Bleeding Rose (2007)

SEPTEMBER 23, 2011


If anyone still has any doubt over whether or not I take this whole “horror movie a day” thing seriously, the only reason I watched Bleeding Rose on the plane (instead of sleeping or reading) was because I wasn’t sure if I would make Livid on time (note – I did) and didn’t want to use that as an excuse for blowing my streak. I even brought my damn portable DVD player along for no other reason than to watch this movie! ALL FOR YOU!

Anyway, it’s a perfect airplane movie, in that it’s not particularly good or bad, but just sort of there. Being an independent (student?) production, I wasn’t expecting much in terms of acting, camerawork or production value, nor did I get it. However I was happy to see that they actually made attempts to clean up their poor soundtrack, which fits my whole thing about making the best version of the movie you can instead of just tossing it onto a DVD once you realize that it’s not the masterpiece you saw in your head. Simple things like “dubbing poorly recorded actors” actually proves to me you give a shit, which in turn makes your movie a lot easier to watch.

The story was also fairly interesting for this sort of thing. Our heroine is plagued by visions of a violent ex-lover, who has seemingly returned from the grave and is targeting those closest to her. Or is she doing it herself? Or is it someone else entirely? I admit that I wasn’t quite sure where it was going, and while the ending was rather disappointing (and obnoxiously “happy”), for a good hour or so I was more or less drawn in to the movie instead of just glancing at it while people watching on the plane (or plotting to kill the stupid woman in front of me who managed to step on my foot with her heels and not notice/apologize).

I also could have been distracted more by my beloved Rachel McAdams, who was on the in-flight screens via Midnight In Paris, which I would have watched had I not seen it already. Granted, she plays a bitch in the movie, but she looks damn good doing it, and the poor digital video/lousy transfer of Rose was hardly easy on the eyes, making it difficult to keep my eyes focused on my portable instead of one of my “freebies” in fetching formal attire just a few inches above. This particular film did cause a momentary bout of confusion for me though; I was starting to nod off a bit when a character in Bleeding Rose mentioned Owen Wilson, who is of course the star of Midnight In Paris. My half asleep brain blended the two, thinking that the Rose characters were suddenly in Paris, and it took a few minutes to sort it out in my head.

I also rewound to make sure I heard it right, because, come on, Owen Wilson? Fairly random actor to bring up under any circumstances, but it’s even more random in this particular movie. Our heroine says “Guess who I saw?” and her friend guesses Wilson, and then goes on and on about how “fine” he is. Um, do they mean Luke? I have nothing against Owen (in fact, as an Armageddon co-star, I will defend him against anyone who DOES), but I don’t think I’ve ever heard him described as “fine” by a horny young lady. Very peculiar choice; my guess is that Wedding Crashers was on cable while they were writing and they got him mixed up with Crashers’ pre-bloated Vince Vaughn. That or they just pulled a random name from the IMDb.

I was also a bit tickled by the movie’s subplot about recording some R&B music, which pads the runtime out some and is most likely not as random a subplot as the mention of Mr. Wilson. While the cop dialogue is laughably generic, the recording stuff seems pretty detailed, so my guess is someone involved actually does this sort of thing for a living. It’s not a BAD thing, per se, but unless the movie is about a band or the song has some sort of tie to the plot of the film, it doesn’t really make for interesting cinema. Plus it has no real payoff; it’d be like if Blow Out didn’t have that final scene where Travolta finds his perfect scream but we still got all of the scenes of him trying to find one. In fact they sort of go out of their way to abandon it; rather than play the song over the end credits, they put on this alt rock ballad that was a bit generic even for my tastes (note – I have a Lifehouse CD in my car stereo as we speak).

I usually could care less but it was kind of interesting that this was my second movie in a row that was largely populated with African American characters, however the two couldn’t be more different. While this one was a fairly dramatic tale, dealing with abuse (100 Feet came to mind once or twice, though this film predates that one) and love triangles, April Fools had a guy killing people because his nickname was Poop. However, April Fools ignored Caucasians entirely, while this one has a couple, all of whom are pretty much represented as dopes or evil. The evil ex is one, and I began to wonder if he was the only white guy they could find and/or if simply hiring the best actor regardless of color would have been beneficial, since he has zero presence and even less chemistry with the heroine, which really bones their flashback scenes when they’re supposed to be in love. A shot of them kissing looks more awkward than when two guys (or two girls) are forced to kiss in a comedy for whatever reason, and this is supposed to be what she’s FONDLY remembering?

Also, there’s a bit where a character is about to die and just says “You?”, which drives me insane in movies. If you think about the reality of the situation, no one would say “You!” unless they didn’t actually know the person but merely recognized them from a bar or something (i.e. “You?! The guy who kept staring at me?”). When it’s someone they actually know personally, as she does, a human being would say the person’s name – it’s one of those things where the characters are doing things that are directly for the purpose of preserving a surprise from the audience, and that sort of thing always takes me right out of the movie. Just have them keep quiet! Let them recognize their attacker with their dying breath, when they can’t talk anymore.

But whatever. The movie is 4-5 years old and isn’t going anywhere better than an Echo Bridge budget pack, so who cares about the specifics? All that matters at this point is whether or not the entire film is on the DVD (it is), if you can hear it (you can), and if it actually counts as a horror movie (sure). Going any further with my “analysis” is a waste of time.

What say you?


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