Episode 50 (2011)

MAY 16, 2012

GENRE: GHOST, MOCKUMENTARY (?)
SOURCE: DVD (STORE RENTAL)

AWKWARD. That’s the word that I kept wanting to write down in my notes as I suffered through Episode 50, which is yet another “Hosts of a paranormal investigation show uncover a REAL ghost” horror movie, following Grave Encounters, The Feed, Gacy House, House Of Bones… all of which are better movies, mind you. If your movie can’t even measure up to an Asylum production, you got problems.

So how’s it awkward? Well for starters, the movie begins with episode 49 of their paranormal show, which (in true Ghost Hunters fashion) our heroes prove that the ‘ghost’ is actually just a variety of things: rats, some loose wiring, etc. It’s a perfectly fine idea – we need to establish that these guys don’t encourage ghosts all that often (all of those other movies did the same thing, for the record). The problem is that their show lacks any polish – there’s no way in hell I’d believe that this show would have made it to 50 or even 5 episodes with such clunky filmmaking (when the “victim” shows a door that keeps opening, it’s off camera). I wasn’t a huge fan of Grave Encounters, but they did a great job of selling the realism of their show with the douchey host and such – this one never once feels genuine.

And that’s a full ten minutes. Then we learn about their next case a bit, only for the movie to inexplicably stop cold to tell us that the show was cancelled before the 50th episode aired and that “something went wrong”. Well no shit! We’re watching a damn horror movie, aren’t we? You don’t think we know something went wrong? Why are you stopping the movie at the 17 minute mark to tell us? Thus, by the time they actually get to the site where the real movie begins, we’ve already been treated to far too much bad acting and confusing editing, with no signs that the rest of the movie will make up for it.

Another major issue is that directors Tess & Joe Smalley have no understanding of the camera’s role in a movie like this. Half the time it’s a “found footage” type approach with everything we’re seeing being the POV of a camera being held by one of the other characters; the other half it’s a standard movie where the camera goes wherever they can put it. But here’s the thing – there’s no discernible difference between the two options, as they’re seemingly using the same camera throughout and not putting up any sort of “REC” overlay to establish which is which. So you spend most of the movie wondering if someone else is there filming (and thus in danger from the ghosts), which creates a huge problem for any horror film – knowing where everyone is in relation to one another. The editing also goes out of sequence to deliver interviews and background info, so it’s impossible to have any sense of time as well – it’s just a mess.

And it’s a shame because their ghosts (and their accompanying FX) are actually decent, and there’s a cool hook at the top of the film that is unique to these things – rival ghost teams. Our heroes are the usual sort of arrogant, in it for the fame types, and then the others are a “spiritual” team that approaches things with a more religious frame of mind. So they don’t get along at first, and I was excited about getting an Emily Rose-style “well it could be this or it could be that” explanation for the ghostly events – but the Smalleys botch this almost immediately, as the two teams agree to a truce and barely disagree about anything besides the usual “We should get out of here!” “We’re not leaving without _____!!!” type arguments. The leader of “Team Jesus” is also quite possibly the worst actor I’ve ever seen in a legitimately released movie (i.e. not counting stuff like this), so that’s another major hurdle that the movie can’t possibly overcome, since he becomes a bigger focus during its 3rd act.

Oh, the 3rd act. Even if the movie was great up until that point I’d walk away disappointed, as they deliver silly CGI in a finale seemingly inspired by The Last Exorcism (another movie that they kept screwing up the POV logic). Worse, they leave the damn asylum! Nothing was keeping them there, to be fair, but it’s just (again) awkward to spend a portion of the film’s final 15 minutes watching the heroes casually drive over to some place we hadn’t seen before, encountering new characters, etc. That this portion also contains the most confusing examples yet of the “Is someone filming this?” problem doesn’t help.

Neither does the commentary, which you can tell right off the bat is going to be obnoxious as the film’s producer/co-writer Ian Holt explains his vanity tag before introducing the Smalleys. And then for the next 80 minutes you’ll listen as they apparently describe a different movie, laughing at lines that aren’t funny, praising the performances that are almost uniformly bad, and generally just slapping each other on the back for their film that currently boasts a 3/10 rating on IMDb. They also defend their inane approach to the camera, claiming that they just want shots that look good because that’s what’s most important. No, letting your audience get their bearings on what the hell is going on is most important. Maybe they’ll figure that out before their next movie.

What say you?

17 comments:

  1. Well, this sounds terrible!

    Shit like that with the camera is one of biggest hates when it comes to bad filmmaking. Shots that "look good" are fine, but not when it breaks continuity and becomes confusing for your audience.

    But they'd probably be the type to claim that an audience that was confused just "didn't understand their vision" or something.

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  2. It felt like Christian propaganda.

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    Replies
    1. that's exactly what it felt like to me too.

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    2. Glad to see you agreeing with yourself.

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  3. Being from the beautiful state of WV and living only 20 mins from the actual hospital, I was happy to see my beautiful state get some recognition. But this movie is just bad. It's choppy and makes no sense at all

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    1. ...Yea. I live 20 minutes from the Pen...they could have at least tried to make the Pen look like the Pen...the cells are green...not white...the red paint is chipped, and it smack dab in the middle of town, not on a country side...horrible movie.

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  4. Thanks for giving our film, "The Feed" a shout out! We're very happy to have been one of the first of the ghost-hunting-gone-wrong movies released. Wide release of the movie is coming this fall! www.TheFeedMovie.com

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  5. Currently watching this film right now.. I agree wholeheartedly with this review. Truly is one of the worst films I've ever seen.

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  6. I just watched this movie and completely agree with this review. This movie was HORRIBLE.

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  7. Another West Virginian here. The abandoned state mental hospital in WV is a beautiful piece of architecture. I was at least hoping they would show the actual building. Not sure where they filmed the movie, but it definitely wasn't Weston. I regret wasting part of my life watching this movie.

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  8. worst casting and effects... the story was idea very bad executed

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  9. Thank goodness I read the reviews first! I think I can sleep well at nite without ever having seen this. :D

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  10. Guess I am a dork but they said they were filming in West Virginia and the name on the plack was Robert Bayly vp of med and I googled the name and it is for a nursing home in New Jersey. If they were going to mislead us into thinking that it was WV at least cover some bases

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  11. I didn't get any part of the movie. The bit with the rich guy? Nope. The backstory of the main characters? Nope. The relationships? Nope. The ending? What happened with the portal and the demon? I think with a longer run time and better cast and crew this could've been good. It has a decent set up. It's rare in these types of movies you get people who actually believe in it instead of skeptics.

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  12. SO many loose threads if it were a rug I would have thrown it away. I liked the concept but it needed to be handled much better, and not turn into some sort of weird Christian propaganda.

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  13. I am an actual former patient at the Weston State Hospital (formerly the Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum), many decades ago. I can assure you that the actual facility is more frightening than this film would have you believe. It has been closed for some time, but there are actually guided tours of the place for those who are not squeamish. I, however, would never go back there.

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  14. And the West Virginia Pen, which is also reported to be extremely haunted, is in the small burg of Moundsville, WV, about a 2.5 hr drive away from Weston on winding country roads. Too bad they didn't have some footage of the pen, as it really does look like it should be haunted what with its gothic architecture. Never been to Weston to see the asylum, though they run regular ghost tours through it. This movie was a complete waste of time and I only kept watching because of the WV connection (yep, fellow West Virginian) and also some nifty effects at the beginning of the movie. Otherwise...ugh. Bad acting, plot, WTH with the ending, etc. Agreed.

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