MAY 18, 2007
GENRE: PREDATOR, CRAP
SOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)
I have no idea what year this movie is technically from. The DVD says 2005, the IMDb says 2006, and it was released in a couple of theaters and on DVD in 2007. At any rate, I am referring to the one about the killer dogs who never actually appear threatening and starring that one guy from Black Xmas.
A few reviews back I pointed out a line that was just as useless as "He'll be unstoppable, unless we stop him." I forget which movie it was (probably a Rebane one) but it doesnt matter, because The Breed had one that topped em both: "He wouldn't be caught dead dying." WHAT?
There is also a 10 minute segment of the movie consisting of nothing but foreshadowing: from the car that doesn't always start, to the fact that one of the guys is handy with a bow and arrow, to the fact that the house has a zipline. It's borderline parody.
The level of dog violence is impressive: shot with arrow, slammed into tree, a couple get run over... the dogs settle for just biting the humans. But it's not enough to keep the movie from earning the increasingly common "Crap" label.
And fear not! The movie carries the fine "Wes Craven Presents" tradition of hiring a complete vacuum of screen presence as the lead (this time, uber bore Michelle Rodriguez, an actress whose appeal will never make the least bit of sense to me) and a much more interesting actress (Taryn Manning) as her friend. But then again, nothing about this movie really bothers to be different so I guess it's no surprise.
What say you?
Well, crap. Even though the "Wes Craven Presents" moniker has a piss poor track record I was looking forward to "The Breed" since the plot is basically a reworking of one of my favorite old movies "Attack of the Killer Shrews." Seemed like it would be silly fun.
ReplyDeleteBTW, just saw 28 Week Later tonight...Friggin' Awesome!
Oh wow I didnt even make Killer Shrews connection... i loved that movie too (it was a movie a day pick!) "BUT THE WALLS ARE ADOBE!"
ReplyDeleteWow. Even after your review I wanted to like this movie but the ending sucked so bad I had to hate it. What the fuck? It's like they just gave up about half way through production. And then I go to watch the "Special Features" and the little movie magic piece on the dogs says they spent six months shooting in South Africa!!? Six months and that uninspired final reel is what they came up with?? Pathetic.
ReplyDeleteOn the plus side:
1. Michelle Rodriquez' breasts in a bikini
2. 90 percent real dogs and less CGI
Ya the lack of CG was nice, but in some cases I think I would have preferred it (like when the dogs were practically smiling). I didnt even watch the extra feature - life's too short, hahaha.
ReplyDeleteThe worst line I have ever heard is: "What happend when an unstoppable thing smash in an inamovable stuff?" In the movie the philosophical answer is a giant BOOOOOOM!
ReplyDeletea bunch of tail wagging dogs in broad daylight ... all they needed to get off the island was a frisbee.... those were the least menacing dogs i've ever seen...
ReplyDeletekiller shrews was much better -- and that's saying a lot...
kyle
--
www.kylecassidy.com
watching now on TNT.
ReplyDeleteim excited to see this great ending.
haha.
yeah man..visually i cant tell when this movie was made. I see 2 actors in it, that seem 10 year younger than anything recent ive seen them, so im quite confused also.
Michelle Rodriguez and that black guy from that tv show. they both look alot younger in this.