another reason I wish I was alive earlier is because I never got to see the movie in a drive-in or on a late night cable broadcast. I think it would be so awesome to be 10 or 11 and staying up late to watch it on one of the local channels (with or without a horror host), or in a drive-in, where I wouldn’t mind the film’s library score and mono soundtrack coming out of my little car speakers (I was recently at a drive-in shooting a movie and was amazed to see people going to see Unstoppable or Red– yeah that DTS sound mix must sound amazing coming out of 1520 AM or whatever the frequency was there). I mean, does it even air on late night broadcasts anymore? Seems the entire late night lineup is comprised of infomercials or actual programming (repeats of CSI, Law & Order and such). One of my favorite parts of Halloween II is when the guy is just sleeping in front of it even though it just started – almost like the movie is a sort of comfort for folks who like these things, the way It’s A Wonderful Life is for Christmas, or how ID4 is almost watchable on the Fourth of July. In fact, it seems almost counter-productive to be watching it on a pristine DVD with a bunch of bells and whistles – I would actually PREFER to go back to a low-quality version, just to retain some of that low-budget feel. But however you see it, if you haven’t yet – you’re doing it wrong. This one film inspired enough material for an entire week’s worth of HMAD entries (and then some), and even on that shitty VHS I first bought, when I was barely into high school, I could recognize its power. One of the few horror films that I truly believe will never ever be forgotten.

What say you?

PLEASE, GO ON...