The Brink

SEPTEMBER 15, 2007

GENRE: CRAP, GHOST, TECHNOLOGY
SOURCE: DVD (STORE RENTAL)

DID YOU KNOW:

That The Brink is so bad, it actually makes the execrable White Noise (which has a similar plot) look good in comparison?

I bet you didn't! Let's see what else we can learn from this otherwise worthless movie!

Did you know that Thomas Edison died from an axe wound he received when attempting to defend himself against a ghost that he had brought into our world via his newest invention - a radio that could talk to the dead?

Or that the best place to open a suitcase containing important documents is the side of the highway, with trucks and cars whizzing by inches away?

Or that the only engineers that have the ability to revive Edison's invention are not older dudes in their 40s, but incredibly cute girls in their 20s?

Or that someone could remember a doll that she had as a newborn infant?

Or that 71 minutes (with a listed running time of 74 minutes) could still feel endless, and include lots of padding?

Or that most episodes of Goosebumps are not only scarier, but less idiotic to an intelligent viewer?

Or that IMDb lists this film as being Action, Drama, Horror, Sci-Fi, AND Thriller, and yet fails to achieve even the most basic principles of any of those type of films?

If you did not know any of those things, then I recommend The Brink to you! Otherwise, it's 74-but-really-71 minutes of your life you will never get back, unless Thomas Edison had also invented a machine that allowed you to do so.

What say you?